Alien Research
Katherine "Kitty" Katt - 8
by
Gini Koch
To Mary Rehak and Phyllis Hemann, whose cheerful optimism in the face of any and all adversity is always an inspiration to me. Fight on, my sisters from other mothers, fight on.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
This book was late. Oh, not so as it would affect any of you, the readers, but in terms of when it was supposed to be turned in, which is challenging for everyone involved in the process that gets said book into your hot little hands. So, many extra thanks to my awesome editor, Sheila Gilbert, and my wonderful agent, Cherry Weiner, who remained calm, and kept me calm, as my deadline flew by. You’re both the best and I’m thankful every day that I get to work with you. Oh, and your chocolate is in the mail.
Same again to my crit partner, Lisa Dovichi, who helped me get this book done, and done right, all while doing all the other million and one things she does so well that you’d never know she’s a multitasker of the highest order. And of course, much love to my main beta reader, Mary Fiore, who once again had to read for errors at a breakneck pace, and still managed to find them all and remain cheerful.
Love and thanks always to all the good folks at DAW Books and all my fans around the globe. To my Hook Me Up! Gang, members of Team Gini, all Alien Collective Members in Very Good Standing around the world, Twitter followers, Facebook fans and friends, Pinterest followers, and all the wonderful fans who come to my various book signings and conference panels, I have but this to say: You still complete me and I love you all more every day.
Special shout outs to: my distance assistant, Colette Chmiel, who continues to be the only reason I get things done and the only reason I’m even sort of sane; Adrian and Lisa Payne for continuing to support everything I do, everywhere I do it; Koren Cota, Hal and Dee Astell, Thomax and Shannon Green, Blanca and Oliver Bernal, Diana Klabis, Jan Robinson, Terry Smith, and Mariann Asanuma for making and bestowing such lovely edible, wearable, and adorable gifts for and on me; author Eric Penner Haury for fun times at Tucson Festival of Books which included introducing me to his cousin, Ted Danson, who was as charming as you’d want a famous celebrity to be; author and comics artist Christopher Baldwin for help and fun times at Tucson Festival of Books; authors Terry L. Smith, Amber Scott, Shaina Hardesty, Andrea Rittschof, and Deb Haralson for fun times, help, and support at AZD—everything’s better when you girls are there; “Chiropractor” Ken who saved my back during Phoenix Comicon; Lee Whiteside for always taking the best care of me before, during, and after Phoenix Comicon; Raul “Sherpa” Padron, Edward “GF#1” Pulley, Joseph “GF#2” Gaxiola, Brad “My Man” Jensen, Terry Smith (getting the hat trick!), and Jeff “BFAM” Twohig for all your help during Phoenix Comicon; fabulous authors Caris Roane, Erin Kellison, and Erin Quinn for always being there and having my back; and ever-wonderful author, BFF, and sister in crime Marsheila Rockwell, for once again helping me save my writing day while making me laugh—road trips with you are the best, babe.
Last, but truly never least, all my love and thanks to my husband, Steve, and daughter, Veronica, who continue to make the journey worthwhile. And I continue to love you both more than words can say.
22350
22350
IN ALL THE TIME man has been on our good planet Earth, we’ve stared at and striven for the stars, at least in some way.
Or so they tell me. Frankly, my experience has been that what a goodly number are doing is staring at and striving for more wealth and power. And since aliens joined us on Earth, those same people have been striving even harder to control said aliens, presumably to use them to get even more wealth and power.
I’m talking, of course, about the first time the aliens joined us for an extended stay, in the 1960s. Not the several times in the distant, ancient, and super-distant past, when a variety of aliens did flybys and, from what we can tell, evolutionary experiments here. No one was trying to control any of them. At least as far as we know.
Nope, I mean when the gang from Alpha Four in the Alpha Centaurion solar system came to live here permanently. Okay, not all of them came. Just some of them. Religious exiles, with some sympathizers and human spouses along for the ride.
They looked enough like us that they could hide and blend in. Well, mostly blend in: all of our A-Cs, as they call themselves, are drop-dead gorgeous. Maybe it’s the double hearts. Having two hearts makes them all speedy and strong and quick to heal, so why shouldn’t it make them total hotties, too?
Sorry, back to the more solemn recap. The A-Cs hid and blended in, known to exist only by a few Earth governments, and those with a high enough security clearance.
But, you know, the A-Cs had jobs. Math, science, medicine, killing parasitic superbeings. Mostly done in secret, because the A-Cs also have talents that allow them to alter what humans think they see—in more ways than one—but only for the safety and peace of mind of the humans not in the know. Well, most of the A-Cs were trying to keep the humans safe.
Some of them, of course, made a real love connection with other megalomaniacs, and really did their best to destroy humans and their own people seemingly indiscriminately, for whatever reason looked good on the daily menu at the Evil Super-Genius Bar and Grill.
And then I came on the scene.
In the three short years since I’ve discovered that aliens, and lots of them, were living on Earth, a lot’s happened. I fell in love with and married one of them, we had a child, and I inherited some mutated alien genetics. I also became a superbeing exterminator and the Head of Airborne for Centaurion Division. Then, somewhat against my will, I became the Co-Head Ambassador for American Centaurion. And then, truly against my will, I ended up the wife of a Congressman and American Centaurion’s Head Ambassador.
Yeah.
Fortunately, I’m adaptable.
Of course, along the way through all of this there were a couple of alien invasions that weren’t as friendly as the one in the 1960s. One of them, we kept off the radar. One of them, however, changed the world. But through it all, the A-Cs were there, protecting Earth and everyone living on it. Well, you know, other than the ones who weren’t. But there are a lot fewer evil A-Cs than good ones, especially since I’ve gotten rid of a bunch of the bad ones over the past few years.
Yet there are still those who’d rather make a buck doing terrible things to humans and aliens alike. Those who want money and power and all the perks that come with it, especially perks that let them amass more money and power.
Now, before you start to worry, I’m not anti-business. As Oingo Boingo likes to remind us, there’s nothing wrong with capitalism. Unless said capitalists are actually evil megalomaniacal scumbags intent on destroying everyone you care about and probably the Free World As We Know It. Then they need to be taken down, in the most extreme way.
But never fear, good citizens—Megalomaniac Girl is here!
Huh, you know, after the last three years, you’d think I’d be hearing a lot more clapping and cheering and lot less of the sounds of silence broken only by the quiet sound of crickets chirping. So, let’s try this again. I am Megalomaniac Girl, and I have Poofs and Peregrines with me to help save the day!
Yeah, okay, that’s better.
CHAPTER 1
“AMBASSADOR, would you please tell the Committee your full name?”
“Katherine Sarah Katt-Martini.”
“Do you know the whereabouts of one Herbert Gaultier?”
“No.” My bet was Hell, but the Committee probably didn’t want to hear that.