I was lying in my basket in the kitchen when George appeared. I told him of my plan.
‘I love the idea of the Christmas show but do you think if you shove the flyer in front of her she’ll get it?’
‘’Course, Claire’s clever.’ I began to have doubts, but still, I had nothing better.
‘Well, you said that Aleksy and Connie are coming over after tea to come up with ideas, wouldn’t it be better if you got them all to see it?’ George said. ‘Then it’s more likely that one of them might understand.’
‘Clever, just like your dad. Yes, of course, if they all see it someone will definitely get it. But how? I’ll have to pounce as soon as they come in.’
‘Or you could find a way to get the leaflet to them – you know, when they sit around the kitchen table,’ George suggested. He was examining his paws. I got the feeling that he was trying to teach this old cat new tricks.
‘But how? Pushing it all the way from here to the kitchen with my paw will be quite exhausting.’ I had done this before, but it wasn’t easy. You see we cats did have our limitations. ‘And how would I even pick it up?’ My mind was whirring, trying to figure out the logistics.
‘Can’t you try carrying it in your mouth the way Pickles carries his ball, or Dustbin carries a mouse?’
I considered it. I had once carried some of Polly’s best flowers in my mouth when trying to woo Snowball. That hadn’t gone well, but I had managed and for a lot further than the hall to the kitchen. It wasn’t the worst idea, I decided, but then …
‘How will I pick it up from the floor?’ I asked George. I felt as if I should have all the answers but I didn’t. My kitten, it seemed, did.
‘Slide your paw under it like this.’ He demonstrated. His paw lifted up a bit of the piece of paper, and he bent down and picked it up in his mouth.
‘I’d have figured it out eventually,’ I muttered.
‘’Course you would have, Dad,’ he said. ‘But I do have youth on my side.’
I tried not to take offence. I also tried to copy what he’d done, but it wasn’t anywhere near as easy as he made it look. I was getting frustrated and George was trying not to laugh at me. First the flyer kept sliding away from me, and then when I did manage to elevate it slightly I couldn’t grip with my mouth. I even managed to bang my head on thefloor, which hurt.
‘I just can’t seem to do it,’ I said.
‘Dad, you never give up. Look, I’ll talk you through it.’
After a bit more (annoying) coaching from George, I used my tongue and ta dah! I did it. The leaflet was a little bit soggy from all my attempts, and my head was a bit sore, but I felt confident that when the time came I would be able to do this again.
‘Teamwork,’ I said to George. Although I wasn’t sure that it was, actually. More of an old cat struggling to learn new tricks. But if it worked, it would be worth it, I kept having to tell myself that.
‘Teamwork, Dad,’ he replied. ‘And now I’m going to see if I can get a snack. Trying to teach you has made me very hungry. And after I’ve eaten, I’m going to see Harold.’ I lay down on top of the leaflet. I was exhausted, too tired to try to get to my basket, so I just shut my eyes.
I heard the door open, which woke me, and I sat up to see Claire come in alone.
‘Hi Alfie,’ she said. ‘Polly and Matt are taking the kids out for tea tonight, to give me a bit of a break, and also as a treat for them.’ She smiled. I could see sometimes that Claire got tired, and as she worked at home, she didn’t have much time to herself. Claire might be the only onewho didn’t have an official ‘job’ but she worked harder than anyone, as far as I could see.
‘Meow.’ You deserve it.
‘And Connie and Aleksy will be over soon to talk about their fundraiser. I hope they’ve come up with some ideas, because I have to admit I haven’t really got any. Goodness, there’s so much to do, but I really don’t want to let them down.’
‘Meow.’ Don’t worry, I had it all in paw.
My plan now ready, I stayed in the hall to wait for the right time. It felt like ages, but then I was impatient, so it probably wasn’t. I really wanted to get going with this, not only because I was a little nervous about making it work, but also because the more I thought about it the better it sounded to my ears. I shuffled around, unable to sit still, willing them to hurry up.
Eventually, the doorbell rang and I started to get ready. Aleksy and Connie walked in, gave me a quick fuss before following Claire into the kitchen. It was my cue. I managed to get the leaflet into my mouth on the third try– definite improvement – and I walked slowly to the kitchen with it in my mouth. I had to be careful not to drop it, and although it was a bit bigger than I would have liked and meant I could barely see over it, I finally made it. As I approached the table, I misjudged and banged into the tableleg, and I nearly dropped the leaflet, but managed to keep hold of it. My poor head would have two bumps on it, possibly.
‘So, you haven’t got any ideas?’ Claire was asking, as I turned myself and got ready to jump up.
‘No, we’ve been thinking and thinking. We don’t want to do anything sponsored, as that’s normal, and we want to get people involved. Our aim is to raise money so they can have a nice Christmas dinner and get some warm clothes and sleeping bags maybe … We need something good to raise enough money and get many people involved.’ Poor Aleksy sounded dejected.
‘Yes, we want everyone at the shelter to have proper treats at Christmas, to give them something to look forward to, or as much as they can when they’re homeless,’ Connie added. ‘Also, we thought we could help raise awareness at the same time.’
‘Of course, it’s such a lovely idea. I feel terrible that I haven’t got a good idea for you, but I’ll keep thinking about it.’ Claire sounded a little upset now. It was my cue. I steadied myself and jumped on the table, nearly but not quite dropping the leaflet. When I reached the middle of the table, I let the leaflet go and it fluttered down looking a bit worse for wear. I hoped it would still work. The best thing was that finally I could feel my tongue again as I licked my lips, and rubbed my head with my paw.
‘What is this?’ Claire asked, picking it up. ‘The flyer for the pantomime? Why on earth have you brought this here, Alfie?’
‘Oh, maybe Alfie is trying to tell us something,’ Aleksy said, stroking me.
‘Meow.’ Of course I am. Even after all these years my humans could be a little slow on the uptake.
‘You want to go to the pantomime?’ Claire asked. See what I mean?
‘Yowl.’ No.
‘You want us to do a panto?’ Aleksy asked. I tried to move my head a bit, but it still smarted.
‘It would be far too hard,’ Connie said. ‘And anyway there’s loads of them around, so why would anyone come to ours?’
‘Meow, meow, meow.’ Honestly, I couldn’t spell it out any more than this. I did a spin on the table, not sure why but I was frustrated.
‘What about a show?’ Claire said.
‘Purr. Purr.’ Yes!
‘You mean a Christmas show?’ Aleksy said.
‘Purr.’ Now we were talking.
‘For the local community, with everyone involved?’ Connie added.
‘MEOW.’ Finally.