“An omission is a lie,” Lady Penelope added. “Come to London with me for what remains of the season, Lady Farnsworth. If you remain here as his tenant, the scandal will never go away.”
Arabella hesitated. She did not want to become a pawn in any disagreement, but if she stayed here then she would likely be in the thick of it all.
Merrick raked his hands through his hair and glared at his aunt. “Damn you. Why couldn’t you just stay away?”
Lady Penelope offered a wry smile. “Because you are family, and no matter what happens, the family reputation always comes first,” she said simply. “Lady Farnsworth is a little wiser now, and I’m content. I’ll return below and wait for her.”
She glided out, leaving them alone again.
Merrick hurried to squeeze her hands as if she might need comforting. “The situation is not exactly how she painted it.”
“Then how is it exactly? You have a special license in your possession. You have raised the expectations of two young women to the point where they await a proposal. How could you think so little of their feelings that you begin with me?”
He grabbed her by the arms and steered her to the nearest chair. Although she disliked allowing him to push her about, she needed the chair and sat gratefully.
He knelt at her feet as he’d done the night she’d sought shelter in his home. Her throat closed at the memory. “I do have a special license. My grandfather sent it to me, as he sent one to every grandson he has. I have admired you from afar for a long time and never considered I’d have a chance to win your affections. Yes, I began the season looking for a bride. I had not settled on either of the women my aunt mentioned. Then I kissed you by mistake and then you needed me. I liked that better than finding myself a bride. I acted selfishly, I admit.”
A little of her disappointment faded. He had been a friend when she’d needed one most and it was Arabella who had changed things. All she needed to do now was prepare to make as graceful an exit as possible. “It seems my friendship has come at a high price to you. You had plans that I’ve blundered into.”
“I’ve not offered for anyone but you.”
She nodded, but it made no difference. “But you should. Lady Mary is a lovely girl, very pretty and a great conversationalist, and young. Her father is well connected and her dowry is large. She would make an excellent countess.”
He shook his head. “I asked you to marry me.”
“I have not agreed.” She gathered her strength, stood, and faced the window. “You would do better with Lady Mary. Your family expects the match and more importantly so does she.”
Merrick was on his feet in an instant. He grabbed her arms and turned her to face him again. “I will not offer for Lady Mary or anyone else. I want to marry you and grow as close as two people in love could be. I hope you will place no faith in anything else my aunt may have said.”
“No. I am capable of making up my own mind.” Arabella met his gaze, her chest hurting badly for the end of their affair. She would not continue to see him when he had two women waiting for him to propose to them. “I thank you for your kind offer, sir, but I must decline.”
When he ran his fingers through his hair, Arabella longed to straighten it again. “I feared it was too soon.”
“No, Merrick, it is far too late.” She sighed deeply. “Your aunt has invited me to spend some time with her and I feel that is a sensible decision.”
“Well, I do not.” He took a deep breath and drew her into the circle of his arms. “I am in love with you, Arabella, and I will prove my worth. Wait and see.”
His kiss was urgent and left Arabella breathless. When he left with no further mention of marriage, Arabella’s throat closed. A surge of unfamiliar longing swept her.
Was it because he was a good man that she refused? She would not be the cause of his loss of honor. He had raised a young woman’s expectations past the point of turning back. He should marry Lady Mary or Miss Milne. He should make either one love him. It would be easy.
She tightened his banyan about her body and rubbed he hands over the rich material. She would never have his arms about her again and already she missed that. Merrick had given Arabella everything she needed to be happy and safe. She owed him for his protection and for overlooking her omission of her virginity. But with all he’d done, all he’d promised and delivered, that did not mean a marriage between them was in his best interests.
CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR
Merrick did his best to keep a civil tongue in his head, but his aunt’s continued references to Lady Mary and Miss Milne before Arabella set his teeth on edge. Arabella was much too pale, much too timid now. She would not meet his eye, and if Aunt Pen kept bringing up the misunderstanding, she might never look at him again.
Luckily, Grayling and his wife had arrived unannounced and ended any plans to travel that day. Merrick had already had the carriage put away again and was biding his time until he could speak to Arabella alone. He was not going to marry Miss Milne or Lady Mary. Neither of them were Arabella, but there were two other reasons he wouldn’t change his mind.
First, Arabella had accepted his half brothers’ existence with not even a ripple of distress. She’d even guessed about Holland. Then there was her kindness to young Danny to consider. There was no reason for the boy to be lodged in the house. He would be perfectly comfortable in the stables with Jimmy and the others. Placing young Danny beside Holland in Winslette House had won his brothers over completely.
Second, until presented with the omitted details of his hunt for a bride, she’d stood up to Aunt Penelope. The first woman he’d ever witnessed doing so and that moment had been glorious. She might not have answered his proposal of marriage the way he’d hoped, but she wouldn’t listen to false criticism. But then the tables had turned against him, and he’d been battling just to have her look at him.
He should not have rushed his proposal. He should have waited, as he’d suspected was the right course from the beginning. He tried to catch her eye one more time, but she turned toward her visitors instead. “Gray, I need to speak with you in private,” he whispered.
Grayling frowned. “About Miss Milne or Lady Mary?”
He scowled at his aunt. She’d done her work well if even Grayling had picked up on those names. “Neither.”
Grayling’s wife had a talent for deflecting discussion to the three little girls surrounding her—the apples of their father’s eye and also their new mother’s. The middle child, Maisy, wasn’t so docile as to sit still. She climbed onto Arabella’s lap and snuggled against her. His heart skipped a beat at the expression of tenderness on Arabella’s face. She appeared completely enthralled by the little girl, her eyes growing soft and full of love. Merrick wanted that for Arabella so badly his heart ached. To make her part of his family so she would never be alone again and might, if they were lucky, have a daughter of their own. “Would you come with me?”
He led Grayling into the quieter library and shut the door. “Arabella refused my offer of marriage, thanks, I believe, in no small part to my aunt’s presence and her accusations that I’d raised hopes in those two young ladies she keeps mentioning.”
Suddenly, Grayling was before him, his hand fisted in his cravat, his expression furious. “I don’t care what your aunt has to say. That isn’t good enough for Arabella. Ask again.”
Merrick fought to free himself and put distance between them. “Believe me, I have not changed my mind about wanting to marry her. I’m just not certain that what I say is getting through anymore. She believes my aunt’s accusations that I led those women on. I paid little more interest than any man considering marriage. Let me explain how things began, and perhaps you can suggest a way forward.”