Suddenly from in front of her Alice made out a loud, agitated voice. She made a few more steps forward and then stopped. Someone was arguing. It would be awkward to just jump out from the trees and bother the people. So Alice very carefully peered out from behind the branches of the young pines.
Beyond the trees was a meadow, and in the meadow was a very strange creature.
It was a person, but what kind of person man or woman, young or old she could not guess. That was because the being was dressed in a fur coat that went down to her toes, on the head was a fur winter hat with ear pieces that ran below the chin, and the face was covered with enormous dark glasses.
The being was sitting on a suitcase, holding a pocket phone in one hand, and speaking:
“Nikitin, just where did you send me? No, of course you understood correctly. I asked, where did you send me?”
“I did not send you anywhere.” The voice answered from the hand phone. “Wherever it is you flew, that’s where you are.”
“And where was a flying?”
“To the Karsk Sea, to Unity Island.”
“You mean, to the North Pole?”
“That’s right.”
“Then tell me, please, what it is you see around me that resembles the North Pole in any way, shape, or manner?”
The being in the hat lifted one mittened hand and took in the surroundings with the hand phone’s video scanner in order to convince the person at the other end that nothing hereabouts resembled the North Pole in the slightest. The situation was so odd Alice had trouble keeping from laughing.
“You’re right. It’s not the North Pole.” The sad voice came from the hand phone. “How could it have happened?”
“That’s what I wanted to ask myself.” The being answered. “Now what do I do?”
“I would recommend that you get back into the flyer and see what button it was you pushed.”
“Men are such naifs!” The being in the hat said. “Doesn’t it occur to you that when I left the flyer it was on automatic and went right back home?”
“Unfortunate.” The voice at the other end of the com link said. “I’ll have to send another flyer for you.”
“Genius!” The being in the hat shouted excitedly. “I expected no better answer from you; but tell me please, Nikitin, just where are you going to send the other flyer to for me?”
“Well, wherever you are…”
“And where am I?”
“Yes, where are you?”
“I haven’t the slightest idea! For all I know I could be in the Hawaiian Islands, or maybe even Tasmania! Perhaps I am on some uninhabited island like Tristan da Cuhna and it will be another year before I see a ship!”
“Don’t panic!” The com-link voice said. “We’ll think of something!”
Suddenly Alice could hold back her laughter no longer. The being in the hat heard the laugh and quickly jumped up.
“Wait?” She shouted. “There’s someone here. Maybe a wild animal, perhaps even a hyena….”
“I am not a hyena!” Alice called. She stepped out of the underbrush.
“An aborigine!” The being in the hat shouted. “Nikitin, hold the line. I’ll try to find a common language with him.”
The person ran toward Alice, shouting in English and then in French. “Stop, fine person. I mean you no ill will! I am lost! Tell me please, what is the name of your country?”
“You’re in the Crimea.” Alice answered.
“You speak Russian!” The stranger was dumbfounded.
“Of course I do!”
“Then why did you keep silent?”
“I wasn’t silent. I wanted to tell you that you’re on Karadag, on the South Shore of the Crimean Peninsular.”
“No wonder, I should have known.” Off came the fur hat to show long, dark flowing hair; off came the eye glasses to show a beautiful young face with enormous blue eyes; off came the fur coat to reveal a tall young woman.
The woman stretched out her hand and introduced herself:
“Svetlana. Svetlana Odinokaya.”
“Alice Selezneva.”
“Thank you. You have saved me. Without you I would have perished.”
“It’s rather hard to perish here. There are people everywhere.”
“But you found me.”
“You have a pretty name.” Alice said. “You must write poetry.” For some reason this conclusion met with Svetlana Odinokaya’s strong disapproval.
“How could you even suspect such a thing!” She growled. “If men want to get drunk in verse over dawns and sunsets or odd named flowers, let them! I’m a real scientist. I did not come here to enjoy myself; we were about to carry out the final tests of the Minimizer Mark Two, the only one of its kind in existence. “
“And what are you going to test?” Alice asked. The fur hat and coat lay on the suitcase; the only thing Svetlana had in her hands was the pocket com she had turned off.
“Its response to the extreme conditions of the Northern Ice Sea!” Svetlana said.
“You seem to have missed your stop.”
“It doesn’t matter. Just lead me to the nearest flyer station and I’ll continue my journey.” Alice liked Svetlana, and really didn’t want her to fly off to the North Pole.
“But tell me, can’t you carry our your tests here?” Alice asked.
“Here? In the Crimea? What sort of extreme conditions can I find around here. And, oh….”
Svetlana turned the pocket-com back on; Nikitin’s face appeared in the small screen.
“Listen, Nikitin.” Svetlana said severely. “I’ve just gotten an offer from the natives to carry out our series of experiments here.” She pointed the pick-up toward Alice.
“So you’ve ascertained where the ‘here’ is, I take it?”
“Isn’t that already understood. We’re in the Crimea, where else, in Karadag. Instead of hitting the selector button for KARsk sea you made me press the button for KARadag and sent me here.”
“Lana, just how could I make you do anything if you were the one sitting in the flyer and I was in the Institute?”
“Nikitin, you miserable coward!” Svetlana shouted and threw the pocket-com away from her in anger, and informed Alice:
“We’ll carry out the tests here! I’m going to need a testing ground. An open space larger than this one.”
“There’s one not far from here.” Alice said. “I can take you.”
Svetlana picked up the suitcase, tossing the coat over her shoulder. Alice picked up the hat, the goggles, and the pocket-com. The com’s screen was broken; Alice supposed Svetlana had thrown it down far too hard.
Alice walked in front; Svetlana followed about two paces behind.
“And just what are you doing here?” Svetlana asked. “Are you really a native?”
“No.” Alice answered. “I study at a school in Moscow. I only came here for one day with some film makers that I know; they’re here to film the sunset for the film ‘Fairy Tale Symphony.’“
“Men, I take it.”
“Yes.” Alice answered. “All of them, even one man sold old he fought against Napoleon and there’s real moss growing on him.”
“On them all.” The words ground through Svetlana’s teeth. “On them all.”
For some reason the woman was very displeased with men, although Nikitin had seemed polite and well-mannered enough to Alice.
“So why are you so angry at men?” Alice asked.
“I’ve simply had far too much of Nikitin.” Svetlana said. “He’s my collaborator. Terribly muddle-headed. Not to mention absent minded. You can’t imagine just how absent minded he is! Yesterday for some reason he bought a whole bouquet of roses. He brought them to the lab. And do you know what he did then? He put them on my chair, forgot them right there! Right on my computer! How utterly repulsive! They stink!”
“Well what if he put the bouquet of flowers on your desk deliberately? Alice asked.
“All the worse! It means he’s taunting me, mocking me!”
“But what if he’s not?” Alice asked.