Later I remembered Vlad IV of Romania, who had abolished poverty by burning up the poor. I wondered how well and for how long this had worked.
* The dislikes we have are such a mystery! My friend Seth was always terrified of whales, although he never met any, and I once met a little Afghan girl who screamed whenever she heard an airplane. Later I found out that an airplane had killed her parents and transformed her into a paraplegic.
3. DIFFICULTIES OF THE MIRACLE WORKER (1982)
And when they meet those who believe, they say, We believe; and when they are alone with their devils, they say: Surely we are with you; we were only mocking.
Allah will pay them back their mockery, and He leaves them alone in their inordinacy, blindly wandering on.
King’s “Restaurant” for lunch. He ordered chicken fry with nan.* The chicken was literally a skeleton in chicken-flavored oil. Evidently the bird had been boiled and boiled into soup, and somebody else had ordered the soup. — As he was a foreigner, he was brought a knife and fork. The waiter and the owner stared with almost religious interest at his attempts to eat with these utensils, which he had seen before in this life, but which had never been applied by him to such difficult usages. The skeleton swam about halfheartedly (if that is the right word) when his proxies pursued it through its frictionless bath. The liquid ran through the tines of his fork. A perfect drop of oil remained on each point after immersion, so every now and then he raised the fork to his mouth coolly, as if he were getting somewhere, and sucked at it. It tasted as if they had cooked the entrails and feathers along with the bones. Fishing politely for a velvety snippet of blood clot or rooster’s comb at the bottom of the dish, he accidentally overturned the skeleton and discovered some meat on the wing. The fork and knife could not pull it loose, however, as he hadn’t been raised in France or Italy, where in the afternoons you could watch old men peel a peach with their silverware, wasting scarcely a molecule of fruit-flesh as the skin came perfectly off; no, the Young Man was an American, and so finally he plunged his hand into the lukewarm oil to get at the skeleton, and he disarticulated the wing joint so as to free that sliver of meat. — The unsprung bone snapped fiercely against the dish, and his table jerked. — The waiter tch-tch’ed, though whether out of pity or offense it was impossible to say.
“Very sorry, sir,” the owner said from behind the counter. “Very fresh.” —He was a bald old man in the uniform of the Indian Army. Watching his almost empty establishment from the back of the room, he played a cassette over and over. Whenever it reached the end of a side, he flipped it again. The sound was a muffled drumming of static within static, with remnants of calliope in as much evidence as a whore’s hymen.
Well, the Young Man thought, giving up on the meat and dipping little bits of nan into the oil, at least they were subservient instead of inquisitive here; they said they were sorry, so, okay, okay; and believe you me, there’s no finer sight than a thousand waiters tacking into the wind, running for water at the snap of a finger or a waved rupee note, lighting cigarettes for the customer, his napkins blowing like racing pennants in the wind of the pukkas† as he steams on, crunching another bone, skipper of his appetite, proud, great and Yankee come to help the Third World.
…Stomach aching heartily after partaking of a nauseating sweet composed of fermented buffalo milk — what wouldn’t he do for courtesy?… It had been a wedding reception, at the home of relatives of General N., and everybody was very nice; they took him in to see the bride in her ceremonial costume of golden fringe, with her yellow glass bangles; they found an American program on television for him, they showed off the family’s young sons, the host let him handle the guns of the household, and Wife Number Two waited on him constantly with this delicacy and that. He liked the family very much. He had had a lot of diarrhea that day, with blood, and the thought of eating anything at all made him want to throw up, but he would not insult them. Manfully he ate the meat and picked at his nan. They had honored him; his portion was the biggest and the most limpid with grease. The vegetables were good, and the water potable, but meanwhile they had brought him sweets, each more sickening than the one before. There were hard, stale orange pretzels so sweet that his teeth ached. Then came red things that were glazed rock-solid on the outside, but burst in his mouth like cockroaches, running with sour-sweet syrup supersaturated with sugar, so that crystals of it stuck to his gums and under his tongue, and his breath began to stink in his throat. Finally they hauled out the buffalo-milk candy — a platter of it, stacked with whitish, crumbly squares, each as big as his hand. He had been taking very small portions all evening, and could see their growing disappointment with him. So this time, instead of breaking off a corner of a piece and hiding it in his pocket later, he grabbed the biggest piece he could see and opened his mouth wide. Everyone beamed. It took him half an hour to finish it.
“My dear brother,” said the Afghan Brigadier the following afternoon, selecting his words with great care from his small English repertoire, “please come outside.” —But the Young Man was in agonies just then from what he was sure was the buffalo sweet, and could only sit up in bed and pat his stomach feebly. — “Uh, good afternoon,” he told the Brigadier, pretending not to understand (people often did that to him). The Brigadier shook his head slowly and went out.
It was quiet. The Brigadier spent his days sitting in a lawn chair, his feet in another, his cheek and mouth resting against his hand as he looked at nothing, crowded by busy birds. A big vein ran down his temple like a bolt of lightning. The morning breeze stirred the air between them when they took their breakfast together, but his white prayer cap and his gray hair remained still. He had a deep, sad crease on either side of his mouth.
The Brigadier put his hand to his forehead that afternoon, waited, and finally got to his feet, crossing his arms behind his back. He walked away around the corner of the hedge. The Young Man lay watching through the window. A little later, when it had become horribly hot, the Brigadier came back to take his siesta. He slept with the same benign expression as he sat all day, the expression of someone whom months of unproductive waiting are slowly bringing to seed. Finally the Young Man’s own eyes closed.
General N.’s guest room had only one large bed, in which the Young Man and the Brigadier both slept. At first the Young Man felt uncomfortable with this arrangement. Like most males from his country, he believed that close and prolonged proximity to an older man might well presage homosexuality. He did not like it when old men held his hand to guide him through the bazaars. He felt as a Pakistani woman might have felt if her husband had taken her hand in public. None of this was right or wrong. He who adapts insufficiently to an alien society is a sort of evolutionary failure, condemned to isolation, sterility and extinction; he who adapts too much defaces the self he was born with. The Young Man, being young, should have adapted substantially; he had less previous self to deny. He did his best. In Karachi he’d met two men who befriended him. They paid for his lunch (nan, oil and curried egg), bought him a leaf-wrapped packet of betel nut to chew, showed him the tomb of Mr. Jinnah, the founder of Pakistan, and took him on a bus ride to Clifton Beach, where in September the giant sea tortoises came to lay their eggs. “It’s a fascinating spectacle on a moonlit night,” the guidebook said. Unfortunately, this was the middle of a 125-degree afternoon (so it seemed) in the middle of June.