I lay prone for a long time. Too long. Something could get us like this. A bear, another pack member. I’m just laying here feeling sorry for myself.
No. A broken bond won’t be my end.
I’m stronger than this. So is my wolf.
With effort, I make it to my feet. We wobble a moment, enduring another wave of pain. Stupid mate. He did this to us. He doesn’t get to hurt us anymore.
Bit by bit, the aching cavernous emptiness in my chest becomes bearable. Not gone, but a dulled throb of a freshly healing wound scabbing over. Bearable if I grit my teeth. Ignorable if I pretend it doesn’t exist.
I haven’t survived this long after everything changed to allow something like this to break me now.
As awful as being rejected is, I’m stronger than my despair. Being at odds with this pack has never been easy. I’ll survive being rejected by my mate because I’m good at picking up the pieces.
I don’t need Caden.
9CADEN
Avery has a wolf. I hardly believe my eyes when she shifts before me, my wolf divided between the strong desire to go to her and biting my cousin’s face off. Once she scampers off, the lashing heartbeat in my ears subsides. My chest heaves with my labored breathing and my hold on Lorne’s throat flexes. I don’t release him, keeping him pinned because I’m not satisfied yet.
“Let me up,” Lorne says through his teeth.
“No.”
He jerks, meeting my eyes again in another unspoken challenge. “Caden—”
I flash my teeth to shut him up. “You defy your alpha when he demands your submission? Show me your neck before I force you to shift and tear your pelt from your hide to teach you a lesson. Submit.”
Despite the roughness of my wolf bleeding into my voice with Alpha command, he holds out another second, five, ten. With each one I squeeze his throat a little tighter, grinding my knee into his abdomen. At last, his gaze drops away. With a rough grunt, I wrench his head to the side. He lies prone, hands out to expose his stomach when I rise to my feet.
Good. I can’t deal with rebellions like his. It’ll disrupt the pack, divide them into factions more than they already are. He could issue a challenge for the right to my title, the right to take the pack from me.
I won’t let that happen. My attention drifts to the tree line, finding the spot Avery disappeared. My jaw clenches. She unbalances me. I need to be steadfast to lead.
Avery’s wolf is surprisingly large, her coat a warm roan that gleamed beneath the moonlight. I push the thought of her beautiful wolf aside, wrestling myself under ironclad control as I address the crowd.
“I apologize for this interruption to our night of celebration. The matter’s been dealt with,” I announce. “Let’s put this behind us and show the moon goddess our thanks for her gifts to us in tonight’s run.”
Cormac scoffs, dragging his timid mate with him when he’s the first to stride past me for the trees. I work my jaw. One by one, the pack follows suit, stripping their clothes so they’ll have something to wear when they’re ready to return to the commons.
It’s a damn good thing we don’t have any first time shifters tonight, or their green energy could’ve tipped everything into more chaos. There are two coming of age at the next full moon. I’ll need to keep a vigilant watch to ensure it goes smoothly. There will be no repeats of tonight’s disastrous turn of events.
Energetic wolves chase each other around the commons while older ones sit off to the side, uninterested in the antics of the young. Once everyone’s shifted, they begin heading into the woods in family groups and mated pairs.
Once I’m satisfied things are back to normal, I shred what’s left of my shirt and join them. Before I get it off, my wolf makes himself known again with a fierce rumble.
I search the mostly emptied out clearing for what’s got him riled up now. Then I catch the barest hint of summer honeysuckle on the breeze coming from the north of pack territory.
My wolf rides me hard, catching me off guard with the force of how fiercely he fights me to let us shift, to track our mate’s scent, to provide and protect. I grit my teeth with the effort to maintain control once again.
Because if I don’t go after Avery right now, he will.
And moon goddess be damned, he’s winning.
He won’t be swayed or listen to the logic of man. This time there’s no stopping him. Teeth clenched to hang on to my eroding composure before he takes over, I signal for Liam. He’s at my side in an instant.
“Lead the pack run,” I push out, my voice already rougher with the wolf bleeding through. “Make sure there’s no more trouble.”
“Got it.” Liam eyes me as I hold off the shift as long as I can. “You good?”
“No,” I admit in a low huff, only because we’re the last two standing on the commons. “I—need to run. Now.”
“Do whatever you have to. I’ll find you later to check in.”
I nod, grateful to have his friendship and his loyalty as my beta. The shift happens faster than I’ve ever been through it, my body practically melting from two legs to four in a split second. The minute I’m my wolf, I’m on the move, snout low to the ground to catch the scent I’m after.
Loam. Pine and oak and birch. Prey. More prey, a stag I’ve been hunting for the last week. The stench of old man Elton Farrows seeping alcohol through his pores.
There—sweet, succulent mate.
I let loose a throaty howl before taking off. My claws dig into the ground to propel me faster. She hasn’t gotten more than a couple of miles from the clearing. I slow my gait when I reach her, stopping several feet off, behind a thick patch of tall ferns. She’s peering into the pond where Liam and I fish in our downtime.
He wants to go up to her. Sniff her, find all her parts that smell this good. Then lick them. His throat vibrates in pleasure and it takes way too much of my effort to cut it off before she hears us. He wrestles the little ground I gained from me, taking charge once more.
It’s not difficult to tell he’s unimpressed with me not wanting to close the distance and claim the beautiful, perfect mate fate chose for him.
I strain against the veil of our connection. She’s not our fucking fated mate. There’s no way fate would be that twisted to pair me with her.
He shakes his head, ignoring me once more. Stubborn bastard. But instead of making his presence known, he keeps his distance, observing her from afar.
When she takes off, we go with her, remaining just close enough to ensure she’s safe. At first she maps territory that’s familiar to her, finding her way to the trail head that leads north to her cottage. She marks it and my wolf does the same once she moves on to explore more.
The longer I follow her, the more satisfied my wolf is. He gradually eases back, granting me more than simple consciousness along for the ride. My thoughts become my own again now that he’s checked on her.
Yet I keep trailing her throughout her run instead of turning around to join the others. Why? Fuck if I know.
Maybe it’s still the wolf. Maybe I’m interested to see how she fares after watching her hide her crushing disappointment that she was supposedly Wolfless at her coming of age ceremony at eighteen the year before my father succumbed to the lasting injury he sustained. Her pride pissed me off then. I wanted to see her cry, but she didn’t shed a single tear when people told her she was a broken shifter.
My teeth gnash at the memory, a low chord of anger reverberating from deep in my chest.