“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that.”
“WHAT?” Guy’s drummer attacked the cymbals repeatedly for some sort of “interlude” and I could hardly hear a thing.
Ethan leaned in close, his black tie hanging undone around his neck. “I SAID I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THAT.” He cupped his hand over my ear, his breath tickling my hair. “I wanted to say sorry. I was a douchebag. Not a sex addict.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m over it,” I yelled back.
“I can see that. You’re looking good, Evie.” He cocked his head, cockily.
“You should’ve seen me ten minutes ago,” I said, knowing only I would get the joke.
“Why, were you touching yourself?”
“Yes,” I deadpanned. “That’s what girls do. The moment boys leave the room, we all start touching ourselves up, just to spite you.”
He laughed so wide I could see he had two fillings, which helped put me off him a bit.
“I’ve missed you, Evie.”
“I’m still in your sociology class.”
“Yeah, but you’re always scowling at me. Whenever I hear about an odd mental condition, you’re the first person I want to tell about it.”
I suppose Ethan wasn’t to know that was hurtful, so I smiled at him. “Gee, Ethan, and whenever a boy doesn’t boff someone else on a first date, you’re the first person I want to tell about it.”
“Did you just say the word ‘boff’?”
“What’s wrong with boff?”
“Not even my mum uses the word ‘boff’,” he said.
“Well, maybe if she had, you wouldn’t have such an urgent need to boff people. People who aren’t your date. On a date.”
He laughed so hard, I could see another filling on the other side of his mouth. “You dating anyone at the moment, Evie?” He asked like a friend would, but he’d now put his sweaty arm around me.
“Umm, not really.” But my eyes instinctively went to Guy.
He was staring right at me. From the stage, a grim look on his face. Our eyes met before his went to Ethan. Then Guy turned his back so I couldn’t see his face.
Ethan saw it all. “Wow, what’s going on with you and that guy?”
“What guy?”
“That crappy singer you just eye shagged.”
“He’s not a crappy singer. And, nothing. What’s it to you, anyway?”
Ethan wiggled his eyebrows. “I can help you make him jealous?”
Guy was looking right at me again. “Huh? What? How?” I half-asked, distracted.
“Like this!”
He tugged my waist and spun me round and Ethan’s lips were on my lips, just like that. I’d always worried my lips wouldn’t know what to do but they kissed Ethan’s right back and I didn’t even think about germs or when Ethan would’ve last brushed his teeth.
Until afterwards.
I pushed him away. Hard. Though it had felt nice.
“Ethan, you can’t just kiss people!” I yelled. “That’s sexual assault.”
He grinned and shrugged. “No it’s not, it’s me repaying the karma I owe you.” He grabbed me once more and spun me. “See, it worked.”
The band was finishing their last song and Guy’s face was dark, his eyebrows screwed up. His fingers shook on the microphone and he missed a note, wrecking the climax of the song.
I couldn’t bring myself to make eye contact with him. I was shaking. “Ethan, what the hell have you done?”
He shrugged once more. “You. A favour. Promise me you won’t go after him. Let him come to you.”
“Are you writing self-help books, as well as molesting people?”
“Whatever. I’m off to win this stupid competition and then take my pick of the girls here.”
“You may not win,” I called after him, but he’d already become part of the massive crowd.
My hair was pulled from behind. It was Amber, grabbing my head into her.
“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING KISSING ETHAN?!”
Thirty-three
“Oww, you’re hurting me.”
“I don’t care,” Amber replied, still dragging me by the hair back to her spot near the stage. “What are you doing? It’s Ethan! The sex maniac. He’s supposed to be dead to you, remember?”
“He kissed me,” I grumbled.
The last throngs of metallic chords vibrated to a standstill. The band was finished. Amber let go so we could join in the lacklustre applause. I clapped, desperately trying to make eye contact with Guy but he’d stormed off the stage.
Good thought
He’s jealous? Ethan’s sexual assault…worked?
We clapped and walked at the same time, arriving back at the side of Jane, who was screaming and wolf-whistling.
“WOOOOO, YOU GO, GUYS!”
The rest of the pit joined her, yelling “ENCORE”. Joel stood right at the front of the stage, drinking it in. He ripped off his T-shirt.
“I LOOOOOOVE YOU, JOEL.”
I looked behind us to see everyone else in the cafeteria had stopped clapping politely.
“No one else is clapping,” I told Amber.
“That’s because they sucked. My ears have taken a restraining order out against me. I mean, I know it’s not my kind of music anyway, but they were much worse than in that church hall. Did you hear how many notes Guy missed?”
“No…I was…”
OCDing the hell out of the college toilets.
“Attaching yourself to Ethan’s face?” Amber suggested.
“I told you. He kissed me!”
“Yeah yeah. I can’t keep up with you. Or Lottie…who apparently isn’t heartbroken any more.” Amber pointed. To the bar. Where there was a queue. And no Teddy.
“She went to get another round in and never came back. Leaving me with Courtney Love here.” She pointed to Jane, who was throwing devil signs and was the last one screaming. “I wish you two would stop running off and leaving me alone like an actual spinster rather than a reinvented spinster. It is bad enough being six foot and ginger, without standing around like Loner Lonington of Lonersville.”
“I’m sorry. I just got…held up in the bathroom. And then Ethan attacked my face.”
“Well, if it was to make Guy jealous, it worked.”
IT WORKED!?
“You think?” I said.
“Well he’s stormed offstage, hasn’t he? I watched the whole thing. Because that’s what I do, watch other people find one another attractive.”
I gave her a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. “Please don’t tell me you’re jealous of Ethan attacking me.”
“Please don’t tell me you’re going to do anything about Guy.”
“I…”
“He’s bad for you, Evie.” She said it with such venom I felt I was being told off.
BAD THOUGHT
It’s just because she’s jealous.
NASTY THOUGHT
It’s just because no one wants to kiss her.
BAD THOUGHT
She’s trying to control you.
“You know what else is bad for me?” I snapped. “Having you ALWAYS telling me what to do.”
Her mouth fell open.
“Evie…come on.” Her auburn eyebrows drew together in hurt. “I’m just looking out for you.”
“Well stop!” I turned on my heel to leave.
“Where are you going?”
“I’m getting some air.”
“You are coming to the Spinster Club meeting tomorrow, aren’t you?”
But her sad voice was lost in the air.
Thirty-four
Guilty guilty guilty.
Horrid horrid horrid.
I was a horrid person. I should feel guilty.
I was also SO angry.
Why did she keep going on about Guy? Why did they keep teasing me about him? I just wanted a boy to like me, one that I liked too. It was such a normal thing to want – why did they keep barging in? All judgy? If they were so judgy about this, then imagine how awful they’d be if I ever told them about me.
I wormed my way through the crowd. I needed to get out of that stuffy cafeteria.