‘No, not unless she throws something at us,’ Snowball replied.
‘Oh my, she won’t do that, will she?’ Nellie asked.
‘Of course not.’ I crossed my paws, I really wouldn’t put it past her.
I hid them away at the back of the hall and as I noticed people packing up, I went to find George.
‘No one checked the lock. You’d think after last time … but no. Tomasz and Polly are the worst when it comes to security,’ he said. He was right. Polly and Tomasz were busy laughing and joking rather than checking the doors. If only Franceska hadn’t left early to go and do some work, she would have made sure we were secure.
After a while the hall was in darkness and we cats were there alone. I felt adrenaline pumping through my body. Tonight was going to be it, I could feel it in my fur.
‘This is a bit spooky,’ Oliver said.
‘Ah, reminds me of the good old days,’ Elvis said.
‘What on earth do you mean?’ Nellie asked.
‘You know, when people went to the theatre regularly.’ That made absolutely no sense, but Elvis did sometimes come out with random things, so we just ignored it.
‘Right, so now we just wait, employ stealth, and be quiet,’ Salmon said.
‘What does that even mean?’ Rocky asked.
‘It means when we hear the door open, and I am pretty sure we will, we stay quiet. We have to catch her in the act,’ I commanded.
‘No repeat of the other night, lad,’ Salmon said to George.
‘Of course not, Pickles isn’t with us and I do know how to behave,’ George grumbled.
‘He isn’t, is he?’ I asked, paranoid.
‘No Alfie,’ Snowball reassured me.
‘Phew, I think my nerves are getting the best of me.’
‘Right, well, I think we all know what we need to do,’ Salmon said, trying to sound in control.
‘You mean nothing,’ Nellie said.
‘Well, nothing for now,’ he replied. Honestly what kind of army were we?
We all did our own thing. I fretted and Snowball tried to reassure me. Elvis explored and George showed him around, giving him a guided tour. Salmon sat upright and alert, as if ready for anything. Nellie and Oliver were climbing on some chairs and Rocky had closed his eyes. I repeat, what kind of army were we?
‘Um,’ I cleared my voice. ‘This is not a holiday camp, it’s serious business.’ They all looked at me and carried on with what they were doing.
It felt like we had been there for hours. I was about to ask Salmon if we should give up and leave out of the unlocked back door– we could push it with all of us and get out easily – but then we heard a noise.
‘Listen,’ I said, and everyone crowded round. We could hear footsteps and I saw a light from a torch appear. There was a dark figure, and though I couldn’t see clearly who it was, I assumed it was Barbara. She made her way towards the stage. As she got closer I saw that it was definitely her.She was wearing all black, carrying a torch in one hand and something else in the other, I couldn’t make out what.
‘Right, prepare for action,’ Salmon said. I had told him he could give the commands. We watched as she got onto the stage and muttered some words I couldn’t make out. Then she knocked over one of the Christmas trees. As it made a loud crash, I looked at Salmon and blinked. ‘We are a go, I repeat, we are a go,’ he said.
The new few minutes were pandemonium. George and I ran for the stage from the centre, Salmon, Snowball, and Oliver went left, and Rocky, Nellie, and Elvis right. It was a good strategy; though she tried to chase us, we were all running in different directions, which confused her. She then pulled out a can, and before I knew what she was doing she had pointed it at George.
‘George, watch out,’ I hissed, but it was too late as his tail and backside were sprayed bright red. She was obviously planning on doing the same to the trees. She was spraying at us but the paint was hitting the stage, making even more mess. Nellie tried to scratch at Barbara’s leg, but she managed to throw her off, however, she did drop the can. Thankfully, Nellie was quicker than her as she ran around in a circle, confusing Barbara, whose arms were flailing around. She spun around and around, making herself dizzy and increasingly unsteady as she tried, and failed, to chase us.
‘You awful cats, I will get you and you’ll be sorry,’ she shouted, but she wobbled as she tried to grab Snowball and missed, almost falling over her own feet.
We ran around some more with Barbara chasing us, but finally Salmon and Snowball launched themselves under her feet. I watched in horror in case my beloved was in trouble, but Barbara lost her footing, wobbling backwards, arms swinging to try to steady herself as she fell into the trees. It was as if it was all in slow motion as she went backwards, landing on the stage with a number of the trees falling on top of her.
‘Ahhhhh,’ she screamed, and then as she lay still all went quiet.
‘Oh my goodness, do you think she’s dead?’ Nellie asked as we all crowded around, pretty much unable to see her.
‘Of course she’s not,’ Salmon said. Although how he knew, I wasn’t sure. The trees were quite light, I reasoned, so it wasn’t likely that she was.
‘I’ve got a bright red tail,’ George lamented, spinning around as he tried to see it. ‘How am I meant to be a sheep with a bright red tail?’ he asked.
‘Shush, what are we going to do about her?’ I asked.
‘We’ll have to get a human,’ Snowball said.
‘She might be badly hurt,’ Elvis said. ‘I’ve seen it on TV, my owners like hospital drama so I’m something of an expert.’
‘Who would be the best grown-up to alert?’ Salmon asked.
‘It depends on how late it is. Quick, let’s go to our road and see who is still up.’
We all left, pushing the back door with all our might and squeezing out one at a time until Rocky, the last of us, made it out. I had been slightly worried about that part of the plan. As we made our way home, hearts still hammering, I was pretty exhausted but pleased that we had a) made it out in one piece, b) would now have Barbara banged to rights, and c) our only casualty was George’s red tail. I was so proud of all my friends and how brilliant they had all been. I felt a little bit proud of myself, too.
‘You were all so brave tonight,’ I said.
‘But I hope she isn’t really hurt,’ Nellie said.
‘My tail,’ George repeated.
‘We don’t want her to be hurt,’ Snowball said. ‘Just stopped.’ I knew it wasn’t our fault, she fell into the trees, but I agreed, we didn’t want her to be hurt. But we did want to stop her, and it looked as if we may have succeeded in that.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
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Iled the gang back to ours, to see if we could find a human to help us.
‘Hey I can see a light on our front step,’ I said. There were a lot of Christmas lights outside our house though, so I wasn’t sure that anyone was there until we got closer. Thankfully, we struck gold. ‘Right, we go as a gang, and they’ll have to take notice of us.’ I led my army up to our front door, where Jonathan was stood, talking to Matt.
‘What on earth?’ Matt said as he saw us. On cue we all started making an almighty noise, prancing around and making a general fuss.
‘Oh God, not this again … Is George’s tail red?’ Jonathan asked. We made our way to the front gate.
‘What are they trying to tell us this time?’ Matt asked. We all started making noise again.
‘OK, I’ll get my shoes.’ Jonathan went into the house, leaving Matt staring at us, confusion in his eyes. As Jonathan came out and shut the front door, we saw the Goodwins’ door open.
‘What is going on?’ Vic asked as he strode across to us, Heather trotting behind him trying to catch up. ‘Salmon, what are you doing?’
‘Meow,’ Salmon said.
‘No idea,’ Jonathan said. ‘They are all here screeching away, so I think we need to follow them.’