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‘Right, well great, thank you. Off you go,’ Claire said.

‘To be or not to be? That is the question …’

‘What is happening?’ Aleksy whispered.

‘It’sHamlet,’ Connie replied.

‘I know that butHamlet is a man and has nothing to do with the Nativity,’ Aleksy added.

Claire shushed them as Barbara was pacing the stage, saying words that I didn’t even begin to understand. Was this a foreign language?

At the end of a very long speech where I really did have trouble keeping my eyes open, she fell down onto the stage and there was silence. Claire, Aleksy, and Connie’s mouths were open wide.

‘Is she dead?’ someone asked from the audience.

‘Make way,’ Vic Goodman said, Heather on his heels. ‘I am trained in first aid.’ He ran onto the stage and started poking Barbara.

‘Get off me. I’m still acting,’ she said, sitting up. I saw Jonathan, Matt, and Tomasz start laughing yet again. Franceska nudged them and told them to stop. Barbara stood up, refusing to let Vic or Heather help her, and then she took a bow.

‘Wow,’ Claire said. ‘That was, well … that was something I have never seen before.’

‘Thank you,’ Barbara said, but I wasn’t sure that it had been a compliment.

‘Right, well, I think we’re done,’ Aleksy said. ‘It’s been great, thank you all for coming and we will make sure everyone has a role in the show because it’s for the community and also to raise money for the Helen Street Shelter. So spread the word.’ Everyone cheered and clapped. Aleksy was really taking charge as he asked everyone to leave numbers and names so he could get in touch and Claire asked anyone who wanted to help backstage to let them know before they left.

Hang on, this wasn’t right. I jumped from the table and went to find Snowball, George, and Hana.

‘Um, do you realise that no one has mentioned us?’ I said.

‘Maybe because you were a judge?’ Hana suggested.

‘I mean, what if they think we don’t want to be in the show?’ George said. ‘After all, I am probably the most experienced here, so they must want us.’

‘I know, maybe we need to show them that we do want to be part of the show,’ I said.

‘How?’ Snowball asked.

‘Quick, on stage before everyone leaves,’ I said. The four of us made our way onto the stage.

‘Meow, meow, come on guys,’ I hissed. ‘Make as much noise as you can.’

‘MEW, MEW, MEW.’ We were a bit like a cats’ choir. The hall fell silent.

‘What is going on?’ Barbara shouted.

‘Well, it seems that the cats want in on the show,’ Jonathan said, and then he, Matt, and Tomasz laughed loudly. I hoped they were laughing with us, not at us.

‘Of course they need to be in the show, Aleksy,’ Franceska said.

‘Oh no, you’re right, Mum. We forgot about them,’ Aleksy said to Claire.

Yes, you did, how could you?

‘Keep going we’re filming this,’ Tommy said, and nudged Charlie. ‘This will be YouTube gold,’ he said. Again, as much as he complained about doing this, it seemed that Tommy was forgetting to be obnoxious at times, so this really might work.

We started moving around the stage, mewing and stalking, George did a few jumps and Hana looked a little embarrassed, and stayed very close to Snowball, but I think we got the idea across. We carried on until we were all a little worn out. When we stopped, someone led a huge round of applause.

‘The cats are auditioning, that is so funny,’ a voice said.

‘That is the coolest thing ever,’ another person said.

‘Who ever heard of actual cats being in a show?’ Barbara snapped, but she was soon shot down.

‘Of course the cats have to be in the show,’ Connie said.

‘I can’t believe we didn’t think of it.’ Aleksy was shaking his head.

I couldn’t believe it either. George did a sort of jig, Hana swooshed her tail and Snowball rolled around the floor – which I wasn’t sure was a good idea as it was a bit mucky from everyone’s shoes. I walked to the centre of the stage, sat down and lowered my head in an attempt at a bow. I was soonjoined by the others as we sat in a line on the stage, having finished.

‘You know, suddenly I think this is going to be the best Christmas show ever,’ Tommy said with the biggest smile.

‘Meow.’ You’re welcome, I replied.

Chapter Fourteen

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Post audition, everyone was buoyed up that the show was taking shape. Claire called a meeting at our house the following day, and while the children went upstairs to practise their singing– I had a feeling I would be subjected to a lot of this in the coming weeks – us adults sat around the living room, with Claire, Aleksy, and Connie, who were clearly in charge.

Tommy sat in the corner. He was wearing his sulky face again.

‘This looks as if it’s going to be bigger than ever,’ Claire said. ‘We were overwhelmed by the amount of support we received, so I think we owe it to everyone to try to get them into the show.’

‘I know there will be some people who will be disappointed though,’ Aleksy said. ‘But that’s show business for you.’ Honestly, had he caught it from George?

‘Do I still have to be involved if you’ve got so many people?’ Tommy said.

‘Yes, you do,’ Franceska snapped. ‘Now stop that and get involved in something good for once.’

Tomasz put a hand on her arm, in a husbandly way I thought.

‘What about the awful magician?’ Jonathan asked.

‘We are going to give Marvin and Dolly parts in the Nativity, and the juggler,’ Connie explained.

‘We researched it and there can be a lot of shepherds, so we thought that we’d have any extra people as shepherds, that way everyone can be involved,’ Aleksy said.

‘Our thinking is that the running list will be as follows: we open with the dancers who are going to try to dance to something Christmassy, but we’ll work on that. They’ll be followed by the school singing group, the Edgar Road singers, then Rudolph with the children and Pickles. We thought then we would put the Nativity play on – Aleksy and I are going to write the scripts to make it a bit different, but we won’t offend anyone – then, after the first half of the Nativity, Ralph’s choir will sing “Silent Night”. Then we’ll have the second half of Nativity, all with singingas well. We finish with Santa coming on stage with the children and he will maybe throw sweets into the audience, or something – obviously nothing that can hurt anyone – and then everyone will sing “We Wish You a Merry Christmas”.’ Connie had a list in front of her as she spoke and I had never heard her sound so sure of herself.

‘Sounds amazing; you guys have done a great job,’ Matt said.

‘Can’t wait to hear what my part is,’ Polly added.

‘Meow!’ No one mentioned us cats again.

Claire, Aleksy, and Connie exchanged glances.

‘We really need you cats to play sheep,’ Claire said, carefully.

‘Yes, we thought the four of you could be sheep for the Nativity and come on with the shepherds. It’s quite an important part of the play,’ Aleksy explained.

‘Crucial, some would say,’ Claire added.

They had to be kidding. A sheep? Really?

Ages ago, George and I were at our holiday home in Devon and we nearly got trampled by a flock of sheep, so I really wasn’t keen. Wasn’t there anything more appropriate that we could do?

‘And, of course, you can do a sort of sheep dance,’ Connie suggested.

‘What’s a sheep dance?’ Aleksy asked. I had the same question.

‘You know like they did today, a bit of rolling and jigging, it’ll be great for the film, then the shepherds can herd them up and it’ll look more authentic. Of course you will have to train them to be herded, that might not be easy,’ Connie said.

Cheek of it, if we couldn’t take direction then no one could. Honestly, how people kept underestimating us I had no idea. The show was my idea, after all.