Shift.
Something inside my chest flutters. I feel it sometimes. It’s merely a phantom sensation after a lifetime of living amongst shifters who talk nonstop about what their wolf feels like.
I gave up hoping I would join them in that experience when mine never came by the time I turned eighteen, leaving me standing alone at the ceremony that month bearing the hard stares of everyone who didn’t want a Morgan there anyway while the others chased each other in their new forms. There are late bloomers who grow up with minimal signs of their beast, but by twenty I knew the silence within me would never be filled.
I don’t draw attention to myself as I weave around groups of people, giving a wide enough berth to not be noticed as someone not welcome for the bonfire.
Sticking to the shadows where the firelight doesn’t reach, I amuse myself watching Callie Blackburn get into trouble at the drinks table with her feisty best friend, Taryn Barnes.
“I’m not supposed to serve more than three drinks,” the bartender says.
“Who said that? My brother? I’m bringing this drink to him. You’re not going to refuse our alpha another whiskey, are you?” Callie prompts. “He specifically asked me to get it for him.”
She plays up the pack princess attitude people usually give her crap for behind her back, leaning across the bar to keep the attention on her as Taryn moves to the other end of it, eyeing the selection. I smirk, catching on to what they’re doing. I’m not the only one, either. Liam's narrowed gaze is on Taryn from several feet away, already moving to push past the group of women deep in their wine glasses.
Callie keeps the guys manning the bar occupied while Taryn slips an entire bottle of liquor down her pants, flipping her shirt over it. She grins and shoots Callie a thumbs up. The triumphant expression falls off her face when Liam grabs her arm from behind.
“Can’t go one night without trouble, can you, Miss Barnes?” He pulls her into his chest and frisks her.
“Jeez, buy a girl a drink first before you try to take her out to the woods to rut her,” Taryn sasses with a laugh. “Didn’t your dam teach you any manners?”
“Didn’t yours teach you right from wrong?” he counters as he pulls the contraband free. “Yeah, guess you ditched that day of lessons. What a surprise.”
“Live a little. It’s good for you. Break one rule. Go on, I dare you.”
Liam growls, leaning over her shoulder. She snaps her teeth at him playfully, completely unthreatened and unrepentant.
Callie laughs and knocks back the drink she convinced the barkeep was for her brother. “Goddess save us all. You two should just mate already for how often you bicker. You’re worse than True Mates, always in each other's business.”
Taryn pretends to retch. “If the Goddess did me like that, I’d question why she turned her back on me.”
Liam clenches his jaw, tearing his scowl from Taryn. “Let’s go. Both of you.”
“Me?” Callie protests.
“Both of you,” Liam reiterates through his teeth, snagging her elbow while yanking Taryn close enough that her red hair snags on the dark brown scruff shadowing his jaw.
“Both at once?” Taryn fakes a gasp. “Liam, you dirty dog. I can’t wait to hear these rumors spread at breakfast tomorrow. Think it’ll reach the commissary by lunch? What will Alpha Caden say about his star lieutenant slipping off with his sister and her friend?”
The firelight is just bright enough to spot the vein throbbing above his brow. I roll my lips between my teeth and silently cheer Taryn on.
“That’s enough. You’re spending the night in the pen for stealing,” Liam says resolutely.
Callie digs her feet in and argues, “What about—?”
“You can shift in the cells and sleep in a huddle to keep each other warm for all I care,” he snaps.
I turn around when the three of them head my way, not wanting Liam to decide I’m doing something wrong, too. My chin dips to my chest and I weather the old ache of missing their friendship. When Caden went from my friend to my enemy, I also lost my relationship with all three of them. Only Taryn will speak to me these days if our paths cross.
A deep, unpleasant laugh draws my attention. Nina’s mate cozies up with two females by the other end of the drinks table, standing far too close and admiring the view their low-cut tops grant him. He’s shameless, sniffing after them when he’s forced Nina to stay home.
My lip curls. I’m definitely adding something that causes hair loss to Nina’s next sedative order. It’s the least he deserves. I hope his wolf’s fur turns out patchy, too.
It’s not uncommon to find mates messing around with others. Some chosen matings turn out to be good matches that last the test of time. Others who aren’t happy to be mated will settle their bond just to avoid the heat sickness that comes from resisting a mating frenzy, then avoid each other as long as possible.
Only those with a True Mate bond granted by fate are unable to stray because their mate is their world.
My parents had a bond like that. Their love was clear for anyone to see, always pulled to each other anywhere they went, eyes lighting up whenever they saw each other even if they’d only gone to the other room. It’s impossible to say why Mom was able to walk away from it because it drove Dad crazy after she went missing, to the point he betrayed his closest friend when he wouldn’t listen by challenging him for the alpha title.
There are only two ways to become a pack alpha—inherit it from the existing bloodline, or to take it by issuing a challenge to fight for the right to rule.
Shifters honor strength above all. The strongest survive. The strongest maintain the highest rank in the hierarchy.
I snag a roll from a table when I pass by, pleased it's still warm. It’s a shame I didn’t bring my satchel. I could’ve stocked up more for the girls. Maybe someone has an unattended bag they won’t notice by the time they shift.
My lips twitch while nibbling on the roll, a plan forming to stick around longer than I intended. The elders always run for the shortest amount of time, just long enough to stretch their old bones before they return to hang around the fire to continue gossiping. I’ll have enough time to raid the feast and be out of here before they’re back.
The roll tastes great, though my stomach clenches. I’m usually hungrier in the colder months because I make sure my sisters are fed first, but this is more difficult to ignore. I finish it and sneak another from a different table. By the time I’ve grabbed a third one, I’m restless with a craving I can’t sate.
I want more, but the drumstick I find abandoned on a plate doesn’t appeal. Making a discontented noise, I change directions to see what’s cooking on the grills.
The sight of Caden across the fire pit stops me in my tracks.
He’s with a few of his guys from the patrol crew, drinking a beer and actually smiling for once, though it’s not his full smile. I don’t know if he smiles like he used to anymore.
He hasn’t noticed me tonight. I should move on to keep it that way. Instead, I’m rooted in place, admiring the way the firelight dances off his muscled arms.
“You shouldn’t be here,” a smooth voice taunts beside my ear.
I whip around to find Lorne Blackburn. Shit. The only person worse than Caden to gain the attention of leers at me like a predator sizing up his prey. Cormac’s eldest son is three years older than Caden and he’s inherited everything from his father, including his shrewd mind.
“I was just leaving,” I say.
“I didn’t give you permission to leave yet.”
He circles me, assessing me from head to toe while I remain frozen in place. His lips curve at the pack tucked beneath my arm.