When she grew quiet for too long, he glanced at her. She pressed her lips together—chewing over her own thoughts, he figured. He cut the omelet in half and plated one for her and himself. He garnished the plates with a few raspberries and set them in front of her. Striding around the island, he pulled up a stool next to her and took a bite.
“Eat, Faith.”
Picking up her fork, she stared at her plate. “You know how to cook.”
“Enough basics to get by. Eggs aren’t rocket science.”
Satisfied that she’d eaten a few bites, he dug into his own omelet with vigor. Damn, but he was hungry. He’d eaten all of it before she’d even made a dent in hers.
“Take my bed tonight. I’ll crash on the couch.” There. He could do the right thing, after all. Except why did he feel like shit?
She didn’t argue.
chapter
nineteen
“Spill it,” Lacey demanded, while checking the hem of the wedding gown. “You’ve been mute for two days. We want to know what happened in New York.”
Faith swallowed a sigh and sat in one of the chairs in the little boutique. Lacey had fallen in love with the second dress she saw, a little, satin, ivory slip style with a scoop neck and a lace back. It was sleeveless with no train, which was a good thing, considering Lacey and Jake were getting married on the beach.
Faith would plan her wedding the same way, if she ever got married, the chances of which were looking pretty slim. A simple dress, a few people, dancing by moonlight on the beach with the waves caressing her toes. Small. Simple. Perfection. Even the cake would be an uncomplicated yellow with buttercream frosting. Maybe a few pearl beads for decoration, to match the ones in her dress.
Disturbed by her thoughts, Faith rubbed her forehead. She’d never been a frivolous dreamer like other girls. She didn’t spend her nights imagining the perfect wedding, right down to what color rose petals the flower girl would toss. So why did the images pop up now? Granted, Lacey and Jake’s wedding was drawing closer, and they were making a lot of plans, but that didn’t excuse the wayward notions in her head.
She’d spent the majority of her life unnoticed, unwanted. Hollow and secretly aching for someone to acknowledge her existence, yet too scared to prove to anyone that she was there. It was a position she’d grown used to, just a way of life. Business as usual. But then Alec came along, and for a moment, she was a somebody. Not invisible. Not a donor for parts or a nuisance to tolerate. Suddenly there was a man interested in her day and what she was thinking. The way he touched her and spoke to her made her feel alive. Free. The happiness he evoked was almost exhausting.
But a week had gone by, and besides popping over once to watch her and Ginny bake peanut butter cookies, Alec hadn’t visited. For a person who’d been discarded her whole life, that hurt a lot. The pain of rejection stole her will to eat, to smile. A week ago, her heart had been soaring. Now, since he’d put a stop to their summer romance, she couldn’t function past a wallow.
She kept replaying his admission over and over in her head. What happened to Laura wasn’t his fault, but she understood irrational guilt better than anyone. After all, she had been conceived to save Hope and she’d failed. Deep down, Faith knew that wasn’t on her shoulders, but the burden was there just the same. So yes, she understood.
Their lovemaking had been the stuff of fantasies. Specifically, hers. It was as if he knew her every desire, every need. The tender way he caressed her, tasted, and the moment his need erupted and his touch became insistent stole her breath. It was a night she’d wanted all her life. She’d come out of herself for a little while and become a woman. Not a shadow or a wallflower. A woman.
It had never been like that before, not for her. For a fleeting instant, she’d thought it had been that way for him, too.
Dang it. She was falling for him. No, she had fallen for him, and like everyone else, he’d walked away as if she’d never been there in the first place. Forgettable.
“Is everything okay?” Mia asked.
Faith looked up and was surprised by the haze of tears blurring her vision. She wished Hope was here. Had her sister lived, Faith would have probably been in a little boutique with her, picking out dresses and discussing flowers.
Quickly, she cleared her throat. “Sure. I’m fine. You look very beautiful in that dress,” she told Lacey over Mia’s shoulder. “I’m getting misty.” Hopefully that explained her sudden emotion.
“Oh, sweetie.” Lacey stepped down from the pedestal and patted her hand. “What happened? Didn’t the lingerie work?”
At least she’d gotten two great friends out of the move to the coast. There was that. “It worked. We . . . um, you know. But it was just a onetime thing.”
“Why? You guys seemed to be hitting it off.” Mia sat in a chair beside Faith’s and crossed her legs.
She shrugged. There was no way to explain the real reason to them without betraying Alec’s trust. “Like I told Lacey, we were short term. He’s got reasons why he can’t commit, and I understand.”
“Can’t or won’t commit?” Mia huffed.
“Can’t,” Lacey answered and pinned Faith with an understanding look. Of course, Jake would’ve told Lacey the story, or parts of it. “Things can always change, though.”
Faith shook her head. Drawing in a deep breath, she glanced around. “Is that the magical dress? I think it’s perfect.”
“Me, too.” Lacey beamed. “I think Jake will love it.”
Mia smiled. “Jake loves the woman in it. The dress is just wrapping.”
Lacey glowed. “I should hang it back up, but I don’t want to. I want to wear it everywhere. It just needs an inch or two brought up from the hem, but otherwise it fits perfectly.”
Lacey followed the attendant to the changing rooms, leaving Mia and Faith to browse the racks. Lacey had decided to let them pick out their own dresses, her only requirements being that they were calf-length and pastel in color.
Mia held up a pink dress with capped sleeves. “Think it’s too pale for me?”
“No.” Mia’s tanned skin and midnight hair would look lovely in the shade. “It’s pretty. I like the cut.” Faith turned back to the rack. “I don’t even have an idea what to look for.”
“Something yellow, or maybe mint green. You’d look great in a strapless with your shoulders.” Mia fished around and pulled out a strapless satin dress with a tulle overlay in a pale sunflower color. A thin, corded ribbon that ran under the breasts tied off in the back.
“I like it.” She imagined herself wearing it on the beach, walking down the makeshift isle with Alec, as he was the one paired with her for the ceremony. Would Alec like it? She shook her head—she needed to stop thinking as if they were a couple. They weren’t and never would be. “Shouldn’t Ginny be here if we’re picking out dresses?”
Mia hummed. “Cole took her out to a movie. I wanted to get an idea for our dresses before bringing her along anyway.”
Cole embraced Ginny as if she was his own sister, his blood. He never grew annoyed by her inability to do things, nor did he seem irritated by having a third wheel. It made Faith’s heart happy. He was a good guy, and Mia would have a great life with him. Lacey and Jake would have a great life, too. They fit well together, genuinely cared about Ginny, and were already making her part of the family.
And then there was Faith. The special needs teacher on payroll who stayed in the guesthouse. When she had taught at St. Ambrose, no one, including the staff, had paid much attention to her presence. There, Faith had known her place, her duties. Here, everything was askew and disorienting.