“It's Lilli. Since she got her eye fixed, well, she's pretty now, and she met this guy, and so, well, she told me that she loved me and we were close for a long time. We talked about how we could be together even after we were both married, but it was all a lie. I overheard her telling everyone how she was just using me to get magic and how bad I was in bed! She said I was a slut, but I've hardly been with anyone compared to her. She found a guy, she said and he gives her things, stuff you made, worth thousands of golds, and now no one will even talk to me… Everyone is gone. I have no lovers or friends or anything.” He'd never heard total dejection before he realized, not even when he'd thought his own life was over. It tore at his heart and nearly made him cry.
Oh. Well, crap.
“I see. Well, that's not going to last long, is it? Box only has so much to give away after all. I gave him a few things to pass along to some girl that's basically whoring herself for trinkets. I guess we know who that is now. He's trying to string them out, but… I guess in a way it's my fault. Well, she's only one of your friends. Aren't you arranging a marriage to David Derring? He's a good sort. Probably my favorite Countier, and that's including my own brothers.” It was a desperation move, since as far as he knew she'd only met the guy once, maybe twice.
She shook her head.
“No, the bloodlines don't work out. It seemed OK at first, but the lines are just on the wrong side of close. He was sweet about the whole thing and… we had sex first, before we knew, it isn't dangerous close, but not socially correct either. Only a little gross though, second cousins more or less. So that's not happening. Everyone is gone. Everyone…” She sobbed again, wet sounding and runny.
“Well not to deny you your moment of grief, which it sounds like you've earned… Been there myself a time or two… Seems to me I wasn't very constructive about it either, made a super-weapon and acted like an ass to a bunch of innocent people mainly. I hope you can skip that part? It's not worth it in the end. It feels like the only way at the time, but it's not. Remember, people love you. Real people that actually count. Your real friends. People that do more than use you for things.”
She sniffled loudly and half wailed at him.
“Like who? And don't say my family! They don't love me, they just put up with me because it's easier than explaining how a whole Princess disappeared. Everyone loves Varley, and Alphonse is the god of men and love of women everywhere…. I'm just the one that… is. The filling in the middle that everyone kind of wishes wasn't there at all. Trout pudding in a cream roll. Mom and Dad haven't even tried to really teach me how to rule. They've taught Varley instead. What does that mean? If Alphie dies I'm not going to make it long am I? Probably a good reason to keep him alive, but not very reassuring as to being loved, is it?”
Ah. Not good. Even if there was an innocent reason for it, trying to really explain it to a distraught and hurting person wasn't going to be easy. Even if she was just wrong, that she thought it was true was enough.
The Prince stood and paced for a few seconds.
“I know why that is, but… Karina, you're not going to like it. I… I promised not to tell you, but I had to know, being the heir… When you were born the doctors diagnosed you with a rare and horrible disorder, I can hardly say the name, it's too awful…” Tor could sense the attempt at humor and frowned. It was the wrong time for it.
Rolph did that, tried to use humor when things got stressful for him.
Horrified Karina looked up, “really?”
Great. Just wonderful. The punch line approached and Tor knew it was going to be bad. He hugged her tighter and shook his head.
“Rolph, don't. It's just a stupid joke Karina. He's going to tell you that you're full of shit or something equally stupid. Then tell you that you have been getting the same education he has, if with less math and what Varley is getting is mainly so when she ends up the Countess whatever or even a Duchess, she can be of value to her husband and her people. What are they teaching you?” The question was a good one, she'd mentioned it to him once, how different her classes were than the others.
“Um, history, geography, fighting, useless stuff to keep me busy while everyone else learns about money and useful things like that. And I take notes for the Counts Council. Endless gods awful notes. My hand aches right this moment from it.” As if to prove her point she rubbed her right hand pitifully and a little girl sad face by pursing her lips just a little, holding it out so Tor could see.
It came to him in a flash, a deep thing that he didn't really understand, but it was right. The feeling was there, the sense of wholeness, a real plan, not just happenstance.
Tor started crying.
It looked weak and stupid, but he didn't hide it. She needed to see that he cared. That was more important than his ego. Wasn't it? Finally she asked him what was wrong, looking perplexed.
“Don't you see? Gods it's so unfair… Rolph, Alphonse, has been trained to be a King during a time of peace. You're being trained… to take his place when everything else is lost, and all that's left is war. Then Varley, you'll need her to take over to set it all right. Because if it comes to it… I don't think anyone expects you to survive the war either. Or if you do… I don't think you'll be exactly… sane. Not the way they're training you, certainly not a good leader for peace at any rate. If that happens you'll need to step aside, and let her take over for the good of the kingdom.” He held her as Rolph gave him a shocked look and started crying too. Fat tears, real ones, rolling down his cheeks silently.
Varley looked at her brother.
“You knew all this? I mean, it makes sense, now that it's pointed out, but, you knew?”
“Yeah. For a couple of years. It's why I was packed away to “learn to be humble” school and she was encouraged to practice fighting, and learn the history of war and battle while being a little wild. Not reckless, but tough. Hard. The kind of person that sees death dust eating her cousin’s arm and not only figures out what to do, but does it. I would have frozen. I couldn't have done it and then Trice would be dead. Oh, she may never thank you for it, but you saved more than her life. A lot of people hang in the balance with her. More than I can say…” Frustratingly he didn't say more. Tor was tempted to try and get it from his field but didn't. Not every secret was for him to know. Not even about Trice. It nagged at him, but that was just too bad.
As if to make the point for him his friend just shook his big head and said he couldn't tell him or let him know. But that he should love her as best he could.
Not cryptic or anything. Not at all.
Karina seemed slightly shaken, but didn't keep crying at least. Tor just felt tired. Couldn't any of them just be kids? Just do stupid stuff, get married and have a job? They all looked pretty bad, except for Varley, who hadn't been beaten or crying. Tor passed the healing device. It didn't change Rolph's eye color, so that only happened with severe ocular damage? Well it was something. He needed to fix that though. Brown was OK, but things like Karina's old friend Lilli could happen, and leave mismatched eyes. Or the device could fail to heal her of bitchiness at all. That was an obvious design flaw on his part. He apologized to Karina for it, getting a weak laugh.
It was something at least.
When they went back a plan was outlined. He'd get his three days to work, starting right after Alphonse came back from apologizing, then, if Maria could handle the sight of the Prince at all, he'd come back and try to make sure Tor didn't work for two weeks. Possibly longer. Tor didn't like that part at all. It sounded like a trap, not a reward for a job well done. Then, had he done well?
Well, he was alive, but really, he could have done that even better staying in the woods where he'd come from. No one even tried to kill him there.