Check and mate.
ACE is not Kitty’s enemy. ACE will never desert Kitty, but ACE could not inhabit Kitty. It was not . . . allowed. And ACE knows Kitty has searched for ACE. ACE has heard Kitty searching for ACE. It gave ACE . . . hope.
Hope. Is Naomi dead?
Not . . . really. Not as Michael and Fuzzball and Gladys are dead. ACE has joined them in, at their request. Fuzzball held Michael and Gladys here, waiting for ACE to return.
Good Poof.
Yes. But Naomi is not alive as Kitty is. Or even as ACE and Algar are. Naomi exists . . . elsewhere.
Did she trade herself for you?
No. ACE would not have allowed that. But what Naomi did to herself means Naomi cannot return to this world as anyone would know her. ACE is sorry. Chuckie will ask, but ACE cannot bring Naomi back to Chuckie or Chuckie to Naomi. Chuckie must stay here, where Chuckie belongs.
It’s not fair.
No, it is not. But Naomi made the choice. Freely.
Jamie said you were angry. Is that why? Or are you angry with me for letting it happen?
ACE is angry, yes. But ACE is not angry with Kitty or Jeff or the others. Naomi’s choice is not Kitty’s triumph or Kitty’s fault. ACE is angry that Kitty’s enemies have succeeded. ACE is angry that Michael, and Fuzzball, and Gladys are dead and that Naomi can never come back.
ACE is angry that ACE cannot fix what Kitty’s enemies have done. ACE cannot tell Kitty what to do or help Kitty. ACE cannot avenge Michael’s loss or support Naomi’s sacrifice. ACE cannot help Chuckie through this loss, or Caroline, or the others.
I understand.
And ACE is angry that others who do not care about Earth can require ACE to leave ACE’s penguins alone without ACE’s protection.
I’m sorry we put you into the position of being in trouble with your peers, ACE.
Algar had told me that by helping us ACE had put himself onto the wrong radars and clearly he hadn’t exaggerated. The two powerful beings who’d ended up watching over Earth were trapped between the rock of dependency and the hard place of free will, both constrained by their peers or more powerful beings from doing all they wanted to for the billions of human penguins they both watched over.
And yet they were both still here and, in their own ways, both still helping. They’d started out as distant observers and now were actively involved with keeping their favorite penguins alive. They risked for us, even though both of them would probably deny it. They risked themselves to take care of us, because that’s what you did for the beings you loved.
No. ACE is not sorry for anything ACE has done to help Kitty or the others. ACE loves ACE’s penguins. But right now, all ACE can do is tell Kitty that Kitty thinks right, and, Naomi knows that Kitty thinks right.
Right now. Well, that wasn’t permanent, or at least ACE had some kind of plan to work around his new restrictions. Just like Algar had found his ways to work around the restrictions he had in place to protect himself from discovery.
As for my thinking right, took that to mean I was correct and, despite what the bad guys wanted us to think, Chuckie wasn’t the Mastermind. It was a small comfort that I could tell him and the others that Naomi knew this before she’d left us. But small comforts were better than none.
Even though you can’t do what you have in the past, ACE, I’m glad you’re back. I’ve missed you.
ACE missed Kitty, too. ACE is happy with Jamie. No one can hurt Jamie because ACE is allowed to protect ACE.
Ah. So this was actually ACE’s checkmate. I wholeheartedly approved. Thanks, ACE. I swallowed. This is going to be the last time we talk like this, isn’t it?
Perhaps. When Jamie sleeps it will be . . . easier for her to allow ACE to interact. When Kitty sleeps it will also be easier.
Great, more weird dreams were in my future. Under the circumstances, I’d deal with them. Well, that’s more than we’ve had for quite a while. You won’t talk to me, or anyone else, if it would hurt Jamie, right?
Correct. ACE will not allow anything or anyone to hurt Jamie, including ACE.
Super, that’s all any parent can ask. ACE . . . welcome home.
Felt the warmth that meant ACE was hugging me in my mind. Reveled in it because it had been so long.
And then it was gone.
Algar had said we had to be careful of what we wished for. I’d asked for ACE back, and back he was, but the cost for ACE’s return was high, higher than any of us could have guessed, and I knew Algar had known it would be.
Whether the cost was worth it would depend on who you asked. I didn’t know, and I figured I might never know. And I couldn’t tell anyone. ACE hadn’t needed to tell me that, because I knew already.
Where Naomi was now, what Naomi was now, wasn’t something we were going to get to know. And sharing that she was “somewhere else” wouldn’t allow Chuckie, Gower, Abigail, or anyone else to heal. “Somewhere else” meant a search for El Dorado, and that meant focus and energy and more heartbreak, because ACE had said Naomi couldn’t come back and he hadn’t used any weasel words. He’d said never.
Jamie blinked and looked at me. “Mommy, why are you crying?”
“Because Auntie Mimi is gone, baby.”
Jamie opened her mouth, as if she was going to argue. Then she stopped, closed her mouth, and reached for me. I took her out of Dad’s arms and held her, while I let myself cry, in part so I wouldn’t have to listen to the sounds of other people’s tears.
CHAPTER 93
JEFF HAD INSISTED that Mom and Dad and Chuckie all stay in our apartment, versus going home or even down to the guest floor. None of them argued.
Everyone was exhausted emotionally and physically and, heartbroken or not, we all went to bed. Couldn’t speak for anyone else, but my sleep was thankfully dreamless. It was also over too quickly.
Chuckie didn’t join us for breakfast. “I’m bringing out Charles’ parents,” Mom said as we finished eating. “They’ll be here in a couple of hours. I asked them to pack to stay for a couple of weeks.”
“Thanks, Mom. I’ll let him know. Soon.”
Jeff nudged me. “You should visit Chuck now, baby. Take as long as you need. I’ll handle things.”
Leaned against him. “You sure? There’s a lot that needs handling.”
He kissed the top of my head. “I haven’t been sidelined into politics all that long. We lose people every day. It’s particularly painful right now considering who we’ve lost, but I learned over twenty years ago that the best thing you can do for the dead is to honor their memory and not let the people who killed them win. And part of how they win is to make us unable to function. So, we’ll be functioning.”
“Spoken like Commander Martini.” I hugged him, then headed for Chuckie’s guest room while Dad played with Jamie and Mom and Jeff started discussing strategy.
Knocked softly at Chuckie’s door. Didn’t get a response. I worried for a moment that he either wasn’t there or that something awful had happened to him, so I opened the door.
“Breaking the rules as always, I see,” he said. He was dressed. The window had a very wide sill, and he was sitting on it, looking out. He was in profile to me and I’d never seen him look so sad—the sorrow was literally etched into his face.
He was also surrounded by Poofs and Peregrines. The animals looked at me, then turned right back to Chuckie.
“Well, that’s part of my charm,” I said as I came in and closed the door behind me.
“You know, I wonder if Alexander knew.”
“Excuse me?”
“When he sent the Peregrines. His note to Mimi and Abby told them to stay inside the Embassy. Maybe he knew, or Leonidas knew, that they shouldn’t be doing active work.”