Demri Lara Parrott—she pronounced her surname Puh-row, not like the exotic bird—was born February 22, 1969, to Steven Parrott and Kathleen Austin, who were twenty-two and nineteen years old at the time and had met through mutual friends. Austin originally planned to name her Erin Lynn Austin, but after she and Parrott got married, the name changed. Her husband didn’t like the name Erin, but he did like Lara. Austin thought she had heard the name Demery somewhere and suggested it. He asked her to write it down, and she spelled it Demri, adding Lara next to it. Parrott liked it, and when Demri was born the next day, the name stuck.
Years later, Demri would jokingly tell people that when her mother was in labor, the doctors had given her a shot of Demerol for the pain and she liked it so much, she named her daughter after it. Demri didn’t like her name at first, because people would mispronounce or mishear it. At the age of two, she had a strong enough sense of self to tell people her name and how to spell it.
Demri could communicate and socialize beyond her years. As a three-year-old, Demri was tested by experts at the University of Washington, who told her parents she had the vocabulary of a high school senior, but her exceptional language skills weren’t always well received by adults or other children. When she was two, her grandmother had made her an angel costume for Halloween with a gold halo that went above her head. Kathleen Austin and her mother were taking Demri to her great-grandmother’s house so she could see Demri in her costume. During the car ride, Demri was tugging at the halo.
“Demri, you’re going to mess up your hair, honey,” her grandmother told her.
“But, Grandma, the goddamn halo won’t stay up.”
Demri’s grandmother almost drove the car off the road.
Demri’s parents’ marriage did not last long. Austin later married a Child Protective Services caseworker and gave birth to their son, Devin Remme, on June 20, 1974. That marriage ended in 1976, and Austin would later marry Dennis Murphy, with whom she would have two children: Derek Murphy, born November 15, 1980, and David Murphy, born on June 12, 1982. According to her mother, Demri was closest to Devin and Derek—the oldest two of her siblings. Like Layne, Demri used her stepfather’s surname—going by Demri Murphy—while growing up but never legally changed her birth name.
The family moved to Arlington, a town about an hour north of Seattle. When Demri was in grade school, her friend Nanci Hubbard-Mills says she was “boisterous, not afraid to speak her mind.” In an art class, the teacher had assigned them to make pumpkins and fruit out of clay. As a joke, Demri ignored the instructions and made a head with an arrow in it.
In eighth grade, she ran for student body president. She won by a landslide—the teachers stopped counting the ballots after she was leading her closest competitor by more than three hundred votes. After a few months, she was removed from the position by the faculty because she had fallen behind on her schoolwork.
Demri won a state prize for a project about alcohol and drugs. For source material, she approached her mother, who had been a practicing counselor working in the addiction field since 1976. Demri borrowed a display case from Austin’s office, which had fake samples of different types of drugs and a film. In retrospect, Austin said, “If anybody had ever told me that my daughter would become a heroin addict, I wouldn’t have believed it.”
Hubbard-Mills remembers that exhibit, saying Demri had put it together for the cultural fair at the middle school. It was so well received that it was eventually shown at the high school. “This is when Demri was happy, would hang out for lunch. This is when she thought people doing drugs would die.” She and other friends from Arlington say Demri had tried marijuana and mushrooms by the time she was in high school.
Karie Pfeiffer-Simmons met Demri when she was in fifth grade and Demri was a year ahead of her at Post Middle School, and the two became friends about a year later. “She was very outgoing, very well liked. Just petite, beautiful. She just lit up the room. She liked to be the class clown, get attention and joke around. She would sneak out through the windows of the classroom and skip class. She was always doing funny things or charming the teachers so that she would get good grades that way.”
Demri’s interests and ambitions at the time were in the arts. “I know that she wanted to be in acting and I know that she wanted to be an actress and be in movies,” Pfeiffer-Simmons said. “She had to be in the limelight.” Lyle Forde, Demri’s high school choir teacher, said, “She really did love music and the performing arts. She definitely had the bent toward the performing arts, and was very social. Some students, they don’t really go up and talk to teachers. They kind of hang with their friends. She was social with other students and their teachers. She was a competent singer, but I think she also was a dancer.”
When she was about fifteen or sixteen, Demri was one of three hundred prospective students to audition for twenty-five openings at a performing arts school in Jacksonville, Florida. Though the odds were against her, she was admitted. She came home for Christmas break after a few months, and, in her mother’s words, “She blew it.” She had fallen in love with a young man back home, left the school, and moved back to Washington.
A few months before meeting Layne, Demri went to a mall to audition in front of an audience for a singing part in a musical called Cinderella Rock. “She starts this song and then she stops and says, ‘Obviously, you can all tell that I can’t sing,’” Austin said. “Then she just played the crowd—it was amazing.” There were three or four agents at the audition, who were impressed enough that they gave her their business cards.
There are two stories of how Layne and Demri met. Although there are a few slight differences in the two versions, they do not necessarily contradict each other.
According to Kathleen Austin, “She met Layne in 1989. She was working at the mall, and there was a girl working in the store with her, and the girl invited her to a party. And the girl was from the Seattle area. Dem told me later that on the way to this party, the girl turned and looked at her and said, ‘I just made the biggest mistake of my life.’ And Demri said, ‘What?’ And she said, ‘Bringing you to this party. I know my boyfriend’s going to fall in love with you.’ That was Layne, and the rest is history,” she said. “I think it was love at first sight.”
The only detail that can be corrected in this account is the date. Evidence shows that they met in 1988. Demri’s signature appears several times in the guest sign-in notebook kept at the Music Bank, which closed its doors for good in February or March 1989. There are also photos of her and Layne together in Randy Hauser’s Polaroid collection from this early period in the band’s history.12
The other story of how they met comes from Layne’s friend Sally Pricer Portillo, who says she was the one who introduced them. Pricer Portillo was at a party the first time she met Demri. Pricer Portillo isn’t certain, but she thinks Demri knew about her friendship with Layne. “My feeling on it—I mean, I can’t say for sure—is that she knew that we palled around together: I was always with him, he was always with me, I was always at Music Bank.” Demri asked her, “Tell me a little bit about Layne. Will you introduce me to Layne?”
Another time, Pricer Portillo and Demri were out in Pioneer Square, when Demri asked, “Will you please invite me to this party, because I know he’s gonna be there, and I want to hang out.” Pricer Portillo agreed to bring her along. At the time, Layne was twenty-one or had just turned twenty-one. Demri would have been eighteen or nineteen—too young to get into bars, as Pricer Portillo recalled. Based on Layne’s age and birth date of August 22, this would have happened in the late summer or early fall of 1988, but Demri may have already been in the picture before that. Regarding the women Layne had been with or dated before, Pricer Portillo says, “No one ever was serious until it came to Demri, and then when it came to Demri, it was all about Demri, which I was happy about because that got rid of some of the riffraff.”