To my astonishment, she took my well-meant queries amiss. "Troop Leader Rheon!" she said sharply. "As I have told you many a time and oft, I am no piece of fragile Egyptian glass that shatters if you look crossly at it. I am comfortable and in fine health and spirits. When I have aught to complain of, I will let you know."
Then for some days she devoted more time than ever to Pyrron, leaving me crushed and glowering.
When I wrote to the king, I said I had been in trouble with the traffic laws in Babylon and hinted that Stamenes and Agathon might not be all they should as governors. However, I did not go into details of my imprisonment and torture, in consideration of the bag of silver Apollodoros had given me.
Perhaps I was wrong to let myself be bought off, when a strict sense of honor would have demanded vengeance at all costs on my tormentors. For years the question bothered my conscience. But at the time it seemed to me that I had enough to do to carry out my mission, without attempting to reform the whole Alexandrine empire.
One day, when I rode ahead of the column, Vardanas rode with me. I could see he was troubled. After he had fumbled for a while, I said:
"Out with it, man. Is it about your sister?"
"How did you guess? It plagues me that she should be so assotted with the philosopher. Yet I know not what to do about it. Were he a Persian of good family I could betroth them. But as it is ... Not that Pyrron is not a fine fellow in his way. He has never taken advantage of Nirouphar's folly. Still, either one is born an Arian or one is not."
"Have you taken her to task about it?"
"Yes, and it only caused a quarrel. She is unfair to me. She expects my protection but will not obey my commands."
"What would you have me do?"
"Speak to him. Perhaps persuade him to keep his distance until this spell passes."
"Why speak you not yourself?" I asked.
"As a civilian, Pyrron is not under my rule. But you as hipparch command us all. Besides, he is so learned that I should feel shame to chide him."
"Papai! That's a fine task to give me. Especially ..."
"Especially what?"
"Oh, fie! Dinna you ken I'm in love with the lass myself?"
Vardanas' eyes rounded. "Why, no, I did not know. Oh, my dear friend, how dreadful!"
"Meaning that, as I, too, am but a loathsome non-Arian, my suit were hopeless?"
"I would not so put it, but you grasp the gist."
"I had thought it plain to all," I said. "For the last ten-day I've been sighing and staring. I've hardly eaten or slept."
"Really? I ask your pardon, but I have seen no lessening of your good healthy appetite. Since you ever present a stern and serious front, I saw no change in your mien."
"So much for sympathy. If I complain of the burn on my leg, you'll tell me to chop the limb off."
"Alas, with what fortitude do we bear others' misfortunes! But that still leaves Pyrron. As you and he are in a sense rivals, you should be glad of a chance to break up this unnatural infatuation."
"Unnatural! As if a Hellene were some sort of slimy monster! If it be hopeless for both of us, why should I interfere? And if it be not, I'd not use my rank against him."
"You mean it were dishonorable? A noble sentiment!"
"Belike, but that's not quite what I had in mind. The men obey me, •not only because I can outwrestle them all, but also because I'm fair with them. Let it be thought I was ranking a man out his woman and trouble would soon raise its head."
"Oh dear!" said Vardanas. "Why could not my father have sent the wanton to some good Arian city like Parsagarda and wedded her to some respectable youth, as he did with my sister Artaunta? How shall we untie this tangle?"
"Let's both speak to Pyrron, stating the case and asking what he means to do. Thus I shan't appear as one meddling in his affairs from selfish motives, but as the just leader demanding that you and he compose your differences."
A day passed before we got Pyrron away from Nirouphar. Then the lass joined a group of our women who, having the Asiatic feeling about exposing the person, were going around a bend in the river out of sight of our camp to bathe. I said to Pyrron:
"O philosopher, 'tis time we gave our Persian frog another swimming lesson. Help me to teach him."
Vardanas did not look happy at the form of my stratagem. Though he had gotten over some of his horror of nudity, water more than knee-deep still frightened him. But the noble fellow did not quail.
It turned out that, although Pyrron was himself a poor swimmer, he was an excellent teacher of swimming. He had read everything ever written in Greek on the subject, and he had infinite patience and good humor. This time we got Vardanas to swim three strokes by himself before he shipped a mouthful of muddy Tigris water and put his feet down to cough it out again.
Whilst we dried ourselves, I said: "Pyrron, Vardanas has a matter to speak to you about."
"Go right ahead, old boy," said Pyrron.
Though usually glib, Vardanas stammered and stumbled. At last he got it out. "... it simply will not do for a respectable Persian girl to hang about one man all the time. Her reputation, already worn thin from leaving home, will now be in utter shreds. I blame myself that I let her talk me into bringing her. But you, my man, what do you intend?"
Pyrron waved his hands helplessly. "Gods on Olympos! I've done nothing but attempt to elucidate the mysteries of philosophy to one who seemed interested. I had no conception that your sister contemplated me with mundane desires."
"Your wisdom is not of this earthly plane," said Vardanas. "Anybody with eyes could see she is assotted with you."
Pyrron's voice rose to a squeak. "But I'm not out to marry her or seduce her or anything else! As I've asserted before, I desire no mortal lovers of any age, sex, or race. Athena is my only passion."
"Well," said Vardanas, "we cannot go on like this. You will break her heart even if you cause no scandal."
"What would you have me do? Insult her?"
"You could at least dissuade her from sticking to you like a burr to a dog."
"On what pretext? So long as anybody shows an earnest desire for enlightenment, I consider it my duty as a philosopher to satisfy—"
"Oh, rubbish!" I said. " 'Tis plain to the silliest wight she hangs upon your words for love of your sweet self and not for your philosophy. No woman could possibly understand your reasoning anyway. Why, I can scarce understand it myself."
Pyrron cleared his throat. "Now you come to a point on which I have a strong opinion. With the divine Platon, I hold that we Hellenes commit a national injustice and deprive ourselves of a valuable resource by relegating our women to the status of slaves—"
"For Hera's sake, dinna lecture! We wish you to dissuade Nirouphar; not necessarily by rudeness, but, say, by seeking other company. Talk to Vardanas and me, or discuss Indian theology with Kanadas."
"That's not a bad idea," said Pyrron. "To tell you the honest truth, I'm becoming a little tired of being plied with questions about man and the universe to which I don't know the answers and to which I think nobody else has the answer either. Let Leon woo her while Vardanas and I discuss philosophy. Perhaps she'll become enamored of Leon, and Vardanas can make a match between them."
"Out upon you!" I cried. "If that's a joke, 'tis a poor one. Know you not that I should like nought better, did Fate allow?"
"Why? Oh, you mean that you, too—my word, how blind I must be to the human drama about me! Well then, if you love her, what's amiss with my suggestion?"