I’d thought Bubbe or Mother might have offered some advice for me-but neither had. Neither had even mentioned my trip, although I knew both were aware of it. My family…pretty much of the sink or swim on your own mindset.
I gripped the steering wheel for a few moments. The tendons of my hand shone white from the stress. I could do this. I could walk back into that house, even into the room where I’d lost my son. Maybe I’d gain something from this visit. If I could beard this lion, I could do anything.
The engine turned over so smoothly, I didn’t even realize my hand had turned the key.
Determination a hard rock in my heart, I continued down the drive.
The Amazons were out, exercising the horses, working in the garden, and, of course, fighting. The big guns were back at my house, but what looked like a pair of younger Amazons faced off with staffs, performing moves that would easily qualify them for a role in a Jackie Chan movie.
When I pulled in, horses were reined to a stop, pruners stilled, and staffs slowed. All eyes watched me. Resisting the urge to place my hands on my head, I stepped from the truck.
Before both of my feet met gravel, Alcippe was out the front door, her hands held deceptively at her sides, palms facing me. With the theme song from The Good, the Bad and the Ugly scrolling through my head, I stepped onto the path that led to the front door.
Alcippe shared my grandmother’s love of a flowing wardrobe, although hers didn’t scream of any one culture-more just hippie-shop chic. Her gray hair was pulled back, making her jaw look more square, her eyes more piercing.
“Why are you here?” She looked like she wanted to spit.
“Not to see you.”
She muttered something under her breath, and I was instantly on alert. A high priestess muttering was much like a gunslinger’s finger flickering near his six-shooter-or worse, it could be the bullet. But nothing happened, nothing I could see or sense anyway.
“Zery wants to trust you. I don’t,” she said, then turned in a whirl of purple and red, heading back inside.
Ah, an insult. Telling the tribe she was so unafraid of me, she’d turn her back.
I picked up a rock and tossed it in my palm. I considered throwing it, just to get out some aggression, and for the satisfying feel of pelting it against her back. Instead, I forgot myself even more, allowed myself to use magic. Even though I’d been hiding my growing skills from my family, I couldn’t resist pulling them out when faced with Alcippe. I murmured a tiny incantation, just something to get her attention-not show my true strength, not yet…unless I needed to.
I closed my other hand and blew into my balled fist.
As I’d guessed, Alcippe’s turned back was a ruse. She hadn’t lowered all her defenses. She immediately sensed the magic and froze.
A tornado whirled within my grip-innocent now, but if I released it, said the few words it would take to let it grow…could it reach the old woman, suck her up, and swirl her away before she had a chance to fight back?
Alcippe didn’t give me an opportunity to find out. She whirled, her hands rising from her sides. Grass shot up at my feet, wrapping around my legs. A nearby tree lurched, the roots shifting beneath my feet, knocking me onto my knees.
Then three of the young warriors were beside me. Three staffs jammed against my throat. Alcippe appeared, her face upside-down from my present state of viewing.
“Be grateful Zery gave you safe passage…this time.” Then she did spit, inches from my face.
The tornado spun in my fist, growing with my anger. My fingers loosened. I wanted to let it go as badly as I’d ever wanted anything, but I wasn’t strong enough to control the magic, not yet. I could create it, but then it would feed on my emotions, uncontrolled by my head. I might get Alcippe, but I’d also get every Amazon in the camp. I’d be unable to do anything except watch as the entire place was flattened, then the remains swept up and away.
Gritting my jaw until I thought the bone would pop, I forced down my anger, smashed my palm into the dirt and ground the life out of my spell.
“You heard her. Zery gave me safe passage. Who do you follow, the queen or her?” I muttered.
Alcippe had started moving away; at my words she stopped, but she didn’t say anything. She knew I’d called her hand.
The warrior most visible, the one whose staff was jabbed against my throat, licked her lips, but she didn’t glance at the others. I kept my focus on her, steady and sure.
With no warning, she stepped back. The others quickly followed.
Rubbing my throat with one hand, I pushed myself out of the gravel with the other. Bits of it clung to my jeans. I brushed off the backs of my legs, pretended not to feel Alcippe’s glare on the top of my head.
How I wanted to rise up and attack, but this wasn’t about me, and Zery had risked a lot by giving me passage. If I attacked Alcippe now, the priestess would win. She’d be proven right, her standing elevated-even if I killed her, she’d survive in martyrdom. I couldn’t have that. I wanted to take from her what she’d taken from me-what we each valued most. For me, it had been one of my children; for her, it would be her standing in the tribe.
I wanted her to mess up, and I wanted to be the person to expose her. I wanted to take her down.
I stood, and captured Alcippe’s gaze. “Another time?”
“Soon,” she responded.
I smiled, then turned my back on her as she’d done to me earlier. The warriors parted, and I took a breath. Adrenaline pumped through me, but I needed calm to gain trust. Calm and strong, that was the persona that would enable me to get more. I squared my shoulders and grabbed the attention of the warrior I’d pegged as the leader.
“Anyone here know either of the girls who were killed?”
Her gaze flowed down my body, assessing me. I angled my head, showing I expected an answer but was confident enough to wait for it.
Finally…“All of us. At least somewhat.”
“But some more than others?”
“Some.”
Ah, the joys of conversing with a warrior. Knowing I wasn’t going to get many clues from her, I surveyed the rest of the tribe, looking to see who seemed most interested and most nervous. One of the women working in the garden showed a sudden interest in removing a stubborn weed. She bent down and hid her face.
I stepped away from the warriors, on a straight path to the hearth-keeper now up to her neck in pumpkin leaves.
I bent down beside her and rolled over a pumpkin, checking for rot. She glanced up. “Are you a hearth-keeper?” she murmured. She was young and pretty, with a round face and caring eyes.
The pumpkin was solid, orange, and ready for picking. I gave it a thump for effect, then twisted it off the vine. “I’m not anything. I take care of what needs taking care of.”
A line formed between her brows. She was having a hard time fitting my words into the tidily divided world of the Amazons.
“You know why I’m here.”
She glanced up. One of the older hearth-keepers picked up a hoe and chopped at the ground. I moved to the side, blocking her view. “Zery sent me.” It was a stretch, but close enough. “I heard some of the girls were sneaking off to Madison. You know anything about that?”
Her gaze danced around the clearing, but when it landed back on me, I could see she’d made a decision. “A few of us. We’ve been doing it for a while.”
Jackpot. I jerked another pumpkin from the vine and shoved it into her hands. “Don’t we need to put these somewhere cool? So they don’t rot?”
“Good idea.” She rubbed dirt from her pumpkin with a rag she had tucked in her jeans, then stood. We walked past the glarer, neither of us sparing her a glance. I changed my walk, putting as much warrior swagger into it as I could muster. I could have tossed a little magic her way, but that would have just got Alcippe back on my ass. Besides, Bubbe always said the greatest strength was great restraint. Not something I usually practiced, but now seemed like a smart time to start.