Agatha had to admit that, up until recently, this had been the case.
Zeetha snorted. “You really escaped from Castle Wulfenbach?”
Agatha nodded. “Yes.”
Zeetha eyed her speculatively. “You must be tougher than you look.”
Agatha considered this statement. “I had help,” she admitted.
Zeetha grinned. Agatha noticed that she had disquietingly large canines. “So? That’s a mark in your favor. My people say that a good friend is like a strong sword.”
“Your people?”
The momentary jocularity left Zeetha and she slumped a bit. For a moment, Agatha thought she wasn’t going to say anything, then she sighed. “I’m from Skifander. Ever heard of it?”
Agatha blinked. She suddenly remembered a small cabin high in some heavily-forested mountains. It had snowed furiously earlier in the day, drifts piling up around the carved wooden walls. Agatha had been young, very young, and had returned from building an army of snow minions to find her Uncle Barry leaning against the cabin. Night was falling, and he was watching the stars emerge in the night sky. They had gazed at them together, and Agatha had said something about the night revealing her hidden jewels.
This turn of phrase had delighted her uncle, and that night, while they ate in front of the crackling fire, he had told her fabulous stories for half the night about—
“Skifander!” Agatha declared with a nostalgic smile. “The Warrior Queen’s Hidden Jewel! Guardian of the Red Mountain! Oh, I remember that!”
The words had an electric effect. Zeetha’s eyes widened and her jaw dropped. She stared at Agatha as if she had spontaneously grown a second nose.
Agatha was surprised. “I’m sorry,” she stammered. “Did I get it wrong? It’s been so long—”
Suddenly hands like iron gripped her arms. Zeetha’s face was centimeters from her own. Her eyes were wild. “You know where Skifander is?”
Agatha blinked—“No! I—”
Zeetha shouted her down. “WHO DOES?”
“My uncle! He told me stories—”
“Where is he?” Zeetha was frantic.
“I don’t know!” Agatha shouted. “He disappeared years ago!”
Zeetha staggered back, her eyes wide. “No!” she whispered. With a shimmer of steel, her swords appeared in her hands. “No, No, NO! NOOOO!” she screamed like an animal as the swords wove a glittering arc around them. Suddenly, Zeetha seemed to catch herself. Eyes still wild, she slammed her swords back into their scabbards and ran off, howling.
All around Agatha, objects began to fall apart. The people nearby slowly unfroze and turned to stare at Agatha.
The old man with the vest remarked, “Huh. She’s never done that before.”
A tall girl with a great mass of dark curly hair and an astonishing amount of exposed cleavage burst from the nearest caravan. “Smoke and the devil! What was that all about?”
An intense young woman in a grey leather uniform shrugged. “I have no idea. The two of them were just talking—and then Zeetha went nuts.”
The tall girl turned to Agatha, who was still stunned. “What happened?” she demanded.
“I don’t know!” Agatha wailed. “We were talking about Skifander and—”
The girl interrupted. “Wait—You’ve heard of Skifander? Really?”
Agatha looked at her. “Yes. Really.” The look on the girl’s face prompted her to ask, “Why is that so surprising?”
The tall girl slowly sat down. She studied Agatha intently for a minute and then nodded to herself. “Sorry. I’m one of the few friends Zeetha has.” Agatha thought, rather uncharitably, that she was surprised Zeetha had any friends at all.
The girl introduced herself. “I’m Olga Žiga. Listen. Zeetha was—is—from this Skifander place. Apparently it’s some ancient lost city in the jungle or a cavern or something.”
Agatha nodded. She could believe it. “Lost” civilizations were surprisingly common, even outside of the Wastelands. Two years ago, a group of students had discovered one under old Rudolf‘s Delicatessen back in Beetleburg.
“Well a few years ago, this Skifander got itself ‘discovered’ by some Spark’s expedition. When the explorers were ready to head back to civilization, the Queen decided to send one of her warriors out with them, an explorer of her own to go see what the rest of the world was getting up to. Zeetha was chosen. It was a big honor. She’s actually a member the Royal Family, though she doesn’t go on about it.
“On the journey here, she got really sick. Feverish. She doesn’t remember anything about the trip—except the hallucinations, and from her description, they were pretty awful. Floating around, furniture on the ceiling—wild stuff. Then, just as she was getting back on her feet, their airship was attacked by pirates.”
“They killed everyone else on board, but decided to spare her. Personally, I think it was her hair. It’s really naturally green, you know, and really pretty when she treats it well. They probably thought they could sell an exotic like her for a nice sum[8]. Plus, by then, she must’ve looked pretty helpless.
“Anyway, they took reasonably good care of her. That meant that by the time they got back to their fortress and let her out of her cell, she was nice and healthy. Oh, and in case I hadn’t mentioned it before, Skifander is apparently some sort of city of warriors, and Zeetha had to earn her spot on the trip by beating everyone one else who wanted to go. So, as you might guess, she’s a really good warrior.
“Well, she took them all on. All the pirates in the fortress. All of them. And she won. She killed them all. Again... All of them.”
Olga paused, and Agatha thought she looked a little embarrassed. “Like I said, a good fighter, but... thinking really isn’t her strong suit. So it wasn’t until she’d finished them all off and burned down the fortress that she realized that she’d just killed anyone who might’ve had a clue about where she’d originally come from.”
Olga sat back and sighed, smoothing her hair with a clash of bracelets. “Since then she’s been wandering all over Europa looking for a way home. She joined up with us almost two years ago.” She looked Agatha in the eye. “And you’re the first person, anywhere, who’s even heard of this Skifander.”
Agatha puffed a lock of hair up out of her face. “I see. That explains her reaction.” Agatha thought a moment. “I wish I knew more, but my uncle never said where Skifander was. He just told stories about it.”
Olga stood. “But at least you’ve heard of it. Most of the others—” she glanced around. “Well, I think at least some of the others think she was just making it all up. And... Zeetha can tell. That really wears on her. You see how she is.”
At this moment, Pix rounded the corner of a wagon. “Agatha!” she called out. “Master Payne is ready to see you!”
Olga stood. “Ah, I’ve got to pack. Nice meeting you.” She took Agatha’s hand. “I’m so glad you’ve heard of Skifander. It’s been bothering her so much. Even if you don’t know anything else... well... thank you for that.” Olga turned with a wave and vanished back into her wagon.
Agatha turned to Pix, and the two set off together. Pix looked sideways at her curiously. “You’ve really heard about Zeetha’s Skifander?”
“It was years ago,” Agatha admitted, “But my uncle traveled all over. He talked about it like it was a real place.”
Pix digested this. “And where are you heading?”
“Mechanicsburg.” Agatha replied.
“Ah. The home of the Heterodynes. That’s quite a way. You have family there?”
Agatha considered this. “That’s what I’m going to find out.”
Pix nodded. “Your best bet is to head west.” She gestured over the trees. “Do you have a compass?” Agatha shook her head. “Oh, well, I’ll bet we can find one for you to take with you easily enough. I’ll ask around before you go.”
8
While slavery was not tolerated within the Wulfenbach Empire, there were other lands, and other empires with no such rules. Also, it was a sad truth that certain unethical Sparks of the time paid quite handsomely for “laboratory volunteers” when they could get them...