Rick rose from his rocker and took one last look at the dramatic twilight world before himrugged mountains, groves of towering live oak, vineyards as far as the eye could see. Maybe someday hed bring Josie here. She struck him as the kind of person whod appreciate it. /I will not hurt her./ The mantra was only in his head, but it came at him so hard it knocked his breath away. For seven years now, hed been in hiding. Every moment had been about getting his life together, repairing the damage hed done to the world and himself. For seven years, he hadnt dared trust himself with a woman. So why in Gods name did he think he could be trusted with Josephine Sheehan?
When Rick reached down to collect Teenys cup and saucer, the china rattled in his hand. He was trembling.
Josies mother slammed down a wooden spoon and turned away from the stove. Would you please put that dog out in the yard! And for Gods sake, get that underwear away from him!
Josie scrambled from a kitchen chair to catch Genghis before he wore out his welcome. Like he did most Sundays. She lunged, but missed, and the dog was off on another lap from kitchen to dining room to formal living room to family room to hallway. He flew back to the kitchen, ears blown back, delight shining in his little beady brown eyes, Fruit Of The Looms flopping from his jaws.
Josies father shouted from the family room, his voice rising above the Giants game on TV. If that damn dog keeps this up, Ill have to go to work commando!
Ohmigod, Beth said. Not a pleasant visual. Josies sister went back to tossing the salad.
Josie dropped to the floor and closed off access to the dining room.
Genghis skidded to a stop and changed course, his claws flailing on the kitchen tile. Once he regained traction, he was greeted by Josies brother, Donald, who had body-blocked the hallway in preparation for the dogs change of direction.
Got him! Donald laughed as Genghis lay down in defeat. Give it up, dude, he said.
Josie felt a swell of pride as her dog dropped the drool-soaked boxer shorts on command. Maybe Bea had been wrongthose six weeks of dog-training classes had not, in fact, been a complete waste.
Good boy. Donald ruffled Genghiss fur. You really need to get this dog a haircut, Joze, he said, standing up. The Tito Jackson look is so yesterday.
Beth chuckled. And we all know how trendy Josies gotten lately.
I didnt think you noticed, Josie said sarcastically.
Cant you girls spend an afternoon without all the snarky comments, for crying out loud? Josies mother bent down, rattled around in a cupboard, and continued talking, her reprimand muffled by clanking bakeware. I dont think youre any better then you were as teenagers. Anyway, Josephine is looking stunning lately!
Beth rolled her eyes. Mom, did you want me to put the feta cheese on top of the salad or put it in a separate bowl on the table?
Josies mother straightened, turned, and stared at her youngest child in disbelief. Your father has detested feta cheese all his life. Trust me when I tell you he hasnt changed his opinion and never will, not about feta, or politics, or the church, or sex, or anything else in this mortal coil. She picked up the wooden spoon and waved it around. Men dont change. Mark my words.
Josie caught her sisters eye as she pushed herself up from the floor.
You know its bad when she breaks out the Shakespeare, she whispered to Beth.
I heard that. Im not deaf. Ann Sheehan put the lid on the potatoes and leaned up against the kitchen counter, crossing her arms over her chest.
She was still beautiful at sixty-three, Josie thought. The red in her hair had been washed out by silver, but it created a lovely frame for her smooth skin and gray eyes.
Everything okay, Mom? Josie walked to her mother and rubbed her upper arm. Is everything all right with you and Dad?
I think Ill take Genghis for a walk. Donald grabbed the leash off the hook and snapped it to Genghiss collar.
Were eating in twenty minutes! Josies mother called after Donald, then raked a hand through her hair with a sigh. I hate the way you girls snap at each other. After thirty years, you think you could move on.
Josie patted her moms shoulder. Sorry. But everything else is okay?
Her mother sighed. Im fine, Josie. Your father and I are fine. Perfectly fine. Everythings fine.
Thank God theres one thing I can always count on to stay the same. Beth made this pronouncement as she walked out to place the wooden salad bowl in the center of the dining room table, then continued her thought when she returned. It seems like everyone I know is getting divorced. I mean, its not like I blame them. I think about divorcing Howie at least three times a day.
Beth! Josies mother looked horrified. Does Howie know how you feel?
Beth shrugged, opening the pantry door and finding a small cut-glass serving bowl. Oh, I change my mind by the time I get the kids to bed.
Usually. I dont know… She spooned the feta cheese into the bowl.
Maybe it isnt even about Howie. Maybe its the kids. Or maybe its just me. All I know is sometimes I want to commit hara-kiri after a day of changing diapers and wiping off the kitchen counter. Beth looked up at her sister and mother, offering them a blank stare. Seriously, I must wipe off the kitchen counter seventeen times a day. While cooking breakfast, then cleaning up after, then while preparing a mid-morning snack, then after, and the same process over and over again with lunch, snacks, dinner, snacks…
As if on cue, Howard Fleischek popped his head into the kitchen. Josie was struck by what a sweet, open face her brother-in-law had. He walked over and planted a kiss on Beths cheek.
Anything I can do to help?
Beths head snapped back. Youre supposed to be watching Chloe and Calvin!
Theyre asleep on Grandpas lap.
What? Beth stared at him in shock. Theyre not supposed to nap now!
Theyll be off schedule! They wont go to sleep at bedtime if theyre sleeping now!
Howies face fell and his voice sounded injured. Jesus, Beth. They fell asleep on their grandfathers lap. Its a Norman Rockwell moment, not the Armageddon.
As tears welled in Beths eyes, Ann intervened. Lets go in and relax while the potatoes finish boiling, she told her son-in-law, guiding him out of the kitchen and into the family room. Howie glanced back at his wife, frowning.
Whats with you, Beth? Josie returned to the table and sat down. She watched a wave of confusion wash over her sisters pretty face. Beth was four years younger. She was the Sheehan daughter whod inherited the full monty of their mothers beauty, along with her auburn hair. When they were kids, Josie was always referred to as the cute one, while Beth was such a beautiful girl.
Her sister collapsed into a chair with a groan. I dont know whats wrong with me.
This is all you ever wanted, Josie said to her gently. She stretched out her hand across the tabletop and Beth grabbed it. Youve got it alla great husband, a beautiful house, healthy kids. You belong somewhere, Beth. Youve got a wonderful life. There are a million women who would kill to have what you have.
Beth sniffled.
Besides, if its so horrible, why are you always on me for not being married with kids?
Beth removed her hand from Josies and wiped her eyes. Because youre thirty-five and the only man in your life is a eunuch who eats underwear.
And?
Its time to stop looking and start finding.
Josie laughed. She wanted to say something about Rick but she knew her sister wouldnt appreciate all that had happened with Mrs. Needleman, or the list. A person had to be somewhat whimsical to grasp the importance of those details. Beth wasnt that person. So youre telling me to settle?