Gavin’s shoulders slumped, and I knew that he agreed with me.
“I’m convinced that she thinks we secretly like each other, which is so stupid because anyone with eyes can see how much I love that irritable arsehole in the bedroom.”
“You’re so sweet, baby.”
“Bite me!”
“I will later.”
I scowled as I refocused on a now amused Gavin.
“Look,” he said, straightening up. “I’m goin’ to ‘er apartment to talk about this once and for all because I want you two to be friends before me kid is born.”
I didn’t move.
“I’ll be ‘ere if she wants to talk to me,” I said. “I look like the back end of a dog, so I’m not leavin’ this apartment.”
Gavin frowned. “Bear, ye’ don’t—”
“Don’t waste your breath,” Damien called from the bedroom. “She’ll insult you if you compliment her or be nice in any way possible. Trust me, buddy.”
I glared over my shoulder but said nothing as I turned back to face Gavin, who was silently chuckling.
“I’ll be back later.”
I pushed away from the wall. “Don’t be surprised if Kalin gives you hell over this.”
Gavin left my apartment seeming very determined while I headed into the bathroom and took a long, hot shower. I was just about finished when I felt a cold breeze touch my skin before it was replaced with strong hands. I closed my eyes when Damien’s naked body pressed against me, and his lips found their way to my neck. I felt how hard he was, but he didn’t touch me in a way that showed he was in any hurry to take me, which surprised me. We hadn’t had sex since I got hurt, and I didn’t blame him for not touching me.
I had been a massive bitch.
“I’m sorry,” I said, lowering my head. “I’m so sorry for bein’ rude to you.”
I felt Damien’s nose rub against my neck.
“Everyone must think I’m a bitch,” I continued before I lifted my hands to my face. “I feel horrible.”
“Baby,” Damien said, his voice gruff. “Everyone knows you were physically hurting, and that it messed with your mood. We all know you aren’t a mean person, trust me.”
I leaned my head back against his chest. I was physically hurting, but it was my nightmares that had me sleep deprived. They hadn’t gone away. I closed my eyes, and tears fell before I could stop them. I sniffled, and Damien sighed as he turned me to face him.
“Don’t cry, freckles,” he said. “No one is mad at you.”
“It’s not that,” I said, swallowing.
Damien pushed my wet hair out of my face.
“Then what is it?”
I stared up at him. “I don’t want to worry ye’.”
He tensed. “Tell me. Now.”
I had to tell him. Keeping my thoughts to myself was eating me up inside.
“I’m havin’ nightmares,” I whispered. “About Morgan.”
Damien’s eyes widened ever so slightly. He didn’t say a word as he reached over my shoulder, turned off the shower, and hustled us out of it. He wrapped a towel around his hips and grabbed a large one to wrap around me. He led me out of the room and into our bedroom. We both sat on the end of our bed and stared at each other.
“How long?”
I didn’t play dumb. “The last few weeks,” I answered.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, and I heard the hurt in his voice.
“Because.” I wiped under my nose. “I didn’t want to worry ye’.”
“Alannah,” Damien scowled. “We’re a couple … partners. We deal with issues together, never apart.”
I bobbed my head. “I know, and I’m so sorry. I just … I didn’t want ye’ to think about ‘im.”
“I always think about him, about my past, but that shouldn’t stop you from talking to me.”
“I’m sorry,” I repeated. “I thought I was doin’ the right thing, but I wasn’t. These nightmares are killin’ me.”
“Tell me about them.”
I exhaled a deep breath.
“He always has you and your brothers tied up, and either hurts you badly or kills ye’, but lately …”
“Lately what?”
“Lately, he’s been slittin’ me throat, and that is when I wake up.”
Damien looked a mixture of furious and terrified.
“He always tells me that he is in me head, which is what he planned all along. He tells me I don’t really love ye’ or want a marriage and a family with you because ye’ could die and leave me, our kids could die and leave me. He says a lot of horrible things.”
Damien frowned. “Is … is that why you keep saying no when I propose?”
My shoulders slumped.
“Maybe. When I think about our future, I am absolutely terrified of you not bein’ in it, so maybe Morgan is affectin’ me. The bastard really did get into me head, just like he said he would.”
Damien reached out and pulled me onto his lap.
“We’ve talked about this,” he said. “You can’t fear the future. None of us know what will happen.”
“I know.” I nodded. “I just love ye’ so much that—”
“Baby, I know you love me,” Damien cut me off. “And now I know why you’ve been so resistant and scared whenever we talk about our future. You want our future. You’re just scared of it being anything less than perfect.”
“Yes,” I whispered.
He kissed the side of my head. “Morgan … Carter is gone. I know I’ve struggled with him for a long time since he was here, but I’m not going to worry about him anymore, okay? I’m leaving him in my past just like he is leaving me in his.”
My heart swelled. “Damien, I want that too.”
“Look at me.”
I did.
“We’re both leaving him in our past,” he said, firmly. “He has no power over us. He is nothing. Do you hear me? Nothing.”
“Nothin’,” I repeated. “Morgan is nothin’.”
When I spoke the words and felt Damien wrap me in his embrace, I felt lighter than I had in a long time. I realised what was happening. I was letting Morgan go and leaving everything to do with him in my past. In our past. I was free of him, and he would never mess with my head ever again. I wrapped my arms around Damien and squeezed him tightly. When I pressed my face into his shoulder, I forgot about my bruises and winced. When I pulled back, Damien leaned in and placed a kiss under my eye.
“Does it still look ugly?”
“So ugly.” He nodded with a grin on his face. “It’s such a chore to date you, the ugliest woman in the whole world.”
When I laughed, I saw Damien’s eyes light up.
“I love your laugh,” he said. “It’s such a happy sound, baby.”
I rested my forehead against his. “You make me so happy.”
“I know,” he mused. “I’m perfect.”
When I laughed again, he leaned us back onto the bed, rolled me under him, and spent the next hour loving my body until I thought my soul might leave it. When we finally left our bed, we both got dressed, and I dried the remaining damp sections of my hair before tying it up into a bun on top of my head. I put on my work clothes, kissed Damien long and hard—or as hard as my healing mouth would allow—then went into my studio. Damien started calling it a studio instead of an office as of late, and I’ve adapted it. Saying office reminded me of when he worked with me, and since I was leaving him in my past, I left my office there too.
“When the doorbell rang an hour later, I shouted, “Dame, can ye’ get that?”
“Sure.”
If it was Dante stopping by to annoy Damien, I was going to kill him.
“Baby, it’s Gavin and Kalin.”
I paused. I had completely forgotten about Gavin. I turned when Kalin entered my studio, and I wanted to snort when Damien and Gavin hovered by the door as if we were just going to attack each other.