Emil, get the boy a glass of water.
He looked at his notepad and he turned to John Grady.
Son, I'm fixin to ask you three questions and if you can answer em the horse is yours.
Yessir. I'll try.
Well you'll either know em or you wont. The trouble with a liar is he cant remember what he said.
I aint a liar.
I know you aint. This is just for the record. I dont believe anybody could make up the story you just now got done tellin us.
He put his glasses back on and he asked John Grady the number of hectares in the Nuestra Señora de la Purísima Concepción spread. Then he asked the name of the husband of the hacendado's cook. Lastly he laid down his notes and he asked John Grady if he had on clean shorts.
A subdued laughter went around the courtroom but the judge wasnt laughing nor the bailiff.
Yessir. I do.
Well there aint no women present so if you wouldnt find it to be too much of a embarrassment I'd like for you to show the court them bulletholes in your leg. If you dont want to I'll ask you somethin else.
Yessir, said John Grady. He unbuckled his belt and dropped his trousers to his knees and turned his right leg sideways to the judge.
That's fine son. Thank you. Get your water there.
He pulled up his trousers and buttoned them and buckled his belt and reached and got the glass of water from the table where the clerk had set it and drank.
Them are some nasty lookin holes, said the judge. You didnt have no medical attention?
No sir. There wasnt none to be had.
I guess not. You were lucky not to of got gangrene.
Yessir. I burnt em out pretty good.
Burnt em out?
Yessir.
What did you burn em out with?
A pistolbarrel. I burnt em out with a hot pistolbarrel.
There was absolute silence in the courtroom. The judge leaned back.
The constable is instructed to return the property in question to Mr Cole. Mr Smith, you see that the boy gets his horse. Son, you're free to go and the court thanks you for your testimony. I've sat on the bench in this county since it was a county and in that time I've heard a lot of things that give me grave doubts about the human race but this aint one of em. The three plaintiffs in this case I'd like to see here in my chambers after dinner. That means one oclock.
The lawyer for the plaintiffs stood up. Your honor, this is pretty clearly a case of mistook identity.
The judge closed his notebook and rose. Yes it is, he said. Bad mistook. This hearing is dismissed.
That night he knocked at the judge's door while there were still lights on downstairs in the house. A Mexican girl came to the door and asked him what he wanted and he said he wanted to see the judge. He said it in Spanish and she repeated it back to him in english with a certain coldness and told him to wait.
The judge when he appeared at the door was still dressed but he had on an old flannel bathrobe. If he was surprised to find the boy on his porch he didnt show it. He pushed open the screen door.
Come in son, he said. Come in.
I didnt want to bother you.
It's all right.
John Grady gripped his hat.
I aint comin out there, said the judge. So if you want to see me you better come on in.
Yessir.
He entered a long hallway. A balustered staircase rose on his right to the upper floor. The house smelled of cooking and furniture polish. The judge was wearing leather slippers and he went silently down the carpeted hallway and entered an open door on the left. The room was filled with books and there was a fire burning in the fireplace.
We're in here, said the judge. Dixie, this is John Cole.
A grayhaired woman rose as he entered and smiled at him. Then she turned to the judge.
I'm goin up, Charles, she said.
All right, Mama.
He turned to John Grady. Set down, son.
John Grady sat and put his hat in his lap.
They sat.
Well go ahead, said the judge. There aint no time like the present.
Yessir. I guess what I wanted to say first of all was that it kindly bothered me in the court what you said. It was like I was in the right about everthing and I dont feel that way.
What way do you feel?
He sat looking at his hat. He sat for a long time. Finally he looked up. I dont feel justified, he said.
The judge nodded. You didnt misrepresent nothin to me about the horse did you?
No sir. It wasnt that.
What was it?
Well sir. The girl I reckon.
All right.
I worked for that man and I respected him and he never had no complaints about the work I done for him and he was awful good to me. And that man come up on the high range where I was workin and I believe he intended to kill me. And I was the one that brought it about. Nobody but me.
You didnt get the girl in a family way did you?
No sir. I was in love with her.
The judge nodded gravely. Well, he said. You could be in love with her and still knock her up.
Yessir.
The judge watched him. Son, he said, you strike me as somebody that maybe tends to be a little hard on theirselves. I think from what you told me you done real well to get out of there with a whole hide. Maybe the best thing to do might be just to go on and put it behind you. My daddy used to tell me not to chew on somethin that was eatin you.
Yessir.
There's somethin else, aint there?
Yessir.
What is it?
When I was in the penitentiary down there I killed a boy.
The judge sat back in his chair. Well, he said. I'm sorry to hear that.
It keeps botherin me.
You must have had some provocation.
I did. But it dont help. He tried to kill me with a knife. I just happened to get the best of him.
Why does it bother you?
I dont know. I dont know nothin about him. I never even knew his name. He could of been a pretty good old boy. I dont know. I dont know that he's supposed to be dead.
He looked up. His eyes were wet in the firelight. The judge sat watching him.
You know he wasnt a pretty good old boy. Dont you?
Yessir. I guess.
You wouldnt want to be a judge, would you?
No sir. I sure wouldnt.
I didnt either.
Sir?
I didnt want to be a judge. I was a young lawyer practicing in San Antonio and I come back out here when my daddy was sick and I went to work for the county prosecutor. I sure didnt want to be a judge. I think I felt a lot like you do. I still do.
What made you change your mind?
I dont know as I did change it. I just saw a lot of injustice in the court system and I saw people my own age in positions of authority that I had grown up with and knew for a calcified fact didnt have one damn lick of sense. I think I just didnt have any choice. Just didnt have any choice. I sent a boy from this county to the electric chair in Huntsville in nineteen thirty-two. I think about that. I dont think he was a pretty good old boy. But I think about it. Would I do it again? Yes I would.
I almost done it again.
Done what, killed somebody?
Yessir.
The Mexican captain?
Yessir. Captain. Whatever he was. He was what they call a madrina. Not even a real peace officer.
But you didnt.
No sir. I didnt.
They sat. The fire had burned to coals. Outside the wind was blowing and he was going to have to go out in it pretty soon.
I hadnt made up my mind about it though. I told myself that I had. But I hadnt. I dont know what would of happened if they hadnt of come and got him. I expect he's dead anyways.
He looked up from the fire at the judge.
I wasnt even mad at him. Or I didnt feel like I was. That boy he shot, I didnt hardly even know him. I felt bad about it. But he wasnt nothin to me.
Why do you think you wanted to kill him?
I dont know.
Well, said the judge. I guess that's somethin between you and the good Lord. Wouldnt you say?
Yessir. I didnt mean that I expected a answer. Maybe there aint no answer. It just bothered me that you might think I was somethin special. I aint.