“Are you saying you offered to murder him?” asked Jacob eagerly.
“That’s a strong word, friend. I wouldn’t call it murder to send a man on his way without ever laying a finger on him. I asked her about his weaknesses, and she mentioned something I thought I could use.”
“And that was?”
“Religion.” The man took a fresh cigarillo from his inside pocket and waved it at the church. “Van der Meer was a devout atheist who seethed at the sight or sound of anything remotely pious. I immediately devised what seemed to me an appropriate plan, and I presented it to her. Might I trouble you again for a light, friend? And here, have another yourself.”
The man laid a hand on Jacob’s wrist. Neither of them paid me the slightest attention.
“That very evening, I appeared at their door. She admitted me, as prearranged. That in itself infuriated Van der Meer, the idea that she would permit a stranger to invade his sanctum. I informed him, quite humbly, that I was there to return a book. ‘A book?’ he said. ‘I never loan out my books.’ ‘I didn’t borrow it,’ I said, ‘I found it lying beside your trash can.’ I extended it to him, and he cried out in horror: ‘A Bible? What makes you think that belongs to me? I’ve never owned a Bible in my life!’ ‘That’s very strange,’ said I, ‘for your name is inscribed in it.’ His face turned bright red, and he shrieked, ‘Take it away! Remove that wretched volume from my sight!’ I said, ‘The seven plagues of Egypt will afflict you, brother, if you insult God’s word in such a detestable manner.’ He cursed at me and screamed, ‘Get out, you vile liar! Get out!’ I stood before him, opened the book, and showed him his name. And that was the coup de grâce. His eyes rolled up in their sockets, he shook uncontrollably, and he collapsed to the ground, stone dead. But let me tell you what happened next: his widow began to dance. She was now a wealthy woman, she exulted. She would sell the house, it would surely bring at least two million euros, she would travel to sunny climes, indulge herself in cruises, I can’t remember the full shopping list. I began to feel pity for the corpse. After this tasteless exhibition, she telephoned for an ambulance, her voice trembling, and — without so much as a thank you — showed me to the door.”
“Women,” sighed Jacob. “Such heartless creatures.”
“You are exactly right, friend. We must beware their treachery. Well, I offered 2.3 million for the house, and the paperwork awaits completion. The professor left behind no power of attorney, so the widow Van der Meer is required to make an appearance at the signing. And that will be difficult.”
“Is she already gone?”
“Not quite. Her... departure still needs to be attended to. I would value some assistance, and if you’re inclined to volunteer I will reward you more than generously. You seem to be a man with a gray future before him, yourself in some need of assistance. Am I correct, friend?”
“Gray?” said Jacob. “My future’s black, ebony. What can I do to help you?”
“This neighborhood is crowded with tourists, no one will notice two gentlemen strolling leisurely toward the Hobbemakade with a trunk on wheels. The canal there is surely sufficiently deep, and there are brief gaps in the traffic when the lights at the crossings turn red. She weighs 130 pounds at most, and is perhaps five feet nine or ten in height — or should I say that she was five-nine or -ten? I believe she must have been a jogger, since her long legs — once so alluring to Van der Meer’s goatish eyes — were too tightly muscled for an ordinary steak knife.”
“Jacob,” I said, filled with revulsion, “don’t listen to any more of this bullshit. Let’s go inside, I’m cold.”
“With the exception of a few soft spots, the rest is rather lean, tough meat. That particular part of the process is as yet incomplete, and I could certainly use your help there as well, my friend. It would be best, I think, to wait until the blood has fully coagulated. Van der Meer may well have decorated his home with the finest available artwork, but he doesn’t seem to have paid much attention to the outfitting of his bathrooms. There are a number of broken tiles in the floor, and those will have to be thoroughly scrubbed.”
“Jacob, seriously, don’t listen to this lunatic!”
“If we can’t fit her into the trunk, there’s also a carry-on bag with wheels that we can use.”
My name was called and, almost gagging, I said, “Please, Jacob, let’s go in.”
He didn’t react, his eyes and ears riveted on the stranger, who whispered, barely audibly, “It’s a nice little piece, the fabric is a Scottish tartan, so even if there is some blood, it won’t show.”
“Jacob, for God’s sake!”
“Yeah, I, ah, I’ll be right in,” he murmured distractedly.
They seated me at a little table by a window. I peered over the top of my menu and saw them standing there outside, their heads close together. When a server came to take my order, I told her I was waiting for someone. She asked if I wanted a drink, and I said I’d have a glass of the house white.
When I turned my attention back to the window, they were gone. I have to admit that it was cowardice that kept me in my chair. I couldn’t eat a thing, just sat there pouring glass after glass of wine down my throat. The place emptied out, the chairs were turned upside down and put on the tables, and I just sat there with no idea what to do.
I tried repeatedly to reach Jacob over the next couple of days, but his phone went straight to voice mail and at night his apartment windows were dark. I kept asking myself what could have happened to him and was plagued by the most gruesome images. I even walked along the Hobbemakade a couple of times, searching for something floating in the water.
So you can understand how relieved I was earlier this evening when I walked into Café Wildschut — one of my regular after-work hangouts — and spotted Jacob sitting in one of the shadowy corners in the back room. And you can understand how surprised I was to see him in the company of a woman — and not just any woman, no, but the one and only Martha. They looked so lovey-dovey I decided not to disturb them, and I hesitated for a second, debating whether it would be the better part of valor to take a seat at the bar or just leave the place altogether.
At that moment, Jacob glanced up and saw me and waved. Smiling broadly, the two of them stood and approached me. Martha handed Jacob her glass of wine so she could wrap me in an exuberant hug. I smelled expensive perfume, and saw over her shoulder that Jacob’s hair was freshly cut and he was wearing a sharp new suit that must have set him back more than he could possibly afford on his salary.
“How nice to run into you both,” I managed.
“Back atcha,” said Jacob. “We’re gonna go out and grab a smoke. Come with, and we’ll tell you about our plans.”
A few seconds later, we settled around one of the high-tops on the terrace.
Martha squeezed my arm and said, “We’re leaving tomorrow.”
“Leaving?” I glanced at Jacob, who avoided my eyes. “I was afraid you were already gone.”
He grinned and shook two cigarettes out of a pack. “We got fantastic job offers.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean what I say, my friend. Our worries are over. A new life awaits us.”