AIDEEN

I felt guilty when I said, “Attention.”

“But why?” Keela pushed.

I grinned. “Because attention from other men provokes our men to act like cavemen. We’re theirs and they have no problem declarin’ that to any man. Or woman.”

“Not just a pretty face.” Bronagh winked. “We don’t need other men, but when they show us attention, we reap the benefits. I’m thinkin’ if Ash shows Branna some attention it might knock Ryder upside the head and ring alarm bells that he might actually lose her. Branna will see his reaction and boom, back to their old ways they will go.”

I tilted my head to the side and said, “You do realise how bad the outcome could turn out to be, don’t you?”

Bronagh shrugged. “I’ll have words with Ash, he’ll know the score and will want to help. Everyone loves Branna and would do anythin’ for her.”

I sighed. “What if this goes really bad and they both kill us for interferin’ in their relationship?”

Keela shrugged. “It can’t go any worse than the way things are between them right now.”

Are you sure about that?

I gnawed on my inner cheek. “I suppose.”

“Does that mean you’re in?” Bronagh asked, her eyebrows raised.

Was I?

I blinked. “What the hell, yeah, I’m in. I can’t let you both do this without me, something would definitely go arseways.”

Bronagh thrust her hips and squealed. “This is goin’ to go perfectly,” she announced, then turned around and strolled away with Keela in tow.

I lifted my hand and rubbed my neck, feeling very aware of the unsettling feeling that just took up residence in my stomach. I shook the feeling off and looked across the room to Ryder and Branna who were both on the opposite ends of the sofa, point blank ignoring each other.

I nervously swallowed, and to myself, I quietly murmured, “What’s the worst that could happen?”

A voice in the back of my head whispered one word.

Don’t cry.

I repeated the thought over and over as I sat in Aideen and Kane’s apartment and watched Bronagh interact with Dominic, his hand absentmindedly stroking her abdomen where their baby girl was growing.

I gnawed on my inner cheek as I looked away from the happy couple, and focused on the plasma screen TV on the wall facing me. My eyes watched the program that was showing, but my brain had no clue what was happening because it was elsewhere. I straightened up and hoped I didn’t appear to be so out of sorts, but I wouldn’t have been surprised if I did because I felt dreadful.

I was jealous.

I was green with envy every time I looked at Kane and Aideen with sweet baby Jax, but my heart broke when I watched how Dominic interacted with Bronagh. She was my little sister. I was a whole decade older than her and she had surpassed me on the journey to motherhood.

I had no doubt she would marry before me, too.

I hated that I felt so bitter towards my own blood. I was beyond happy for them, but I hated them a little at the same time. Her and Dominic were solid. They suited each other so well, and their love, though sometimes extremely intense, was true and forever binding. The more I let myself think about them, the more depressed I felt when I looked at my own relationship.

I didn’t think it could even be classed as a relationship anymore. Ryder and I, we both changed. Somewhere along the line, we stopped being nice to one another. We stopped loving one another. It started out as normal bickering that grew into full blown screaming contests. We weren’t even at that angry stage anymore; we were at the silent one.

We ignored one another, and when we did interact, it wasn’t pleasant.

I didn’t know where we went wrong, but Ryder and I, we fell out of love. It pained me to admit that, but it was the truth. I loved him dearly, but I wasn’t in love with him anymore, and that broke my heart because I had no idea how we got to the point we were at. I had no idea what I did wrong.

It was sorrowful.

I glanced to my left to where he was sat on Aideen’s sofa. He was, as usual, tapping away on the screen of his phone and paying me no mind. I almost snickered when I remembered, many months ago, I used to feel hurt when he gave his phone more attention than me, but now I relished that the stupid device held his gaze, because I never wanted him to look at me and really see me like he used to, because he would see how weak I had become.

I didn’t want him to see that I was broken.

I looked forward and then to my right. I picked up the bottle of water I got from Aideen’s fridge when I came over. I uncapped the bottle, took a swig and swallowed down the cool liquid.

I widened my eyes when some of the water went down the wrong way and entered my lungs. I lowered my bottle and instantly began coughing as I lifted my hand and pressed it against my chest.

I jumped with fright when I felt a hand pressed against my back, and lightly tap away, helping me get the water up and regain my composure. I looked back to my left as Ryder retracted his hand away from me, without looking away from the screen of his phone.

I stared at him blankly, blindly.

I wasn’t sure what to make of his kind gesture, which was terribly sad. He was my fiancé and I was beyond surprised that he touched me. He never touched me anymore. Not if he could help it anyway.

“Thank you,” I said lowly to him.

He didn’t look at me as he said, “Don’t mention it.”

Silence settled over us again, and my sadness returned.

I hated feeling so down.

I looked away from him and glanced around the room, my eyes landing on Aideen as Bronagh and Keela moved away from her, smirks in place on both of their pretty faces.

What were they up to now?

I lightly smiled to myself, and shook my head.

I looked down to my leg when it vibrated. I reached into my pocket and took out my phone, smiling when my co-workers name flashed across the screen.

Ash Wade.

He joined our crew at the hospital about ten weeks ago. He was a twenty-eight year old English man who moved over from London when he was twenty years old and loved it so much that he never went back home.

Ash was a hoot. He made me laugh on days that I thought I could do nothing but cry. He talked to me, and he listened to me talk. A lot. He became quite a good friend of mine, and I was very thankful to have met him at a point in my life when I need a pick-me-up.

Ash was pure light; he would brighten up anyone’s day.

I slid my finger across the green blob on the screen, then brought the phone to my ear.

“What do you want?” I asked, grinning.

Ash snorted through the receiver. “It’s a good thing I didn’t misdial a hotline number and ask for phone sex when you fired that loaded question my way.”

I joyfully laughed, the sound surprising me and others around me. I looked forward when I felt many sets of eyes on me, but only one set that caused me to tense up.

His eyes.

We had grown apart, but I could never seem to shake the sensation that came over me when he looked at me. The moment his eyes locked onto my body, I became hyper aware of every movement I made.

“Branna?” Ash’s voice called out. “You there, Angel?”

I couldn’t help but playfully roll my eyes.

Ash decided to label me with the nickname Angel when the grandfather of one of our patients a few weeks back kept calling me it when he addressed me. I asked him to drop it, but he hasn’t, and it had seemed to stick.

“I’m here,” I replied. “Sorry, just zoned out for a second.”

“No worries,” Ash chirped then lowered his voice. “You won’t believe what happened on the ward today after you went home.”