Fine.
The lake was seventy miles northeast. The weather sucked, but Bleeker needed this. Needed to get away from the heat at home, still living with the wife he'd already asked for a divorce. He'd only told her about Cindy Holm and the baby not even a month ago. Cindy had kind of forced his hand. But if that's what it took, then there you go. He was ready to make a break and start over again.
He hooked up Forrest's ice-fishing shack, now his, to the back of his 1996 Buick Roadmaster. What a car. It could tow an elephant. He'd only put eighty-four thousand miles on it in fourteen years. Looked as clean as the day he'd bought it.
It was a bastard to fight the wind and whiteout for an hour until it slacked off closer to the lake. Then he drove on across the ice, past clumps of other shacks and big SUVs or 4X4s. A temporary city on the ice, every year, clearing off before the Spring melt as if it was never there. Bleeker drove on, ignoring the cracking noises beneath the car-it would hold, not a problem. He and Forrest had a secret spot. Or maybe it wasn't a secret. Maybe it was because they never caught much there and everyone else knew it. But catching fish wasn't the point. Boozing it up while watching a hole in the ice, talking about anything other than the stuff that mattered-that's why they did it.
Bleeker unhooked the ice shack, a red and white tin number that had a little kitchen space inside-a few cabinets and a counter barely enough for a toaster oven or microwave-but it was empty this trip. He opened one of the catch covers on the floor and worked at drilling the hole. He got hammered on Rum and Cokes while he drilled, forgot to hook up the generator for the lights and heat. At some point when it was too dark to see, he tried to get the plastic container of ashes opened, spilling some here and there before clumsily tipping it over the hole. Most of the dust fell into the lake and drifted along under the surface of the ice. The rest turned into mud and clogged the hole.
Bleeker mock-saluted and sat down hard on his canvas chair. He had left his cell phone and radio in the car. The wind was howling outside like souls in hell, snow piling on one side of the shack. Bleeker opened another bottle of rum, another bottle of pop, and sipped himself to sleep.
That's how Trish found him the next morning.
*
She said his name. Said it again, louder. Took it up a notch each time until he blinked his eyes and yawned. She wasn't about to go rustle him since he was gripping his. 40 caliber pistol in one hand, an empty plastic cup in the other.
When Bleeker finally realized who it was, he turned away, let out a big sigh. He'd come here to get away from the never-ending fight. Seemed like Trish always had a new knife to stab him with, some old wounds ready to be reopened and poked. Jesus, why couldn't it be simple? Got tired of life with one woman. Pay her enough so she won't be left high and dry. Move on with new life, new partner, new possibilities. It's not like he was actively trying to hurt her. Shit, he was hoping she'd been thinking of her Plan B, too, since it had been obvious for at least the last eight or so years that the love had been sucked clean out of the relationship. So why go another ten years filling it back up with bile?
Bleeker looked back. She stood in the doorway of the shack, arms crossed, sun bright behind her. Just like a blizzard to sweep away all the clouds and blind you with clear blue big sky the next day. His face hurt from the cold, his jaw felt like someone was stabbing him-grinding his teeth all night-and his hands were numb. He squinted, realized why Trish was stand-offish, and put the gun into his jacket pocket. Dropped the cup by the empty bottles of Sailor Jerry's and store brand cola. The swishing in his head wasn't so bad, until he tried to stand up. Felt like the ice was breaking and he was going in.
Trish nodded at the hole in the ice. "You did it?"
The plastic box was upside down, and a lot of ash was still ringing the hole like margarita salt. Then there were smudges, bootprints. An embarrassing funeral.
"I could've used help, I guess. But it's done."
She didn't react much. Walked closer to the hole, took a look down, arms still crossed. Bleeker had a hard time seeing her like this-a puffy parka over a long sleeve t-shirt. Jeans and boots. Severe short hair, spiked on top. Frown lines etched in forever and forever. Rose-tinted eyeglasses with extra-thin gold frames. It wasn't that she looked bad, really, but more like she looked the same way she'd been acting for so long-bitter.
Bleeker didn't know what was important enough to get her up here. He didn't bother saying goodbye when he left the day before. Separate bedrooms, separate meals, separate schedules. They'd never had children, so that made it even easier, as easy as these things could be. Except for the one scare, the reason they got married in the first place. But she lost it inside of a month. They saved the date anyway. Grinded along until the gears had frozen. She wouldn't be here for the small stuff.
His cop instinct was tingling.
Trish said, "Something's happened."
His stomach dropped. Kept his footing. "Jesus, spit it out."
She shook her head. If it was anybody worth crying about, she'd done hers already and was through. Which made him think…no.
"Something happened last night. A shooting. I'm sorry."
"Cindy?"
She couldn't look him in the eye. "I'm sorry."
He reached back for his chair. Wasn't even close. Caught himself, then sank to the floor, cross-legged, face in his hands. He wasn't one to cry. Wasn't one to yell. What he felt was tight. All his nerves and tendons and muscles tight to the point of tearing. Teeth might explode. Throat closing up.
No idea how long he sat like that. Could've been ten seconds. Could've been an hour. Trish left him alone. Not a hug, not a pat on the shoulder. He looked up and she was back in the same spot near the door, arms crossed, looking across the lake at the other ice houses. Then she lit a cigarette.
He remembered the gun in his pocket. So did she, obviously. That's what it had come to.
Bleeker pushed himself off the ice. Cleared his throat. "Dead, right?"
Trish nodded. "And Erik Poulson, too."
"Who did it?"
"Couple of black guys. Probably Somali."
Fuck. It was a small town, small police department. Out of three detectives, he was the one who best knew how to deal with the Somalis
"Why don't you let me drive you back? You're in no condition."
He thought about it. A kind act on her part, no ulterior motive. But that was the problem. To go with her meant he would lose control of the situation. She wouldn't be the only one to give him a ride or babysit him at home.
Bleeker shook his head. "I can drive."
"Ray, come on."
"I said that's okay." A little too loud. "I'll follow you."
Her lips were tight, nostrils flared. She stomped out the fucking cigarette and walked out to her SUV.
Bleeker closed the shack door and walked over to the Roadmaster, got in, and followed Trish off the ice. He turned on talk radio to keep himself awake and focused. Was a time he'd bought all these guys' acts-the liberal and fag conspiracies, the Illuminati, the Mark of the Beast, the President being the Antichrist, the government with its disarmament squads and black helicopters. But at some point between the decent Somalis he'd met, and the way his Lutheran church had taken Trish's side, pretty much kicking him out, telling him to find God elsewhere, and Cindy's soft-heartedness, he'd started listening more carefully, not accepting the party line as easily.
Now the bozos were mostly noise to keep him awake on iced-up roads.
Just when he thought the world might be a better place than he'd believed, this had to happen. His love, his baby, Forrest, Poulson, his marriage, his peace of mind…
His cell phone rang. He picked it up, saw that there were a dozen messages waiting, starting at around three in the morning. His dash clock said it was seven fifty-one. Trish had been a real trooper, getting up that early to come tell him his mistress and unborn child were dead. Jesus.