“I’m not your love! I’m not your anything! You deserted me, you limey prick, and I’ll never forgive you. But I’m glad you left because now I don’t ever have to look at your ugly face again. And guess what? When I told you I loved you, it was a big joke, do you hear me? All this time I’ve been laughing at you behind your back. I don’t love you! The whole thing was a big fat joke!”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” he replied, not missing a beat. “But since I love you enough for both of us, I’m not too concerned. It’s embarrassing, really, how much I miss you.”
That calmed her down a little.
She abandoned the side of the bed to sit cross-legged on the rug so Gordon, who’d slithered under the bed during her tirade, could emerge and put his head in her lap. Her eyes had started to leak, but she took deep breaths so Colin didn’t know his desertion had turned her into a regular little watering pot. “How could you have left?”
“An animal in pain. That sort of rubbish.” He sounded haughty, vaguely bored, but she knew him too well, and she wasn’t fooled. She’d hurt him, all right, maybe more than he’d hurt her. She leaned down and blotted her eyes on one of Gordon’s ears. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. You know I didn’t.”
He replied with the same jaded tones. “That fact that you couldn’t help yourself only made it more painful.”
“You were right,” she said in a miserably small voice. “I never gave us a chance. I realized it as soon as you drove off.”
“Of course I was right.”
“Could you come back now?”
“Under what terms?”
“This isn’t a business negotiation.”
“Just so we’re clear.”
“I love you,” she said. “I can’t be much clearer than that. But we need to have this discussion in person. Where are you?”
“As to that… I’m not quite ready to say.”
She sat a little straighter. “Then why are you calling? What do you want?”
“I want your heart, my darling.”
“You have it. Don’t you know that?”
“And I want your courage.”
She bit her lip. “The courage thing is starting to come together for me. It’s not happening overnight, but I’m getting there. And I don’t want to lose you. I haven’t really thought this through all the way, but it seems to me that Parrish can survive the scandal of two people who love each other living together for a while, don’t you?”
There was a short pause. “That’s what you want, then? For me to come back so we can live together?”
“I know it’s a big step, but I’m tired of being scared-you have no idea-and I’m ready to take that step if you are.”
“I see.”
“You mentioned an engagement. I’m… I’m honored, Colin. I know this is just as hard for you as it is for me. This could be our first step.” He didn’t say anything, and she wondered if she’d shot too far ahead. “But if you’re not ready to live together, I understand, and forget about the engagement-it’s way too soon. I’ll move back to the carriage house so you have some room. I won’t push, and I won’t crowd you. I know how that feels. Take all the time you need. Just come back.”
She waited.
“Colin?”
“You still don’t understand, my darling.”
She was perspiring from nerves. “Understand what?”
“I’m returning on our wedding day. Not a moment before.”
“Our wedding day!” She jumped to her feet. Gordon slithered back under the bed.
“I’m sure Winnie and the Seawillows will be more than happy to help with the arrangements, and Ryan can expedite the paperwork.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“Oh, but I am.”
“An engagement, yes.” She shot across the room. “After we’ve lived together for a while. But we’re not jumping into marriage. We aren’t prepared.”
“I’m afraid I have to go, Sugar Beth. I need to get back to work. Congratulations on the sale of your painting. I only wish I could have been there to celebrate with you.”
“Don’t you dare hang up! Are you telling me that you’re not coming back unless I agree to marry you?”
“Of course not. That would give you far too much wiggle room. What I’m telling you is that I won’t come back until you’re standing inside the church, at the altar, with all our friends there as witnesses.”
“That’s ridiculous!” She kicked a magazine out of her way. “This isn’t one of your books, Colin. This is real life. People don’t do things like this.”
“But then we’re not ordinary people, are we?”
She’d started to hyperventilate and sank down on the chair. “Use your head. Neither of us can afford another mistake. We have to be sure we’re completely comfortable with each other.”
“I was sure a long time ago. I’m very much in love with you.”
She gripped the phone tighter. “Come home, Colin. Now.”
“And put myself at your mercy again? I’m hardly that foolish.”
“Then how are we going to settle this?”
“Inside a church in front of a minister. Take it or leave it.”
She jumped back up. “I’m leaving it!”
She heard a bored sigh. “Fortunately for you, I’m prepared to be patient for another day or so, which, more than anything else, bears testimony to the depth of my feelings for you.”
“Stop talking like a fop!”
“I’ll check in with Ryan periodically. But-and listen very carefully, my darling-I will not be calling you again. If you were a sane woman, I would, of course, behave in a more rational fashion. Since you are a lunatic, however, this is the only way.”
“You planned this from the beginning, didn’t you?”
“Let’s simply say that you’re not the sort of woman who can be permitted to run amok.”
She clenched her fist. “Colin, please. We have the chance for a future together. Don’t screw it up by making unreasonable demands.”
“How could I screw it up when you’re doing that so very well all by yourself?”
“I’m pregnant! You have to come back right now to take care of me.”
“No, my love, you are not pregnant, and I won’t be manipulated. Now, this conversation has grown tedious beyond belief. I love you with all my heart, and I- Are you crying, my sweet?”
“Yes.” She sniffed. “That’s practically all I’ve done since you left.”
“Truly?”
“I’m afraid so.”
“How splendid.”
And that was that.
Sugar Beth stomped through the house for a few hours, cried some more, and ate her way through two bowls of oatmeal. The next morning she woke up even angrier, grabbed the phone, and hired Bruce Kleinman, Amy’s first boyfriend and the best contractor in town, to start work on the depot. She no longer owed Colin a thing. Right after, she reached Jewel. “Remember when I told you I had this fantasy about opening a children’s bookstore in the depot?”
“I’m hardly likely to forget it. I told you I thought you should do it. You were the one with cold feet, remember? You said you couldn’t do anything permanent because of Colin.”
“That’s not a problem anymore, since I officially hate him. And I hope you meant it about us being partners.”
Sugar Beth pulled the receiver away from her ear to keep Jewel’s celebratory hoots from rupturing her eardrum.
She showered, slipped into a new pair of orange capris along with a sleeveless white shirt and sandals, and called Winnie to bring her up-to-date. Afterward, she set off to meet Bruce at the depot. When they were done, she went to see Jewel so they could discuss their partnership agreement, and following that, she snatched Charlie from his baby-sitter and took him to the park to play. She ended the day with a quick drop-in at Yesterday’s Treasures.