“The words of his God are more powerful.”
“You do not seem saddened or worried.”
“I believe in what he says, my Queen.” My wrists were free at last. With that declaration, I made it known that my love for my God was stronger than my love for the throne.
Tiye glared. “Do you really believe in the Sole Creator?”
“Yes, my Queen.”
“You renounce the deities of Egypt?”
“God is one and has no partner,” I replied.
“Do you believe that other people have the right to worship their gods?”
“My God is not a threat to anyone.”
“But one day your husband will be king, and he must serve all the deities.”
“We serve no other but the One and Only.”
“Your rebellion,” she cried, “shall have the gravest repercussions.”
“God will never forsake us.”
“You promised me your unconditional loyalty,” she said bitterly.
“You are my queen. But God is above all else.”
I returned to my quarters with a heavy heart and tearful eyes. I did not know what destiny held in store for me. Yet I felt at peace. Soon the prince was ordered to tour the empire. I felt that Tiye had begun her punishment. She meant to deprive me of my husband when I was going to deliver my child at any moment. When Akhenaten left, I was gripped by new emotions. The light of life had gone; even the sun had only darkness. I was choked with fear. Nothing could compensate for my husband's absence, not even having my stepmother, Tey, by my side. I was enshrouded in sorrow. I missed Akhenaten wherever I was and at every hour of the day. I could not believe that he had occupied so much of my life. I realized that, without him, I was not happy. It was then that I became aware that I loved him, not only as my spiritual companion, but as husband and lover. Bitter tears seared my face. I regretted my ignorance and my blindness. I longed for him to return so that I could throw myself at his feet.
Queen Tiye and I went into labor at the same time. I had Meretaten, and the queen bore twins, Smenkhkare and Tutankhamun. When I found out that I had given birth to a girl I was overcome with grief. I heard the whispers of the harem saying that it was the curse of the priests of Amun. They said I would never bear a son as long as I lived.
Around that time, King Amenhotep III married Tadukhipa, the daughter of Tushratta, king of Mitanni, to reinforce the ties of friendship between Egypt and Mitanni. Tadukhipa's beauty was renowned. She entered Thebes in a magnificient procession with three hundred slaves. Tey tried to entertain me by talking about the new princess in the palace. She spoke to me of her wealth and beauty, but added at the end that, of course, no sun shone more brightly than mine. King Amenhotep III adored Tadukhipa, his new bride who was the age of his grandchildren. But the king was not able to savor his newfound happiness for long. For word arrived that the crown prince was preaching his religion throughout the provinces. I was summoned to appear before the king and queen. I did not expect to see the king so frail, but it seemed that he had exhausted himself in the pleasures of life.
“He is mad,” the king cried viciously.
“We can send the armed forces to the provinces to correct the damage that has been done,” Tiye said.
“He has lost the succession to the throne. Nothing we do will help him regain it.”
“Perhaps he will succeed. Perhaps they will heed his words,” I said after a moment's hesitation.
“You are foolish, Nefertiti,” the king shouted. “Just like your husband.”
“You could have tried to make him more reasonable,” Tiye added. “Instead you joined him in his nonsense.”
“How can I achieve what you have failed to do, my Queen?” I replied, trying to control my anger.
“You deliberately encourage him,” she said accusingly.
“When he returns,” Amenhotep interrupted with a wave of his hand, “I will have him choose between the throne and his religion.”
My sadness grew. The morning after I met with the king and queen, Tiye woke me up and whispered, “The king is dead, Queen Nefertiti.”
My heart was heavy with grief. I wondered if before he died King Amenhotep III had carried out his threat. Would Tiye sacrifice her beloved son? One time, when she was overseeing the mummification of her husband, she called me and said, “I want you to know that the priests requested that I appoint Smenkhkare or Tutankhamun king and that I should be regent.”
I feared what Tiye would say next. “Your decision shall be the wisest, and I will embrace it regardless,” I replied.
“Are you speaking the truth?” she asked.
“What else do I have but the truth?” I replied desperately.
“I denied them their request. My love for my son was greater than my wisdom.”
I felt as though I had just begun to breathe. I was speechless.
“Are you happy?”
“Yes, my Queen,” I replied earnestly. “I abhor lying.”
“Do you promise me to defend the traditions?”
“I cannot promise that.”
“You deserve to be punished,” she said. “But I also admire you. You and Akhenaten have chosen your path, so walk it. It is what the gods charted.”
I returned to my quarters elated. I showered Meretaten with kisses. Then my beloved returned from his journey. I hurried to him and threw my arms around him.
“At last your love has come, Nefertiti,” he said calmly.
I was startled and said, “I loved you even before I laid eyes on you.”
“But only now, you love me as your husband.” I was stunned by his ability to discern the secrets of the heart.
After the burial of Amenhotep III, Akhenaten came to me with tearful eyes. “Death frightens me,” he said. “I did not love my father as I should have.” We ascended the throne surrounded by hostility and apprehension. Akhenaten called upon his men to join his religion. They declared their faith willingly. It never occurred to me to doubt their faith, until much later when they all abandoned him to save themselves. Except for Meri-Ra, the high priest of the One God. I believe that Akhenaten knew that they were not sincere. But he believed that love was the cure for all ills. He thought that in time their faith would grow deeper with love, and that they would believe in him. He waited patiently for their faith, as he had once waited for my love. But they were not deserving. Some of them even harbored a secret desire to claim the throne after him-Haremhab, and even my father, Ay. Do not think that my bitterness has led me to fabricate this. I do not rely on mere impressions either. I learned these facts from conversations I had with the men during the last days of Akhetaten. I was pleased that the priests decided to entrust the throne to Tutankhamun instead. I believe the others still dwell on their old dream.
Despite the hostility that surrounded us when we first took the throne, Akhenaten and I were extremely happy. Meretaten was beginning to crawl, and a new life was growing inside me. Akhenaten had no other partner but me. He inherited his father's harem, with the beautiful Mitannian woman, but he abstained from visiting it. Then Queen Tiye came and I expected no good from her visit.
“Akhenaten,” she started, close enough that I could hear her, “you are king now. You must not neglect your harem.”
“I have but one love, just as I have one God,” he laughed.
“But you must be fair. Do not forget that Tadukhipa is in your harem. She deserves to be treated well, if only for her father Tushratta's sake.” Tiye glanced at me and noticed my irritation. She continued, “Nefertiti has proven to be a wise queen. Perhaps she will agree with me about your harem.”
I remained silent, trying not to reveal that I was upset. Tiye continued to talk about the duties of a queen.
I became curious about the harem, particularly Tadukhipa. I visited them, saying merely that I wanted to make their acquaintance. Tadukhipa was indeed beautiful, but my self-confidence was not shaken. We exchanged a few words, and parted enemies.