‘Because normally you know better than to criticize an art director’s vision,’ she said.
I pointed out to her that the media is notorious for infantilizing women in their images of us, and asked if it didn’t bother her, as a feminist, that she was partly contributing to that.
She looked at me and went, ‘Are you taking any kind of medication for your head injury? Because if so they need to up the dosage.’
I could sort of see her point. I mean, if I didn’t do the pose, they’d just hire some other model to do it.
Still, it was totally embarrassing having to smush my boobs up against Brandon like that. Not that he seemed to mind…
That was the problem. My embarrassment aside, I didn’t mind much either.
And I think Brandon started to get over his being mad at me about the whole riding-on-the-back-of-Gabriel-Luna’s-Vespa thing, because after about half an hour of my smushing my boobs into his back, he whispered, ‘Hey What are you doing after this?’
I was caught totally caught off guard, and asked, ‘Who? Me?’
‘No,’ Brandon said very sarcastically. ‘I’m talking to Pete, the lighting guy. Of course you.’
‘Oh,’ I said. ‘I don’t know. I guess I’m just going back to the loft. Why?’
‘Cool,’ Brandon said. ‘Maybe I’ll stop by.’
I felt myself starting to blush. I didn’t know a whole lot about guys, but I knew what Maybe I’ll stop by meant. Or at least, I was pretty sure I did. Considering where my boobs were.
I had a good idea where they’d be later too. I was positive I wasn’t going to be able to stop them from being there. Not if I knew Nikki. Or at least, how she got when guys started kissing her. They tossed the word wanton around a lot in those romance novels Frida — and, OK, I have to admit, I — liked to read.
Well, wanton pretty much summed up how Nikki got whenever a guy stuck his tongue in her mouth.
OK. My mouth.
But what about Christopher? I mean, he was the one I really loved, and I’d never even once managed to get within kissing distance of him…
Oh God. This was all so confusing.
I tried to think up some excuse as to why Brandon shouldn’t stop by the loft later, and finally seized upon a perfect one.
‘The thing is,’ I whispered, ‘I’m going to bed early. I’ve got school in the morning.’
Brandon made a face — until Gwen, the photographer, asked him to please stop. ‘School? You’re kidding me, right?’
‘No,’ I said. ‘Tribeca Alternative High School. My first day. I want to be nice and well rested. And, well, you know. What with the accident, and all—’
‘I thought the school thing was just a PR stunt,’ Brandon said.
I jerked my boobs off him in shock. ‘A PR stunt? Who said that?’
‘Nikki,’ Gwen called, ‘don’t move, please! Pete’s just adjusting the lighting —’
‘Well,’ Brandon said, ‘that’s what people are saying—’
‘Education is necessary for anyone to grow as an individual,’ I said.
‘I’m going to school so I can go to college some day, not as a PR stunt.’ And not just so I can check up on my best friend, who I happen to be crushing on, and make sure he hasn’t found some other girl, either.
‘Kelly!’ Gwen yelled.
‘Nikki,’ Kelly called to me, ‘could you get back in your place, please?’
I got back in my place, draped over Brandon’s back. But I wasn’t happy about it. People were saying Nikki Howard was going to high school as a PR stunt? That was terrible! And so untrue! I could see I needed to speak to Brandon’s father, now more than ever. He couldn’t keep the truth about what had really happened to Nikki to himself now. He just couldn’t. It wasn’t fair.
But it was really hard to get Mr Stark’s attention, because every time he wasn’t posing for the cameras, he was on his (non-Stark-brand) cellphone yelling at someone, or telling one of the many people in the room to get him someone else’s phone number, or an espresso. Finally, after what seemed like another five hours — my feet were throbbing, and my mouth muscles twitching from smiling so much — Raoul said, ‘That’s a wrap, people! You can all go home!’
And Mr Stark said, ‘Thank God,’ and started taking out his cufflinks. I was sitting right on the desk in front of him, so I just went, ‘Mr Stark? Can I talk to you a minute?’
And he looked down at me, and went, ‘No.’
Seriously! Just like that!
But I’m not a straight-A student — and haven’t gotten to level fortyfive in Journeyquest — for nothing. I mean, I’m no quitter.
And not even a billionaire corporate executive who also runs an underground brain-transplant clinic is going to thwart me.
‘It’s just… ’ I said in a low voice as everyone around us was gathering up power cords and taking down the blackout curtains. ‘Don’t you think what you’re doing is wrong? I mean, about Nikki.’
He looked right at me. His eyes, I noticed, were brown, with tiny ruby glints in them. Or maybe that was just the way they looked in the klieg lights, which were being turned off, one by one.
‘Don’t get me wrong,’ I went on quickly. ‘I’m totally grateful for what Doctor Holcombe did for me. And I am totally willing to go through with my end of the contract. But don’t you think Nikki’s friends — her family — deserve to know the truth? So they can mourn her properly? I mean, some people even think she was in rehab last month. How unfair is that? I’m sure once they understand your issue with the whole thing, they’ll get it. It’s just that you can’t go around replacing one person with a completely different one, you know. It’s not right. I know Nikki might have been a model and all, but that doesn’t mean she didn’t have a unique personality and people who loved her. And, I’m not sure you’re aware of this, but someone loaded that computer you gave her with keystroke-tracking software—’
‘JESSICA!’ Mr Stark startled me by yelling.
One of the ponytailed girls in the fancy glasses came scurrying up. ‘Yes, sir?’
‘Jessica, get my coat. Is my reservation at Per Se all set?’
‘Yes, sir,’ Jessica said, trailing after her boss as he strode away from me. ‘And your car’s waiting downstairs —’
It was only then that I realized: Robert Stark was walking away from me! He was just walking away from me, as if I hadn’t said anything! As if I was just… not even there! As if I was just… just…
An airhead model.
‘But — Mr Stark!’ I called after him.
But Robert Stark just kept going, walking out of his office without so much as a second glance at me. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe how he’d just walked away like that. The one person I thought could help me — or not even me so much as Nikki — and he’d just completely ignored me, as if I was a fly. Or a busboy.
Or a girl.
‘Don’t even bother,’ a deep voice behind me advised.
I turned around and found myself looking up at Brandon. Brandon was staring after his father with a look I can only describe as… well. Not very friendly.
‘He doesn’t speak to the talent,’ Brandon informed me.
I stared at him in confusion. ‘The talent? You mean… ’
Me. I’m the talent.
‘Or to me,’ Brandon added bitterly, ‘if he can help it. He’s much too busy and important.’
‘But.’ I shook my head, not sure I understood. ‘He’s your dad. Of course he can’t be too busy for you.’
Brandon gave me a strange look. Then he said, ‘You really do have amnesia, don’t you?’
And with that, he turned around and walked away before I could say another word.
I was on my way back to the changing area to slip into my own clothes, when I ran into Rebecca and Kelly.
‘Darling, you were fabulous!’ Rebecca cried.
‘I wasn’t,’ I said to her. My neck still throbbed from the way Raoul had made me arch it. ‘I didn’t know what I was doing. And Mr Stark hates me.’ Although, truthfully, I wasn’t sure that was such a bad thing…