I must admit to surprise when I awoke to find all as it had been. The cavern showed little to the eye to cause unease, yet I liked it not. Some few males were also awake, seeing to the replacement of the torches set upon our arrival, a thing which should have been seen to sooner. No more than a hand-length remained to most, some already having sputtered out in their niches. I moved about in the furs beside Ceralt, feeling a deep desire to don leather and furs and leave that place, even should the snow fly in the air without, burying all beneath it. Surely there are worse fates than to lie dead beneath the thing called snow, and I somehow felt that my dreams through the darkness had hinted at such.
“Satya, what ails you?” asked Ceralt of a sudden, his voice no more than a murmur in the deep silence. “Throughout the darkness you tossed in sleep, now you continue to toss when awake. Has something disturbed you?”
I lay upon my side, facing away from him, considering the possibility of explaining what I felt. The track of lenga or faith may be easily shown to another in the forest, yet how may one show a track upon the mind, a faint hint upon the breeze, a broken leaf, a knowledge that speaks of the lenga’s presence even without evidence one may point to?
“I am uneasy here,” I groped, turning slowly to face him. “This place is not what it seems, and none should linger here. Do you truly mean to leave your females behind in this place?”
“We have found no other place to leave them,” said he, a frown creasing his brow. “This cavern seems no different from any other to me. What do you see that I do not?”
“There is naught to see,” I pressed, shaking my head. “One must feel this place to sense that which is here. It is much like a cage for souls which are lost, their bodies no more, their spirits unable to reach a final glory.”
“Such is foolishness,” he snorted, smoothing my hair with his hand. “Your superstitious nature leads you astray, my girl. There is naught here to cause harm to any.”
“So you say,” I jibed in turn, shaking his hand from my head. “There is a hint of the white land about this place, a lack of sign where there should be, portents where there should be none. Is even Lialt blind and deaf in this place of innocence—or merely at Ceralt’s command?”
“Woman, you overreach yourself,” he growled, closing his fingers upon my arm. “That I allowed Hannil to speak so does not mean you may take the same liberty. Lialt will walk the Snows before our departure, and then will your theory be tested. Should he find anything, I will be greatly surprised. For now, go and see to Telion’s needs, for he has awakened.”
Ceralt’s hand left my arm, yet the anger did not leave his eyes. He was pleased to speak of my beliefs as superstitions, yet disliked the reminder that Lialt would do exactly as his brother wished, no matter the cost to himself or others. He now attempted to punish me for what he considered insolence, sending me to Telion when he knew full well how I disliked being forced to the service of a male. For a moment I gazed upon the darkness of his face, his light eyes clouded, then did I turn from him and leave his furs to move to Telion’s, little more than a pace away. A greater number of males and females stirred about the cavern, some few rising to their feet, others no more than awake in their furs. Telion raised a corner of his furs in invitation, then chuckled as I lay myself beside him.
“I thank the Serene Oneness that your tongue remains unbridled,” said he, gathering me to him. “Was it not such a constant burr to Ceralt’s temper, I would have long since found myself deprived of your use. What was the subject which this time caused such disagreement?”
“I merely remarked upon the blindness of males,” said I, putting my hands to the broadness of his chest. “Telion. Does naught cause you uneasiness in this place?”
“Uneasiness?” he echoed, losing the grin he had been showing. “I feel naught save a faint closeness which is natural in caverns such as this. Do you sense more?”
“Aye,” I nodded with a sigh. “Ceralt calls it superstition and dismisses it, yet do I feel that Mida sends me warning against that which only she might see. Wisest would be to leave here, and that right quickly.”
“There are times when wisest is not best,” said Telion, matching my sigh. “It is almost certain death for us out there, from cold and snow, if not starvation. Are we to choose certain death over that which may occur? Ceralt thinks not, and I am forced to agree.”
“There are many things worse than death,” I said in deep disgust, taking my hands from him. “A pity city males have not yet learned this truth.”
I began to turn from him, annoyed with myself for believing he would see where others gazed blindly, yet this the male would not allow. Though often seeing more deeply and having greater understanding than other males, Telion yet remained a male within him, displeased with hearing that which he did not wish to hear.
“Jalav is ever so sure in her beliefs,” said he, continuing to hold me to him, anger beginning to grow. “To leave the safety of a haven on no more than vague feelings of unease is little more than female foolishness, not for men to indulge in. Take your fears in hand, wench, lest they bring you punishment in the midst of the safety you so earnestly seek.”
His hands and lips came to me then, taking the use Ceralt allowed him, using the easing of his needs to mask the thoughts my words had brought. Telion used me hard and well, giving the punishment he and Ceralt wished for me bringing me greater distress than shame would account for. Throughout the time of my use by Telion, I felt that another watched and waited, his lips dry with the thought of using me, his loins athrob, his fingers curled to claws upon the body of another whom he used in my stead. Soon, said the silent, whispered thoughts of this male, soon it will be you beneath me, woman. Never have you had use as that which I shall put you to. You will survive long enough to know me your master.
I wished to shout defiance at these thoughts which assailed me, yet Telion was deep within me, taking my strength and will, refusing to allow me to do other than that which he demanded. A female in use is a female mastered, said Ceralt in my thoughts, his grin before my eyes, his dark hair reaching down toward the light of his eyes. I moaned and cried out in Telion’s arms, feeling a fear like a cloth upon the head, suffocating, strangling, debilitating and terror-making. Telion murmured in pleasure, thinking I, too, felt the pleasure, then the soft cry of his release brought me promise of imminent freedom, then the freedom itself. He held me no more than a moment past his spending, then moved to my side and released me.
“Your leathers now lay upon the stone behind you,” said he, smoothing hair from my forehead before putting his lips to it. “Do not arise till you have clothed yourself, else Ceralt will be angered. It was he who placed the leathers there as I took you.”
I turned my head to see the leathers he spoke of, afrown that I had not myself seen Ceralt approach. Or had I seen him, merely believing that his face was no more than in my thoughts? Was this confusion one with the belief that another had spoken to me in silence, all born of a great dislike of that which surrounded me? Could the males be correct and I in error? I reached a hand out and drew the leathers to me, so deep in confusion that knowledge of naught else approached me.
Once in breech, chest-covering and boots I rose to my feet, seeing that all those within the cavern were now awake. Females moved about conversing with one another, and some few males of Ceralt’s and Hannil’s took themselves toward where the lanthay had been left, perhaps to see to their welfare, perhaps to see how the snow and weather fared. I, too, was considering the preparation of provender when those who had gone to the lanthay returned hurriedly in much agitation.