“I would like three nectars of the gods,” I told the woman running the counter.
“You have ID?” she asked blandly, probably sick of listening to all the messed up people.
“I have three kids,” I told her. “Don’t you see all this white in my goatee? That’s from them.”
“I don’t care if you have three elephants, if I don’t see ID, you don’t get three beers.”
“Now three elephants would be pretty cool,” I told her as I gingerly went to the pocket that housed my wallet. At the best of times, when I am as sober as a newborn, I fear about losing my wallet or dropping contents out of it. So when I go out and know I’m going to be drinking, I keep it in a zippered or buttoned-up pocket and my OCD makes me touch that spot a good twenty times an hour to make sure that it hasn’t found a way out on its own. I will usually keep a twenty in my front right pants pocket for easy access with the added bonus of not having to take my wallet out.
“Do I really look nineteen?” I asked, trying to flirt my way out of getting my wallet out. I showed her the twenty.
She completely shut me down. “No, you don’t look nineteen at all, but I have to see everyone’s ID.”
“Your mellowing my high,” I mumbled as I grabbed my wallet.
“Just think how mellow it will be if you don’t get these beers,” she responded.
“You must have been a nun in another life,” I told her, trying my best to keep an eye on any errant articles from falling out of my wallet as I fished my driver’s license out.
“What makes you think it was a previous life?” she asked, grabbing my ID. Bitch didn’t even look at it as she handed it back. “Was that so hard?” she asked as she waited impatiently for me to put all the contents of my wallet back together and then try to find the twenty I had put back in a different pocket.
“You have no idea,” I told her as I briefly panicked until I located the wadded up bill.
Nineteen fifty for three beers. She took her time with the change, I guess expecting me to tell her to keep it. I waited patiently and she begrudgingly handed it over. I’ll be damned if I was giving her a nickel for making me go through that while I was in my altered state. I don’t think I won the particular encounter, but I didn’t lose either. Now I had to try and figure out how to get back. Easier said than done, but I figured at the absolute worst, I would be alone with three beers.
I found the sound stage just as Widespread came back on. I circled around a bit until I saw Dennis. He was once again twirling around with Yellow Sundress; she must have landed nearby. I looked up in the sky, I guess looking for her falling vapor trail. I tapped him on the shoulder. The relief slash joy that flooded across his features as he saw me was, in a word, awesome, and then compound that with his added joy when he saw what I was carrying was just plain cool as hell.
“Wasn’t sure I’d see either of you two again tonight,” Dennis said joyously as he took the proffered beverage.
“I knew you’d be thirsty, my friend,” I said, putting my arm around his shoulder.
“How’s Yellow?” I asked.
“Who?”
“The girl you’re dancing with.”
“I’m dancing with someone?” he asked in earnest, looking around for his mythical partner. “You seen Paul?” he asked when he figured I was messing with him.
“Naw, I hoped he made his way back here by now.”
“Maybe he’ll bring some beers too. That’d be great!”
And I nodded an enthusiastic agreement.
Widespread played an inspired second set. Dennis and I had finished our beers, and out of a toast for our missing friend, we split the third beer evenly and drank it down. Paul was still nowhere in sight. By this time, I think Dennis’ eyes were turning yellow. I could see a hint of panic in them as he tried to gauge his success rate at holding it or making it to and from the john.
Yellow saved the day. She was walking by without a care in the world, semi twirling as she moved past.
“Hi!” I yelled to her louder than I needed to. I imagined my face to be a washed out version of itself from the hard partying I was in the midst of.
She looked over, her smile never wavering. “Hi yourself!” she said.
“Are you heading to the bathroom?” I asked (yup that’s me! Always the smooth one.)
This time, her smile slipped for a second, like “What the hell was my problem?”
I wasn’t so messed up, (okay, yes I was) that I couldn’t see her confusion. “My buddy, here,” I said, pulling Dennis over to my side. He had not the slightest idea that I had been talking to his dance partner.
“Do I know you?” he asked. I wasn’t sure if he was asking her or me.
“We’re fabulous friends,” she said, her smile returning. “We might even be married.”
That was news to me, although I’d met Dennis’ ex and this girl blew her away, both looks-wise and personality. He could have done a lot worse, like going back to the miserable thing he’d divorced.
“Umm, okay, since you two are potentially married, your husband is in some desperate need of (I swear I almost said relief, but that would have sounded way to sexual) help. We’re a little on the other side of normal, and I don’t think he’ll be able to find his way to the restrooms and back.”
She laughed a warm, mirthful laugh and put her hand out for Dennis.
He grabbed it, then asked who she was again.
I had my doubts I’d see him again tonight. By now, I was wondering if I would be able to find my way back to our temporary accommodations. The odds weren’t stacked in my favor. I was constantly scanning the crowd for Paul. He had been missing a long time. Sometimes I would call out his name, thinking that maybe I had seen him close by. But always the person was walking away, threading through the crowd to parts unknown.
If you’ve read all my journals up to this far, first off congrats for getting through my ramblings. But you should have a good idea that I do not like big crowds and I do not function well within them. However, there I was thriving. The collective consciousness of that crowd was uplifting. My soul was bobbing up and down on the strong electric current. I know it sounds corny and maybe a little too hokey, but I was having a blast and who’s to deny what I was feeling, no matter how cheesy?
Twenty minutes later, half hour, seventy-eight parsecs? I don’t know. I saw the bright rays of Yellow Sundress gleaming through the crowd, and like a heralding angel, she was leading a beer-laden Dennis.
“I hope you two are married!” I told her.
She was still smiling, but I think she forgot she had ever said that.
“I come bearing gifts!” Dennis yelled. “And I’m not ever doing that again!”
I hoped he hadn’t meant peeing because eventually you’d just blow up.
Yellow handed Dennis a piece of paper with her phone number on it. “Enjoy the show,” she told him as she gently stroked his face and went twirling away into the crowd.
“Who the hell is that?” he asked me, handing me a beer.
I picked up the napkin that he had dropped. Her name and phone number were on it. I think her name was Susan, but I won’t attest to that. I stuck the piece of paper in Dennis’ rear pant pocket.
“Paul?” he asked, sipping his beer.
I shrugged my shoulders. “Did you get the beer Nazi?”
“No ID, no beer!” he said, smiling.
It was another few, maybe ten minutes and the lights dimmed down, the third set was starting.
“DUDE!” I heard from behind me.
It honestly took me a few moments for my reeling brain to put the image before me and match it up with Paul’s.
“BUDDY! Where the hell have you been?” I responded.