Sitting in the chair in her room, she found that the mental image of Duke returned again and again, sometimes alone, sometimes coupled with the image of her sister. She formed a picture of her older darker sister nakedly seducing her handsome pet… showing and teaching him how to give such pleasure. God, those images alone were stirring her even more. There was never any doubt that Janet and Duke spent long hours together. After all, this was a secluded area, and there was not another lover for miles around. The thought of Janet making love with Duke all day in the wild freedom of the Catskills made the young girl smile to herself.
She heard a slight noise at her side, and she looked down at the German shepherd, who had followed her silently into her room. She could see that he was happy, although she didn't know if it was because he was in her presence or just because living in the woods make him feel free… as free as it seemed to make Janet feel. Kitty knew that Duke would never feel as happy in the city as he did here.
Kitty allowed her eyes to wander to the window, delighting in the scenery of the setting sun against the gentle rolling hills. She found her thoughts wandering to her brother, Mike. She had not heard from him in quite some time. It was not his way to keep in touch with people. At one time he had been a successful engineering student in college but he had given up that life and had joined a migratory farming family, hoping to help them overcome their poverty. The one time she had spoken to him after he had done that, he had told her that he was through with the rat race of the city… much in the same way Janet felt after her husband died. 'I must be the only member of our family still living under the pressure of city life,' she thought.
She began unpacking and putting her clothes in the small dresser when she noticed a small box and a note that read: "Have fun. Love, Janet."
Kitty opened the box and found a small amount of pot and rolling papers. Kitty was a little surprised that her sister could be so free with her pot. After all, it was fairly expensive, and it must be even more expensive out here away from so many people. And then she remembered that the stuff grows everywhere. Perhaps Janet planted some herself. It would certainly be like her.
Shrugging her shoulders, Kitty rolled a cigarette and lit it, inhaling the thick white smoke. She had at first thought that she could never feel better than she had in the freedom of the woods, but she was wrong. As the smoke began to take a hold of her mind, she found that she was better able to enjoy the feeling of freedom she had come to take almost for granted during the last few hours. The lovely sunset she could see from her window was enhanced by the drug, and she relaxed more that she would have thought possible. 'Yes,' she thought to herself, 'Janet really has it made. It will be more than a shame to go back to St. Louis. It will be a crime.'
Again she found her thoughts dwelling on her brother. She let her mind wander to the time when all three of them had lived together in New York City, before they separated and led their different lives. Playing with her brother and sister had always been a happy experience, and now, for the first time in years, they would be together once again. Mike, her brother, had been more than a sibling… he had been a friend. Kitty was the youngest, Mike the oldest, and it was perhaps because of that that Mike and Kitty shared a special relationship. Often times, he would forsake his own friends to make sure his little sister was not left alone, and Kitty never forgot things like that. Even though they had been separated for so long, Kitty found that often her thoughts fixed on her brother, and she was sure that he often thought of her. She wanted to be as happy as she could when he came to the house tomorrow. He was flying all the way from California, and Kitty wanted to make sure that everything was just right for him. She did not want him to think that his trip would be boring.
And Mike had done so many things, she remembered. While Janet was the adventurous member of the family, Mike was the experimenter. He had a vivid imagination, and was never afraid to put it to good use. Kitty began to think that she would learn a great deal being with her family again. If her experience with Duke was any indication of what Janet was capable of, Kitty began to feel that her whole life might change from this week. It would not only be a house warming, but perhaps a re-awakening in her own life. She knew she would never be the same again.
Her thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock on the door.
"Come in," she said, eager for some company. Janet walked in and sat down on the bed.
"Hi, Sis," the older woman said. "I see you found my little present."
"Yes, it was sort of hard not to find. You want some? I hate getting stoned alone."
Janet took the slowly burning joint and inhaled deeply. "You know," she said, "there's nothing like getting stoned and talking about old times."
Kitty nodded. Often times with her friends in college, she had gotten stoned and passed many hours dwelling on the past. It always gave her a warm feeling, and she was certain that she would get the same feeling now.
"Janet, you can't know how happy I am that we're all going to be together again. It's been so long. There's a lot of catching up to do."
"You sound as though you've been very lonely, living in St. Louis," her older sister remarked.
"Oh, it's not bad," Kitty said. "It was something I had to do. I couldn't stay in New York… not after John."
Janet looked pensive at the mention of her sister's lover. "Just what happened there?" she asked the blonde Kitty. "For a long while, I thought you and he were going to get married. At least that's what your letters seemed to say."
A pained look came over Kitty's face, and Janet could tell that she had still not gotten over the man. "It's something a woman doesn't like to talk about," she told her sister, lowering her head to avoid Janet's questioning stare.
"Maybe not a woman," Janet said in a soothing voice, "but a sister… that's something different."
Kitty took another drag on the joint. She had been keeping this bottled up inside her for so long… perhaps if she talked about it, things would look better. Everything about Janet's cabin suggested total honesty and openness. It seemed only natural that she should talk about the only man she had ever loved. "You know, I was very much in love with him," she began, lifting her head and looking at her sister in the eyes. Janet nodded. Sensing that it might be needed, the older woman began rolling another joint.
"Well," Kitty continued, silently grateful that her older sister was making everything as easy for her as she could. "I thought I knew everything about him there was to know. He seemed so open with me, so loving, so patient and understanding. He never talked about marriage, and I never brought it up, but I thought that someday… well…"
"Well, what happened to change all of that?" Janet asked. "It sounds to me as though you had everything going for you. Did he find another woman?"
"He sure did," said Kitty, fighting unsuccessfully to keep a slow burning hatred from her voice. "He found one before he had even met me. Janet, he was married. He had been married for at least a year before I knew him."
A frown came over Janet's face. She could imagine what had been running through her younger sister's mind when she found out. Something like that could be a shock no one would recover from.
"Well, what happened? Did he tell you or what?"
Kitty took a deep breath, sighing to relieve the tension she could feel mounting in her body at the dredging of painful memories. Even though she was feeling very stoned, she was not as relaxed as she had been before. But she had to continue. She had to get everything out in the open. "John… he came to my house one evening… with his wife. He told me that he had talked everything over with her, and she was willing to accept me. In fact, she thought it was a big joke. He said he wanted to have the both of us at the same time, and he knew it would be all right with me."