Paul snorted a brief laugh. "I doubt there's any woman on Mars the equal of you. No, that's wrong. None of them could be your equal and I know there's no one better than you."
"Yeah. Sure. After, say, two years apart you wouldn't be eyeing some babe with a halfway decent body who likes to smile at you?"
"No."
"I hate it when you're so positive about something without thinking about it! You're human. You're going to be tempted being alone out there that long."
"So?" Paul gave a dismissive wave of his hand. "Being tempted isn't the same as doing anything. Hell, Jen, you'll be here without me. I'm not worried."
"Oh? You don't think any other guys would be interested in me?"
"No! Yes! Dammit, Jen. I trust you. I'll always trust you. And I won't betray your trust."
"Maybe we should rethink the marriage. To make sure you're not committed just in case-"
"No! Aren't you listening to me?"
"I'm thinking. That's all."
Paul lowered his head, looking down at the floor. I'm in this mess because of everything I've done. Getting involved in things I should've let slide. If I'd just kept my mouth shut and gone along I'd being going to whatever job I wanted now. Wouldn't I? Nobody gunning for me, nobody wondering what the hell I'm going to do next. He looked up again, his eyes coming to rest on Jen. But I know pretty much for certain that Jen fell for me because I did do things I didn't have to do. Because I didn't go along and keep my mouth shut. Maybe I'd have the duty of my dreams… without her. Would I want that?
Can't I even avoid second-guessing my own second-guessing?
"What are you thinking?" Jen asked.
"That I'm an idiot."
"Hey, I get to call you an idiot because I love you. Nobody else gets to call you that."
"Even me?"
"Even you."
"What are we going to do, Jen?"
"Have you talked to anybody about getting the order mod rescinded?"
"Yeah. The detailer-"
"Who lied?"
"Like a big dog. Yeah. 'Needs of the Navy,' my ass."
"Maybe your captain…"
Paul nodded. "Yes. I asked Captain Hayes. No promises, but he's going to see what he can do. And, uh…" He hesitated.
"And?"
"Herdez. I asked her."
Jen rolled her eyes. "I bet she told you it was a great career move."
"No. I haven't heard back from her, yet."
"Hmmm." Jen lounged backward and rubbed her eyes. "Talk about dealing with the devil."
"Jen, Captain Herdez is a very tough officer, but she respects you as an officer. You know that." Jen made a noncommittal sound, frowning toward one corner of the room. "I believe she'll do her best. Unfortunately, she's not very political."
"I'll give you that. Herdez worked us to death but she never played political games." Jen shook her head. "Four years. It's like I'm seeing you being sent to prison, with no visiting privileges."
"I'm not there, yet."
"No." She took a deep breath, her face hardening. "Excuse me. I need to make a phone call. In private. Can we meet somewhere? Fogarty's. I'll come there when I'm done."
Paul nodded, knowing that she meant to call her father. Paul had been present during earlier blow ups between Jen and her father and hadn't enjoyed the experiences, so he had no objection at all to taking a hike this time. "I'll be there. Jen, don't burn any bridges."
"I-" She glared at him. "Thank you. Go away."
"Yes, ma'am. Right away, ma'am."
Fogarty's hadn't changed, but then Fogarty's never changed. The bar that tried its best to mimic an old neighborhood pub somehow magically transported amid the metal and carbon fiber composites of Franklin Naval Station also tried its best to avoid redecorating so that crews returning from long cruises in space would find a familiar place to celebrate their return and drown accumulated sorrows.
Paul chose a small table and sat nursing a drink, imagining the conversation going on between Jen and her father, and more than a little relieved that he wasn't listening in personally.
"Hey, Sinclair! Aren't you the guy who used to have a career?"
Paul looked up, frowning at a short, heavy-set officer standing at the bar. The crowd around the short officer laughed, hoisting drinks in mock-salute toward Paul. He knew the man, knew him well enough not to want to talk to him, so he pretended to ignore him
But the short officer sauntered over to Paul. "So, what's it like?"
Paul controlled his voice, trying to keep it even and calm. "What's what like, Kramer?"
Kramer grinned. "That sucking feeling as your career goes down the flush. Anything like a catastrophic reentry?"
"I wouldn't know. I've never had one. How many catastrophic reentries have you had?"
Kramer's audience chuckled a bit at Paul's reply. Kramer himself kept his wide smile, though his eyes hardened. "None like yours, pal. Come on! Tell us how it feels!"
Paul just gazed back at Kramer, trying to keep his expression totally bland, as if nothing the other officer was saying mattered. "Go away. I'm not interested in talking to you."
"Aw, you're gonna hurt my feelings. What're you gonna do next? Everybody knows you're gonna screw up again."
Paul smiled humorlessly. "I won't bother telling you what everyone knows about you."
Kramer stopped smiling. "You'd better hope we're never on the same ship."
"I've been hoping that since the first minute I met you at the Academy."
The audience laughed a bit again and Kramer curled his lip. "I hear that girl of yours has finally left the Maury. They get tired of trying to keep her from getting anywhere near the engineering plant again?"
Paul's left hand, safely under the table, clenched into a fist and made an abortive jerk upward, but Paul managed to kill the urge to slug Kramer before the move was visible. Before he could say anything, one of the other officers with Kramer stepped forward and pulled on Kramer's arm. "Hey, that's enough. Not funny."
"It's true!" Kramer insisted. "Would any of you want her on your ship?"
An uncomfortable silence fell, while Paul sought for something he could say that wouldn't sound like he was defending Jen against something she never should've been accused of doing.
Finally, one of the officers with Kramer poked her finger at him. "Yeah. I would."
"Me, too," another muttered defiantly.
The officer who'd poked Kramer turned to Paul. "Sorry. He's a jerk." Kramer reddened.
Paul nodded, letting his gratitude show. "I know. Thanks."
Kramer raised his arm and started to speak but two of his comrades started guiding him out of the bar. The officer speaking to Paul shrugged helplessly. "Yeah. I had a friend on the Maury." Paul stiffened again. "I followed the court-martial real close, so I know what happened. Most people don't. They just remember the news of your girl being charged and stuff. Sorry," she repeated.
Paul rose and reached to shake her hand. "No. You don't have anything to be sorry about. Thanks. I mean that."
"S'okay." The officer followed her friends out of the bar, leaving Paul alone again. Very alone.
His data pad chirped, announcing an incoming call. "Captain Herdez? Ma'am, I need your help…"
Jen came in half an hour later, her face still flushed. "My father claims to be utterly shocked, shocked that I would think he had anything to do with this. Naturally, he says there's not a thing that can be done and he really thinks you should be happy at the opportunity to serve in such a cutting edge assignment."
"Happy. That's one emotion that hasn't come up yet." Paul hesitated. "I just talked with Herdez. Turns out she got my message earlier and has been discreetly checking out options."
"Huh." Jen took a big drink from Paul's glass. "Do you mind?" she asked as she sat it down again.
"No, dear. Of course not."
"Very funny. So what'd Herdez say?"