If you close your eyes, you’d swear you were listening to Shirley on the radio. Open them and Buddy almost looks like her too. It’s a little creepy.
“Look, even Molly likes it.” Annie points to Willy One Arm, who is standing in the back, Molly on his shoulder, her keen pink eyes on Buddy while Willy strokes her ratty fur.
I look back at Piper. Scout is right next to her. They are busy whispering to each other.
Buddy catches me watching them. “Moose, you take your friend Scout and run along.” He smiles. “We just need a few more minutes, then we’ll have your Annie back to you.”
Buddy has such a nice way of making me feel comfortable in my own skin. It’s as if I’m doing something right every time I see him. He winks at Annie, like they share their own secret.
“He’s good, isn’t he? Gonna be in vaudeville when he gets out, right, Buddy?” Annie’s eyes are bright and completely focused on Buddy.
He can’t be a convicted felon. He just can’t.
Buddy nods. “You betcha. Got me an agent all lined up. This time next year, you’re gonna see my name in lights. Now you go on.” He motions to me. “The ladies have more work to do.”
Scout and I discuss Buddy as we walk down to the parade grounds. “They let him out to audition?” Scout asks.
“No,” I say.
“How’d he get an agent then?”
“Beats me. Hey look here, Scout.” He walks so fast I can hardly keep up with him. “Do you have to be so chummy with Piper?”
“Chummy?” He stops on the road, watching a big tanker out in the bay. His eyes are back on me now. “I know a little more about the dolls than you do… So, I’m gonna give you some tips.” He puts both his hands up in a stop motion. “Don’t thank me, okay? It’s just what I do for my buddies. But first I need to know… you kiss her yet?”
“Shut up, okay?” I tell him. “What makes you think you know so much about girls anyway?”
He rocks his head from side to side like his nose is a pendulum looking for center. “I just do. First thing, don’t be going straight for the lips. It’s like when you’re pitching, you don’t want to go straight over home plate but a little to the side to keep ’ em guessing. Start with the cheek and then kind of mosey your lips over till… bingo!” He taps his lips. “You hit the target.
“Tip two: Watch your nose. Nothin’ like a nose smashup to ruin the mood, could even lose you the whole ball of wax. Noses stick out, see, more than lips, so an angle shot is the only way to go.” He cocks his head to demonstrate.
Scout holds one finger up. “I’m giving you the best I have here, buddy, I hope you appreciate this.” He points to his neck. “Little-known fact. Weak point of every doll in America, a little smackeroo there, you’ll have ’em eating out of your hand.”
“Look, Scout, let’s put it this way.” I get my face right up close to his. “You kiss Piper and I don’t care if you’re my best friend-”
“Hey now, don’t get yourself all worked up about that. I know Piper’s your puppy. But you gotta get a girl warmed up, you know.” He points to his chest. “I’m the fella for that job. You betcha.”
I sigh, all the resistance drained out of me. “I dunno. She’s pretty mad at me. Did you see her?”
“That’s because she likes you. That’s the way the pretty ones are, Moose. They get mad for all kinds of reasons you can’t figure out, so don’t be wasting your time trying.” He taps his finger to his lips. “That’s how you solve it right there.” Scout nods like he’s seen this all before.
“Really? You think I should kiss her?”
He sighs as if I’m a sorry specimen of mankind. “What do you think I’ve been telling you for the last five minutes? Now come on… let’s play.” He bounces forward down the hill to the parade grounds to wait for Annie, who shows up a few minutes later.
“Piper’s sore at you,” Annie reports, slipping on her glove.
“She’s always sore,” I say.
“I mean really sore. She heard about the roses.”
“How’d she find out?” I ask.
Annie shrugs. “How’s she find out anything?”
“There’s no reason for her to be mad about it anyways,” I tell her.
Annie knocks on my skull. “Anybody home in there? You’re supposed to be her boyfriend, and you didn’t even get her a rose.”
“Buddy, buddy, buddy.” Scout shakes his head. “You didn’t get her a rose?”
“I’m not her boyfriend,” I insist.
“Yeah well.” Annie seems to be enjoying this. “Not now you’re not. Jimmy’s mad at you too, you know.”
“He sure is. Anybody could see that,” Scout agrees.
“The trouble is-” Annie’s eyes nail me. “You can’t stand playing baseball with anyone who isn’t as good as you.”
“That’s not true,” I say. “I’ve never said a word about the way Jimmy plays.”
“You don’t have to,” Annie tells me. “One look at your face says it all.”
“It does not.”
“Does too.”
“I play with you and you’re not better than I am.” I get right up close to say this.
“Bets?”
“Yeah, bets. Double bets. Triple bets.”
“If I were a gambling man,” Scout hoots, “I’d put my money on Annie.”
“Will you shut up?” I tell him as the sun dips behind a cloud and the parade grounds get dark. The gulls seem to react to this. They begin squawking as if to complain that someone turned the lights off.
There aren’t enough players for a real game. So Annie pitches and Scout and I take turns at bat. Every time I get up there I hit so hard, I smack the ball to smithereens. I could take on the Babe today.
“What got into Moose?” Scout asks Annie.
“You just tell him he’s lousy,” Annie informs Scout, “and he gets like that.” She laughs.
“Gonna remember that next time we need a homer,” Scout says.
“Yeah,” Annie replies, “he’s kind of fun that way.”
“Shut up, Annie,” I say, but now Scout is laughing too. “And stop ganging up on me,” I tell them both.
“Poor Humpty Dumpty,” Annie says, throwing me one of her best pitches ever, and now I’m so mad I swing the bat so hard I miss.
“Better go easy on him,” Scout tells her. “Or he’ll fall off the wall.”
18. KISSING A DEAD SQUID
Same day-Tuesday, August 27, 1935
After Scout leaves, I drop my bat and ball at my house and head for the secret passageway, which I guess needs a new name now that it isn’t secret anymore. I’m still mad at Jimmy for telling Scout about this. I don’t understand why he did it. Why should I be punished for what Scout said? And the way Jimmy acted, it was like he was sure I’d tell Scout so he decided to do it first. What gave Jimmy the idea I had a big mouth? Just because I’m friends with Scout doesn’t mean I’m not Jimmy’s friend.
I don’t have a screwdriver, but Jimmy didn’t put the screws back securely, so I jiggle them out with my bare fingers. Inside the dusty space I crawl all the way until I am under Mrs. Caconi’s apartment. My plan is to sit here and just think about all of this, but a minute later the door opens and a flash of light flickers at the other end. The door bangs shut. The passageway goes dark again.
My stomach tightens. The hairs on my arm stand up. Just because there are convicts on this island doesn’t mean they’ll be under here. The only con that might have access is Seven Fingers.
This does not make me feel better.
It’s just Jimmy fooling on me, right? But the steady thumping of hands and knees and a metal clicking are coming my way.