“It’s important to find faith,” Natalie said, which got no reaction, so she went on. “I hope you treat her better than Brian.”
“What do you mean?” Marianna said.
“Brian was mean. He just wanted to dominate. I didn’t like that.” Natalie looked at Faith. “That’s the truth, isn’t it, Dr Faith?”
“Maybe,” Faith said. “Until Josh, I didn’t see it that way.”
“See, Josh,” Natalie said, “she can’t ever see the obvious.”
“I think she deserves better than that, and I plan to treat her very differently,” Josh said. “I promise not to dominate. We haven’t even had a real argument yet.”
“One of the things he does, Mom,” Faith said, “is he empowers me. The night he talked to Marla about the divorce papers he told me that the papers didn’t mean I had to do anything. I could use them or not. He never bosses me around or tells me what I have to do.”
“You boss me around,” Natalie said.
“You’re the little sister,” Faith said. “I’m supposed to boss you around. It’s my job.”
“Aren’t I the light of your life?” Natalie asked.
“Um, no.”
“Now girls,” Marianna said.
“Marianna,” Josh said, “I want to see ‘giggly wiggly.’”
“I think you did earlier today when we arrived at your apartment, when Faith and Natalie went in together,” Marianna said. “Wasn’t that ‘giggly wiggly’ enough for you?”
“I guess I was thinking that was squealy wheely, or whatever,” Josh said.
“I’ve always called it ‘giggly wiggly’ because that’s how they were. When they were younger, it was more wiggly, and now it’s more giggly.”
“I think it’s wonderful,” Josh said.
“Josh,” Jim said, “you’ve made me comfortable having Faith move in with you. For us it was sudden, and I wasn’t sure what I thought of it. It seemed like Brian was gone and you pounced on the scene like a lynx on a squirrel. I was frankly alarmed. Now I’m not. Just take good care of her, will you?”
“Yes, Jim,” Josh said. “I promise.”
The group moved to the parking lot where there were handshakes and hugs. To aggravate her, Josh attempted to hug Natalie, who ran a circle in the parking lot yelling, “Get away from me!”
Marianne hugged Faith and then Josh.
“Thanks so much for helping,” Josh said. “It wasn’t as bad as I thought. She didn’t have all that much stuff.”
“No problem,” Jim replied. “Come see us in Lubbock soon.”
“We’ll try, Jim. We’re only off together one night in three. Makes it tough.”
The Pernitelli family hopped back in the pickup truck, loaded with Faith’s bed, dishes, and coffee table, headed for Lubbock.
Chapter 20
Brian laid the sheet on Peggy’s desk and went away. He would come back when she was in.
A few hours later, Brian saw Peggy at a distance in the hall and followed her to the fellows’ closet. He paused for a moment in front of the door, wondering if confiding in Peggy was a good idea. So far, the old girl had been a reliable sounding board, secrets apparently unable to escape her mouth. Not true of Emily Beacham, Michelle Scroggins, or the Pain Management folks. He opened the door and entered.
Peggy looked up from the report Brian had left with a face that showed disbelief. “What’s this?” Peggy asked.
“It’s the final report on the drug screen they did on me a while back. They analyzed the opiates and found oxycodone, which is in Percocet, and fentanyl.”
“I see that. Where is the fentanyl coming from?”
“Around.” The old wooden rolling chair groaned as Brian sat.
“Cripes, Brian, that’s not good. This will make your detoxification a lot harder.” Peggy stared hard in Brian’s face. “No tiny pupils today. Who tested you, anyway? The lab report says JDT. Who is that?”
“JD Thompson is the Dean of Faculty. Emily and Michelle made me meet with them and him, and they tested me. They recommended — more like forced — me to see Pain Management and make a plan.”
“So how is that going?”
Brian squirmed. “I have only had two appointments, one with the psychiatrist and one with the counselor. I am supposed to go to NA meetings starting next week.”
“You don’t have small pupils today. Are you still using fentanyl?”
“No. I haven’t had fentanyl for several days. I might have to have some tonight, though. It was hard to sleep last night.”
Peggy didn’t respond. After sitting for a period of silence, she finally asked, “What did the Pain Management people say?”
“They didn’t say anything, but they know. This came today.”
“Maybe that doesn’t change the plan.” Peggy said.
“Maybe.”
“What do you think?”
Brian said, “I knew about the fentanyl—”
“You think?”
“— but I can manage it fine.”
“Is there anything I can do?”
“No.”
“Why did you come to share this with me? I would have had no way to find out, otherwise. And I don’t make management decisions — actually I wouldn’t make management decisions about detoxification since I know nothing about it.”
“I figured you would be all over UpToDate about it and have some pearls.”
“I don’t. I didn’t. But why are you revealing this to me?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t reveal it directly to Pain Management, but they have the report. I guess I just thought you should know.”
“How do you administer your fentanyl?”
“A patch.”
“You can buy patches?”
“Yes.”
“Where do you get them?”
“Around.”
“Are they expensive?”
“Yes.”
“From the questions I just asked you, you know I don’t know much about this. I don’t have any advice to give you. Except maybe stay away from the people that sell fentanyl since they tend to be dangerous.”
“Pain Management doesn’t seem to have any advice either.”
“You always say Pain Management,” Peggy said, “don’t you see the same person every time?”
“My counseling sessions, yes. My psychiatrist, no.”
“What did they tell you the plan was?” Peggy asked.
“Gradually decrease the opiates. Start suboxone later.”
“To help with temptations.”
“I guess.” Brian got up and left the room, closing the door very gently. The frosted glass window didn’t notice. He felt good about the exchange as he strolled down the hallway, but empty about it in the elevator. Where was this going? Why did he feel so compelled to tell Peggy?
Chapter 21
An idea blinked in Brian’s brain. He had not lived in the apartment with Faith two months he had paid for. Recovering that would help a little. Fentanyl was expensive, Percocet wasn’t cheap, and good weed was hard to find. The computer revealed the call schedule. She was off tonight, and Josh was on call, making the perfect opportunity.
Brian drove to her — Josh’s — apartment. The windows were dark. Several knocks on the door went unanswered. For a time, he sat in the car, listening to the radio, which only increased the ire he felt. Finally, he ascended the steps and knocked again. No answer. He sat and leaned back against the door, closing his eyes to think. He was awakened by a scream as she approached the landing in the dark. “What are you doing here Brian?”
“Did you move in with him?”
“What business is that of yours?”
“We were together for seven years, married for four years, and in less than two months you move in with someone else?”
She pushed by him and put her key in the lock. “What do you want, Brian?”