Reilly Brennan, Anna Tes, Nate Luzod, and particularly Shane Mahoney deserve special thanks for their incredible work in publicizing an earlier, self-published version of this book. I’m also grateful to my agent, Ryan Harbage, for doing a superlative job in representing me, and for going to the mat for me when it counted most.
Jon Wagner and Tony Cokes inspired me with their teaching. Jason Kasarda kept me laughing all the way, every day.
It’s been a thrill to work with the Simon & Schuster team. Giant thanks to Jen Bergstrom for bringing me into the fold; to Jen Robinson for getting the word out; and to Michael Nagin for a great cover. Extra-special thanks to Emilia Pisani for her invaluable assistance in the editing process. And to Jeremie Ruby-Strauss, my talented editor-at-large, thanks for taking a chance on me when no one else would. I’m grateful.
Willie Timberlake gets a big-time tip of the hat here, for allowing me to reprint several large portions verbatim from the many letters he sent me over the years. These were wild epistles, from a strange and talented brain. In fact, T, your stuff was so good, and reeked so deeply of the real you, that I couldn’t resist snatching quite a few key phrases and putting them in your mouth. I have three pairs of slacks suitable for work. Only one of them has cum stains on them. Well, me too, Will. Me too. I’ll await your upcoming book with great anticipation. I sense it will be clever, disgusting, relentless, and wise: just like you.
My single greatest nod is owed to Julian Hoeber. Not only did he read every word in this book at least twice, he talked me through nearly every major structural decision. He spent hours on the phone convincing me that I had no choice but to write this book truthfully—which of course meant delving into all the embarrassing stuff I wanted so badly to forget. Without Julian, I would have quit; in fact, I might well not have started. That I made it to this point at all is testament to his considerable skills as a remarkably lucid thinker and generous friend.
And finally, I Owe a considerable debt to the people I met at every step along the way in the sex industry. Thank you for taking me in, allowing me to see your lives, and making me one of you. In retrospect, it was all a bit much ... but I still wouldn’t change a thing.
* * *
Malibu is marketed as a place to escape, and many people іесе.ке і that way But it is deathly lonely as well, and no one ever speaks >1 that part. Neighbors exist only behind the tint of their black BMWs. When they come knocking at your door, it is not to welcome you to the neighborhood It was an ideal place to make degenerate pornography.
This villa was richly fuck-ugly, it rented for ten grand a month, its net worth was $IO million, and yet it was putrid, just obscenely sick I breathed in the essence of the house and its walls and its monstrous oaken furnishings, and knew what I would do here.
Like those who had lived here before me I smelled the money.