“We were drinking manhattans — they really were perfect — and Donna had the softest, sweetest voice,” Will said. “Like music. I was about to order another round of manhattans when suddenly the room went wavy and started spinning. I grabbed the bar top. Donna looked alarmed. ‘Are you okay?’ she asked.
“‘Just a little dizzy,’ I said. ‘I haven’t had dinner.’ She smiled at me, and I felt like I was going to slide off the barstool. Donna took my arm.
“‘Whoa,’ she said. ‘You look a bit pale. You need food. How about if I drive you home and we’ll get you something to eat?’ I nodded and thought my head would roll off my neck. She was a take-charge woman, and I liked being pampered by someone so beautiful.
“I gave her the claim check for my Beemer and tried to give her cash to pay the bill, but Donna wouldn’t take it. She paid for the drinks and helped me outside. The valet had parked my ride out front. They only do that for the hottest cars. She tipped the valet a fifty and drove me home. She used her own money too.”
“Of course she did,” Helen said. That small investment bought a big return.
“I don’t remember how she got me in the house and into bed, but I woke up the next morning and she was beside me. My head was pounding, but she was so beautiful I barely noticed the pain. She was wearing a black bra and panties and my white Thomas Pink shirt. Nothing’s sexier than a woman in a man’s shirt the next morning, don’t you think?”
Will’s whine softened as he described Donna. “She was an angel. She brought me Advil and spring water, then hot coffee. She made toast and honey with her own hands.”
“Talented,” Phil said. He looked wide eyed and innocent at Helen, daring her to say something.
Will shifted on his copper perch and continued, “When I felt well enough to sit up, she asked me if I’d like some real food, and then she cooked a tremendous breakfast — fresh-squeezed orange juice, eggs, bacon, ham, and sausages, and a loaf of toast dripping butter. I didn’t realize how hungry I was until she brought in the breakfast tray. I ate everything, and said how good it was. She laughed and made me more eggs and toast and I ate that too.”
“What did she eat?” Phil asked.
“Almost nothing. A small glass of juice and a cup of black coffee. She made me drink more water, and she was so pretty I couldn’t resist. I drank two big glasses, and that made her laugh. She had the cutest laugh, a sexy little giggle. Then she said, ‘Now that you’re well hydrated, is there anything else you’re... hungry for?’”
Helen studied the pattern on the mosaic tile floor and prayed he wouldn’t give the details.
“Let me tell you, what she could do with those—”
Mercifully, Phil interrupted Will’s recital. “We get the idea.”
“All I can say is she was amazing. Afterward, we showered together.” He nodded at the hydra-headed Swedish shower, “and had some more fun. Then we slept.”
Thank heaven, Helen thought.
“We woke up later that afternoon and walked on the beach, hand in hand.”
“What did she do for clothes?” Phil asked.
“She wore my shirt and her underwear and went barefoot. I wore my swimsuit, and we looked like we’d been swimming. It was a mild afternoon, and we kept walking until we were alone. Then she kissed me and said it was a magic kiss.”
It was, Helen thought. It made all your furniture disappear.
“She said she was hungry and wanted to go to dinner, but she’d have to wear the same dress she’d worn last night. I asked if she knew of any shops open this late, and she did.”
Surprise! Helen thought.
“Donna had superb taste. She knew where to buy the red-carpet brands. We dressed for dinner and drove up to West Palm Beach for a couple of four-hundred-dollar martinis.”
“How can a martini cost four hundred bucks?” Phil asked.
“It’s made with dry vermouth and Stoli Elit vodka,” Will said, “but the price includes the crystal glass and the olive pick with a diamond.”
“A real diamond?” Phil asked.
“Only a tenth of a carat, but the pick is custom-made. Donna wanted a set of four, and those drinks went down smooth, let me tell you. We had a couple of small plates at the restaurant, but Donna said we should have dinner, so I wouldn’t get dizzy again.
“Back in Fort Lauderdale, I took her to the most expensive restaurant on Las Olas. Donna was so beautiful, the waiters kept making excuses to come to our table. She didn’t have coffee and juice that night. She ordered caviar, Kobe beef, and a chocolate dessert covered with real gold.”
“She ate gold?” Phil asked.
“That’s what it’s for,” Will said, as if everyone had the Midas munchies. “I like a woman with an appetite. After coffee and dessert, she said she was hungry again, and smiled at me, and I knew what she really wanted had nothing to do with food. We rushed home and gave that Vividus a real workout.
“Sunday was a repeat of Saturday, except we didn’t waste time shopping. We spent most of the day in bed, then soaked in this tub—” He patted the shiny copper side and leered again. “—then back to bed. For lunch, we had stone crab claws delivered to the house and ate them on the terrace. I had the most beautiful Rausch outdoor furniture — twenty thousand bucks for the sectional sofa, chairs, and tables.
“After another interesting nap—” He waggled his eyebrows. “—Donna was hungry again, but she didn’t want to drive to Palm Beach. We had a quiet dinner on Las Olas at a restaurant that served her favorites: caviar, Kobe beef, and chocolate cake — this time without the gold leaf. She said thanks to the workout she got that day, she could afford the calories. That’s the only time she ever mentioned dieting. Women yammering about dieting bore the crap out of me.
“After dinner, we had brandy on my terrace overlooking the ocean. I wanted to pop the question, but she kissed away my words and said, ‘This silence is perfect. Let’s enjoy the moment.’ We stayed that way for the longest time, until she said, ‘I’ve always wanted a house by the beach.’ She gave a sweet sigh, and I told her to make herself at home while I was at work tomorrow.
“The next morning was like a honeymoon. She was up before me, and she made another huge breakfast. I wasn’t really interested in that much food, but she said I needed protein, then asked if I’d like to work it off Afterward, she promised to fix dinner and asked if I’d rather have steak or fish. I said, ‘Surprise me.’ I liked the idea that she’d be at home preparing something special.
“I went to work whistling. We’d spent an unforgettable weekend together. Donna’s name means ‘lady’ in Italian, and I was determined to make her my lady.
“At lunch, I walked downtown and looked at rings, trying to decide which one was perfect for her. I saw a beautiful rose-gold solitaire, but I wanted her to come with me to pick out her ring. After all, she’d be wearing it forever. I wanted to call her, but I didn’t have her phone number. I called my landline, but no one answered. I figured Donna was sunning herself by the pool. For the first time in ages, I left the office early. It was five o’clock when I got to my street, but before I could pull into my driveway, my neighbor Mrs. Gercher came running over and said, ‘Will! I didn’t know you were moving! I’ll be so sorry to lose you.’
“‘Move? I’m not moving,’ I said.
“‘But the pretty lady said you were. The movers were here all day and they took everything, even your doormats.’
“Mrs. Gercher is seventy-something and I figured she must be gaga. I nearly ran over her as I hit the gas and roared up to my house and ran inside... Donna was gone, and she’d taken everything. All I had were the clothes on my back.
“And here we are.” Will tried to look forlorn. He stood up and Helen and Phil followed him into the kitchen. “My house looks the same as it did eight months ago. The investigation is stalled.”