It was almost dark when they finally arrived home. “That was the most fun day I have ever had in Albuquerque,” she said. “Thanks for taking me. Thanks for finding the ad on TV.”
“I have never done anything like that. We will have to do it again.”
“I hope we do. Maybe we can hike all the way back down. It sounds like fun, but it would have to be summer.”
“We can do other things in New Mexico, too,” he said. “There are lots of things to do. Our problem is we don’t have much time off, and some of our time off has laundry, groceries, and sleeping in it.”
“We’ll get to some of it even if we have to use some vacation time.”
“I love you.”
“I love you.”
Chapter 16
It had been a heavy Friday for the first-year residents. Changed into street clothes, Josh made a quick stop at the charting station, having thought of something he had forgotten to order on one of the patients. He entered the minor detail in the computer and logged off. Ann plunked in the seat beside him.
“Thank God it’s Friday,” she said.
“I agree with that,” Josh agreed.
“But you’re on call tomorrow. So, Friday doesn’t mean that much to you.”
“It’s the end of the week. There’re never office hours on Saturday, so the workday isn’t quite as frantic, and then there’s Sunday to recover. Tonight, home is just waiting for me to crash and burn, more of a mind thing.” He wanted to change the subject. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure,” she said.
“What do you think of Brian Yankton? It seems like you guys are at odds.”
“I don’t know. He is hard to deal with. We need to take care of patients, manage easy things on our own, and be proactive in teaching.”
“I don’t think he will ever be any of those,” Josh said, “do you think? It seems like he is completely mechanical. Either that or he is so intelligent that he can’t relate to us.”
“It’s sure not that,” she said. “He is academically weak. Several times he has given false answers to questions, and not all he says is logical. It would be better if he said he didn’t know, and then came the next day with a real answer.”
“That’s how you, Peggy, and Emily are. We all appreciate that. No one can know everything.”
“I agree.” She looked him straight in the eye. “There has to be an honest, pure relationship. There can’t be any smoke and mirrors. In our business, smoke and mirrors clouds judgement and derails success.”
Josh nodded.
She went on, “Don’t you think saying you don’t know takes some knowledge and self-confidence? It takes some command of yourself. It also takes self-confidence to say you were wrong. We all get things wrong sometimes.”
“So, you think he’s not self-confident?”
“Yes, mostly.” Ann was staring at a computer screen, briefly distracted. Josh looked at her face thinking she was someone he wanted to model, someone who would make an impact on his professional life, and who had made a life for herself, on her own, and that she owned it.
“Where are you from, Ann?” Josh asked.
“Detroit. I was raised by a single mom who worked two jobs so my sister and I could go to school. We were doing homework when our friends were running around in the streets playing softball and soccer. But she taught us honesty, self-confidence, the importance of admitting a mistake, and how crucial taking control of your own life is. How your life turns out has to do with what you make of it. The world is not responsible for your own mistakes or failures.”
“I think I was taught those things also. But in addition, my mother insisted that we shouldn’t try to control anyone else,” Josh said. “There might be times to offer an opinion or a suggestion, but no friendship or marriage can tolerate dominance.”
Ann stood. “I think I agree. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Standing to go, he saw Faith come out of the locker room and head for the elevators.
“Dinner somewhere?” Josh turned to catch Ann. “Do you want to go with us?”
“No,” she said with a smirk. “Thanks, though. A certain urologist is fixing dinner.”
“Kidney stew?” Josh couldn’t resist a urology reference.
Ann rolled her eyes, acknowledging she got the joke. “Prime rib. See you tomorrow.”
Faith let Ann distance, then turned to Josh, “I’m famished, I’m exhausted, and I’m on call Sunday.”
“Me too. I’m on call tomorrow.”
“Where?” she asked.
“Here, dork. Where else do we take call?” He started laughing.
“No, smarty. Where do you want to eat?”
“Subway?”
“Not!” she snipped, to his delight. “That’s just downstairs. I want to sit down, and they bring it to me.”
“How about Longhorn Steakhouse near my house?”
“Ooo! That would be good,” she mumbled. “I like a good steak.”
In the elevator he said, “I figured.” In a robot’s voice he said, “You are Texan. Texans like steak. You like steak.”
She snickered. “Correct.”
“Are you riding with me and I bring you back? Or are you driving yourself, and I go home from there?”
The elevator door opened, and they headed for the parking lot.
“Ride with you.”
“Do you want to stay with me tonight?” he said. “I want beer.”
Josh led to his car, flicked the unlock button, and she entered the passenger side like she had done it a hundred times.
“Where’s your car?” he asked.
“Home. I walked over yesterday morning. It was nice out.” He saw the expression on her face announce a change of subject. “Can we stop by my place?”
“OK. Any special reason?”
“I need a couple things if I’m staying over.” The acceptance rumbled over him like a freight train. He had extended the invitation almost rhetorically, never thinking she would accept. He was still not catching the indirect way she had of saying “yes.”
She was quickly in and out of her duplex, but it was still late enough that evening I-40 evening rush traffic had calmed, depositing them at Louisiana Boulevard in short order. A few blocks north, he pulled into the parking lot at Longhorn Steakhouse.
“I’m starving,” she said. After a short wait, they got a table. “What do you get here?”
“Flo’s Filet, rare.” He didn’t even have to think.
She scanned the menu. The server came, and they ordered.
“A rare steak?” she questioned.
“It’s so good. Almost as good as Oklahoma Angus beef.”
“Oklahoma. Is that in the United States?” she asked.
“Yes. Texans need a passport to go there.”
She stuck her tongue out.
“What are you going to do after you finish your residency?” he asked.
“Maternal-fetal medicine,” she said. He thought she was kidding. “No, really. I like fetuses. And I like delving into the medical problems that some of our pregnant moms have.”
“That’s good. Where do you want to go for that?”
“Dallas, maybe,” she answered. “It’s a dream. I didn’t get into the Texas Southwest Ob-Gyn program, and it would be wonderful to fellowship there. Or maybe San Antonio.”
“San Antonio is an amazing place. It has several major maternal-fetal medicine training programs and so much to do. I love the Mercado and their zoo.”
She threw the question right back. “What do you want to do?”
“I don’t know. Cancer always fascinated me, and I liked my gynecologic oncology rotation as a medical student. But the rotation here was awful. I don’t want to manage abnormal pap smears all my life. Vulvar cancer is disgusting.”
“Ugh,” she said, “that’s no joke.”