No need to panic, she told herself. She crawled from the bed and padded quietly to the bathroom for her robe. She brushed her teeth and washed her face, avoiding the reflection in the mirror the whole time. With a last glance at the sleeping man in her bed she headed for the kitchen and the coffee pot.
Minutes later she slid the pot back under the still dripping spout and lifted a steaming mug to her lips. Everything would be all right. She’d laid out the rules to Lukas before they ever left the store, so he knew she’d only been looking for one night. Besides, preacher’s son or not, he was male. A one-night stand wouldn’t be anything new for him.
Footsteps sounded behind her announcing his arrival in the kitchen, but she stayed at the counter with her back to the room. A well-muscled arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her back against a hard body. A body that instantly awoke a sleeping hunger within her.
“Hmmm, you smell good.” He buried his nose in her hair and pressed a kiss to her neck.
She fought to control her body’s reaction to his nearness. “It’s the coffee.”
A rough chuckle sounded, and his chest vibrated against her back. Pretending not to notice the tempting hardness pressed against her butt, Grace shifted away from him and reached into a nearby cupboard.
“Here you go.” She handed him a ceramic mug and moved to sit at the kitchen table. He’d pulled his jeans on, but was still barefoot and bare-chested, and the sight was almost enough to make Grace forget why she couldn’t drag him back to bed. Their coupling had been almost magical in its intensity. When he settled into the chair across from her, the soft look in his eyes made it clear he wasn’t going to let her forget it either.
“Look, Lukas,” she said quietly. “I was…in a bad place last night, and I want to thank you for being there for me. But it was a one-time thing.”
He looked at her earnestly. “Why?”
Grace had expected an argument, maybe even some wounded male petulance. Luke’s simple question was a surprise. “Because you’re you, and I’m me, and we come from two very different worlds.”
His brow furrowed before he waved her words away. “We can talk about that later. I meant why were you in a bad place? What happened to shake you up so much?”
Clutching the coffee mug in both hands to still the minute trembling, she met his gaze and spoke in a flat voice that hid both her grief, and his effect on her. “Chelsea died of an overdose last night, and I had to go to the morgue to identify the body.”
“I’m sorry, Grace. I know how much those kids mean to you. My father thanks God in his prayers every night for sending you to his parish.”
She nodded. She thanked God every night in her prayers for leading her to Father John’s church that night fifteen years earlier. The sanctuary she’d found there had given her a new lease on life, and put her on the path to helping others. But that night was her secret. Hers and Father John’s. And as much as she knew Father John loved her for her work with the troubled teens that took part in their after-school program, she also knew he’d never approve of his son getting involved with her.
“It was a tough night. And when I saw you at the store, I was still feeling a little lost myself. You were great, but it was-”
“Don’t!” The firmness in his voice halted her. “Don’t you dare say it was a mistake.”
This was the argument she’d been waiting for. She stared into his darkening eyes and smiled softly. “Okay, it wasn’t a mistake. But it can’t happen again, Luke.”
His cheeky grin gave birth to butterflies in her belly. “That’s okay. Because next time we get together I’m going to take you out for a wonderful dinner, and maybe some dancing.”
The tension left Grace’s shoulders, and she allowed a small smile when she shook her head at him. He’d been incorrigible before, if she wasn’t careful he’d soon become irresistible. “There won’t be any of that either. Lukas, you know anything between us is impossible.”
“No, I don’t know that. And neither do you. I don’t understand what you’re so scared of.”
“I’m not scared,” she denied. She got up and moved restlessly to the counter. She dumped the last of her coffee down the drain and rinsed the cup, using her actions as an excuse not to look at him while she spoke. “It’s just not smart. Not only is your father my boss, but he’s a minister, Luke.”
“So what? My father loves you.”
She turned back to him, folding her arms over her chest. “He loves me as a teen mentor and probation officer who works hard to help kids find a better life. He won’t love me as the older woman fucking his son.” He flinched at her harsh words, and opened his mouth, but she pressed on before he could speak. “Neither would the community that I know means so much to both of you.”
“You’re a part of this community, Grace.”
“No.” She shook her head. “I’m an outsider. I live here and I serve a function, but I’m not a part of anything.”
He was in front of her in a flash. One hand cupped her cheek and the other her hip as he tilted her head up so she’d meet his gaze. “Last night you felt like the other part of my soul.”
Her breath caught in her throat. He wasn’t laying a line on her, she could see the truth of it in his eyes. Her heart pounded and the shell she kept it encased in cracked before she could shore it up.
“Don’t, Lukas.” She twisted her head and pulled away from him. “Don’t make this out to be more than it was.”
“You can’t honestly tell me it was just a one-night stand, Grace. This has been building between us since we met. What happened between us was special. It was right.”
She heard the anger starting to build in his voice and closed her eyes. She didn’t want to hurt him, but she had to make it clear that it had only been sex. “Sex is a normal way to reassert life when grieving, and that’s all it was.”
“Did you learn that in your psychology classes, or are you just trying to make me feel like shit?”
“No! I’m not trying to make you feel bad at all, Lukas. I just need you to be clear on what’s what.”
“You want it to be clear that you used me?”
Shame made her blush. “I’m sorry, but yeah, I guess I did.”
“You need to stop kidding yourself, Grace.” He shook his head at her. “You’re incapable of using someone like that, and nobody uses me unless I let them. I knew you were hurting over something, and I wanted to be there for you. I’ve been in love with you since the first day we met, and if you think I’m going to let you pretend that everything we shared last night was only because you were grieving, you’ve got another think coming.”
He reached out and pulled her to him. His hands warm and sure as they smoothed up and down her spine, keeping her body flush against his as his mouth came down on hers. His tongue thrust between her lips and claimed ownership in a primal way.
Grace reached out to push him away only to find her fingers digging in to his shoulders, pulling him closer as she wrapped one leg around his hip and rocked her pelvis against him.
He pulled back and looked down into her eyes. “I’m going to go now, but I want you to know that this is us, together. It’s not your grief, and it’s not going to be only one night.”
Before she could protest, he pressed a soft kiss to her lips and walked away. At the door to the kitchen he turned and flashed her a confident smile. “That’s a promise.”
Four
Lukas shoved his clenched fists deep into his pockets and fought the urge to go to Grace. A week had gone by since the morning he’d left her in her kitchen, looking shocked and a little scared. It had been a hard thing to do, but he knew it hadn’t been the right time to force the issue.