What was the inspiration behind writing Am I Normal Yet?
I really wanted to write about relapse – and how being labelled with a mental health problem changes how you view yourself. I work for a charity website, TheSite.org, and we were launching a sister website called Madly In Love. It’s all about how mental health impacts relationships and vice-versa – and Evie just came to me! I loved the idea of exploring how much “crazy” is “normal” when you’re dating someone who never lets you know where you stand.
What first got you interested in feminism?
I always had this feeling growing up that something was…wrong…but couldn’t quite work out why I was feeling so icky. I had this constant conflict inside of me between feeling something wasn’t right, but then also wanting to partake in the wrongness. I remember one rainy day at school, the boys decided to spend their lunch-hour lining all us girls up in order of who had the nicest arse. Half of me thought, “this is disgusting” and the other half thought, “I hope I win”.
It was only in my twenties, when the fourth wave of feminism hit, that I was like – hang on – I LIKE THIS. I LIKE WHAT YOU’RE SAYING VERY MUCH. And, How To Be A Woman by Caitlin Moran really did change my life. It made feminism FUNNY, and approachable, and it was like a big fat fire was lit inside of me. I really think humour is the best gateway drug into feminism. Start with the ridiculous, like, I know, I’ll spend forty quid painfully waxing off all my pubes, even though no one ever sees them…then build up to the big stuff – rape culture, abuse, female genital mutilation, rights to education…
Evie, Amber and Lottie call themselves “The Spinster Club” – did you ever take part in a similar group growing up?
When I was sixteen, me and two friends were the only single girls on Valentine’s Day. So we had a sleepover and called ourselves The Spinster Club as a joke. It really was the best fun ever. But it more involved dancing to a band called Feeder (yep, I’m old) and eating raw cookie mixture than making strategic plans to overthrow the patriarchy.
When I knew I wanted to write a trilogy about a feminism grassroots group, I pondered for ages about what they’d call themselves. That’s when I remembered my own Spinster Club, and dug out all my old stuff. I wish my sixteen-year-old self could’ve known that her singleton Valentine’s Day would inspire a trilogy of books I’d have published over a decade later.
Even now, just meeting up with my female friends and having a chat is where so much of my love of feminism comes from. Just a cup of tea, some cheesy snacks, and a natter about HOW FREAKING WEIRD it is to be a girl in a patriarchal world. It doesn’t have to be serious, either. I literally cried laughing recently, having an argument about whether it’s “unfeminist” to be scared of pooing at your boyfriend’s house.
What’s your go-to cheesy snack?
Nachos. Life’s just better with nachos.
What research did you do for the book?
A lot. I spent a lot of time grilling Cognitive Behaviour Therapists and psychotherapists, and young people with OCD, to make being in Evie’s head as real as I could. I felt a huge pressure to represent OCD accurately and sensitively. This is incredibly difficult as OCD manifests itself in so many unique ways – I’d never be able to cover everyone’s “version”. But, when Evie came alive in my head, the key thing was how annoyed she was that she had the “clichéd” version of OCD and I had to pay homage to that.
Did writing the book change your own ideas about feminism and mental health?
My ideas about feminism and mental health continue to change and grow as I learn more. And that’s what needs to be embraced more. Enlightenment is a journey – we can’t expect to know it all and get it all right the moment we decide to fight for something we believe in. We shouldn’t yell at people for “getting it wrong” if they’re at a different stage in their learning. We shouldn’t be yelling at anyone identifying as a feminist, period! When feminists start in-squabbling, I’m always reminded of that scene in The Hunger Games when Finnick yells to Katniss about remembering who the real enemy is. I’ve grown so much as a feminist in the process of writing these books, and I really hope my readers will see my own learning and development as they make their way through the trilogy.
Did you have a “film that got you into films”?
I am a huge film geek. And, like Evie, I have a top five list honed to perfection:
1) The Usual Suspects
2) American Beauty
3) Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
4) The Matrix
5) Thelma and Louise
Are there any specific books that inspired you to write this book?
The Georgia Nicolson books will always be a huge inspiration to me – and they’ll always make me want to write books about hilarious girls having hysterical friendships.
Another book that influenced this is an odd one – The Beach by Alex Garland. I loved how the reader goes mad with him, as he goes mad in the book… I really wanted to capture that too. I want my readers to feel disjointed and uneasy and attacked and fragmented as they read Am I Normal Yet? to get a sense of what it’s like when your brain is like that all the time.
Can you give us a hint of what’s next for the Spinster Club?
The Spinster Club is GOING INTERNATIONAL. In the next book, Amber is going to have All The Things happen to her at an American summer camp. Plus, there are NICE BOYS in the next book. As I’m aware of all the über-douche male characters in Am I Normal Yet?
And Lottie is going to take on the ENTIRE PATRIARCHY in book three. I’m so excited I can hardly type.
Are there any messages in particular you would like readers to take away with them?
That’s not up for me to decide – it’s up to you guys.
…but if any of you do read this, and do decide to set up your own Spinster Club – please let me know. Because it would make my day/week/life!
Find out more about Holly:
@holly_bourneYA
www.facebook.com/Holly.BourneYA
www.hollybourne.co.uk
Want to read more about Am I Normal Yet?, OCD, feminism, bad boyfriends and the importance of cheesy snacks?
Join us online at: www.hollybourne.co.uk
#100DaysofNormal
#AmINormalYet
Read it. Love it. Share it.
Join the conversation online. Post about Am I Normal Yet? on your Facebook timeline or Twitter feed:
For up-to-date news from Holly Bourne:
www.hollybourne.co.uk
Acknowledgements
I would firstly like to thank Andy*, for sleeping with someone else on my very first date. And then blaming it on having nymphomania. Us writers need emotionally-scarring things like that to happen to us at sixteen – thanks for obliging. I couldn’t have made it up.
I’d also like to thank the original spinsters – Rachel and Emily – for Valentine’s Day 2003. Who would’ve thought our singleton sleepover would become a trilogy of books? Thank you for always being hilarious and mad. I still treasure my Spinster Club membership card.
Finding Evie took me to A Very Dark Place, and I want to express my enormous gratitude for everyone around me who yanked me back into the light. Mum, Dad – I owe you everything. Thanks for teaching me to question everything, and how to be strong. Thank you to my beautiful sisters, Eryn and Willow. Ruth, thanks for taking my late-night phonecalls. Owen, you were incredible and I am so grateful. And thank you to my girly gang, Amy, Katie, Lisa – for keeping me upbeat with crisps, dips and poo stories. I couldn’t have got through it without you. Particularly the poo stories.