‘I’ll buy them pilchards tomorrow, after we’ve confronted Barbara,’ Claire said, and my tummy rumbled with anticipation. ‘But first, George, we need to bath you and try to get the red paint off.’
‘Meow.’ George was a little strange as he didn’t mind water and baths. Not very cat-like, if you ask me, but then I often said that it takes all sorts.
I rested in my basket as George got bathed, thankful it wasn’t me. I really disliked baths and when I had taken them in my past I had found them really quite unpleasant. But poor George needed it as he did look funny with a red tail and backside. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
I was so tired but also feeling victorious when George emerged from the bath. He was pretty much his usual colour, although there was a bit of a pink tinge still on his tail.
‘It wasn’t easy to wash my tail,’ he explained. ‘Claire tried to be gentle but it wasn’t the most fun bath ever.’
‘Sorry, son, but thankfully a bit of red paint was the only casualty of the evening.’
‘What about Salmon’s camera collar though; whoever heard of such a thing?’
‘I hadn’t, but in this case it was lucky we had it. I thought Barbara would still be under those trees when we went back with the humans.’
‘Me too, I don’t know how she got out.’ George looked pensive. ‘I hope that they don’t get ideas and give us cameras, I like my privacy.’
‘I was thinking the same. But Salmon will probably like it. It’ll give him even more power on the street,’ I said.
‘How come?’ George asked.
‘Well, if he comes to see us and he’s wearing it, we’ll all have to be on our best behaviour,’ I pointed out.
‘Not to mention looking our best,’ George finished. I hadn’t even thought of that, but then I pride myself in looking my best at all times.
‘Anyway, I am going to go with Claire, and Vic and Heather, when they confront Barbara, are you coming?’
‘I’d love to, Dad, but I have to go and see Hana first thing – I promised I would – so I might not be back in time. To be honest, I’m just glad we exposed her and didn’t get hurt. Apart from my tail, of course.’
‘That was just a bit of paint, George.’
‘Yes, but I was the only one affected, so I think that makes me the hero of the night.’
I decided not to mention the fact that I had masterminded most of the plan, rallied the troops and it was actually Salmon and Snowball who got Barbara to trip over. I also didn’t mention that Salmon’s camera was possibly the actual hero of the night …
‘George, you are always my hero,’ I said instead, and nuzzled my boy.
I was so excited to go to confront Barbara, and waited patiently the following morning until Claire grabbed her coat and said it was time to go. We had Pickles so he went with her, and if Claire was surprised when I followed her out she didn’t show it.
It was quiet as we left our house, and I could see that another frost had settled in overnight. We went to collect Vic and Heather, and of course Salmon. After our eventful night I expected all the other cats would be having a bit of a lie-in this morning. They deserved it.
Salmon and I raised whiskers at each other and hung back from the humans.
‘Sorry, I didn’t know about the camera. They just said it was a new collar,’ he said.
‘Hey, no, don’t apologise. As much as I’d like to take the credit, it was actually Vic and Heather who basically won the day with that collar,’ I grinned.
‘Yes, but now they can watch my every move. I’m glad I had it on the one paw, but on the other, I think that when I do anything – just going about my normal business – I’m going to be so self-conscious.’
‘I know, I was thinking the same about having one. Maybe we can find a way to get rid of it?’
‘Another one of your plans coming up, Alfie?’
‘You know it.’ I grinned again. I felt as if we had cemented our friendship over the last few days and I was proud of us both. How to get his collar off though … That would take a whole lot of new thinking. For now, we had to run to catch up with Claire, Vic, and Heather, because we had reached Barbara’s flat.
Some of the houses in Edgar Road had started hanging their Christmas decorations, which we were able to admire as we walked, but Barbara’s flat didn’t have any sparkly lights or bright tinsel hanging in the windows. Maybe she tried to ruin the show because she didn’t like Christmas?
They rang the doorbell and waited until Barbara answered. She wasn’t looking her best. She had a bruise on her cheek, and I could see some streaks of red paint in her hair.
‘Hello,’ she said with a smile, and I resisted the temptation to go and stamp on her foot. I know that wasn’t nice but she had shouted at us and chased us last night. Not to mention poor George’s tail.
‘Barbara, we have come to you with a very grave and serious matter,’ Vic said.
‘Very grave, indeed,’ Heather repeated.
‘What? What’s wrong?’ She ran her hand through her hair and … yes, definitely red paint.
‘It has come to our attention that for some reason you have been the person sabotaging the show,’ Vic said.
‘No, you must be mistaken, it certainly wasn’t me.’ She really was a good actress. There was no flicker of guilt in her eyes, no awkward gestures that people sometimes make when they’re lying.
‘I’m afraid we know it was you,’ Claire said. ‘We have no doubt at all, so it’s probably best that you admit it now.’
‘Why on earth do you think it was me?’ she asked, but her mask was beginning to slip.
‘The cats,’ Heather told her.
‘What do you mean the cats? You mean the cats told you it was me?’ She seemed to notice Salmon and I for the first time, and she didn’t look pleased to see us.
‘No, of course not. Cats can’t talk,’ Vic said. ‘But cat collar cameras can,’ he added.
‘I really have no idea what you’re talking about.’
‘Barbara,’ Claire sounded annoyed now. ‘You’re a grown woman. We saw the footage of you chasing the cats on the stage and then falling over the trees. Also, the spray paint. My George’s tail and bum were bright red. We have proof it was you.’
‘You mean there’s a camera on the cat?’ Her voice squeaked.
‘On Salmon, our cat, yes,’ Heather explained.
‘And we have no alternative but to make a citizen’s arrest. I hereby arrest you in the name of the—’
‘Please, don’t arrest me. I did damage some things but honestly, you can’t go to the police.’
‘And why on earth can’t we?’ Heather said. I was pretty sure she had some handcuffs in her handbag, ready and waiting.
‘Oh goodness, I am sorry. Really.’ Barbara had turned very pale but then I remembered she was an actress, so I wasn’t sure if she was putting on yet another act. ‘I mean it. I should explain. I’ve been in a rage since I moved here – and I didn’t know why I was angry all the time – and my daughter said to try to get involved with the locals and then I saw the poster for your show. I thought with my acting experience I could get involved, but I felt side-lined, pushed to a small part, and no one even asked for my help and advice, even after I told you all about my experience with amateur dramatics. So I felt my rage building and I wanted to ruin the show. I have no excuse, apart from perhaps feeling mad with grief, having lost my home and my friends because I had to move away. Plus I hardly ever see my daughter.’ She was babbling, talking so fast I could barely follow her words.
I saw Vic, Heather, and Claire exchange glances. Were they softening? Was I? I still wasn’t sure she was genuine.
‘While that is all very sad, you behaved in a totally unacceptable way,’ Vic said.