‘Two and five.’
I got my penny change and sat on a high stool. Hell of a job being a barman. Watching everybody bevying the night away man. Must be pretty bad. All the conversations. Having to talk or at least acknowledge all the pieces of chat. No wonder you look so bored Percy. Why don’t you rob the till and high tail it to the badlands. That beer was very good.
‘Hey give us another pint man will you?’ Not even rinsing the glass out. Percy. Percy. You’ll never make the big time going to those games.
‘Hullo Joe how you going,’ said the barman to a newcomer. A man in his forties, average build although a bit overweight.
‘Brown and mild Freddie. When you’re ready.’ The fellow looked around nodding to one or two patrons. Oh to be an accepted regular. Oh God the glory.
‘Two and five.’
‘Anything to eat?’
‘Not a bad night Joe.’
‘Yeah.’ Joe nodded.
‘Nuts and crisps.’
‘Finished are you?’ The snidey bartender paid no attention as he made up a brown and mild.
‘All finished Freddie. Yes finished for the day.’
‘Want any?’
‘Any what?’
‘Nuts and crisps.’
‘Oh!’ Up you Freddie. ‘No!’
‘Two and five,’ he pushed the brown and mild gently across to the regular.
‘Give us a whisky as well.’ The barman turned to a bottle of brewery Joe Bloggs whisky.
‘Any good ones?’
‘Good ones?’
Now Percy why do you look at Joe! Is there something lacking? Are you inferior? What is this moral support business?
‘Like what?’
‘Give us a glass of that. That black label man. Next to the Emva cream.’
He counted each drip into the tumbler smiling to himself.
‘Eight and eleven.’
I paid up and lit a cigarette. Perhaps I could join their talk.
‘How’s the missus?’ asked the worker.
‘Pooo.’
‘Like that. Yeah,’ Freddie nodded knowing it all.
‘Aye, aye,’ I muttered from the boots.
Both looked at me.
‘Aye, this married business,’ I shook my head in summing up.
‘Yeah. You’re right Jock,’ agreed Joe. ‘Married yourself?’
‘Once upon a time.’
That’s a downright lie gents.
‘Has its good points Joe.’ Freddie nodded to emphasise, ‘Must admit that.’
‘Pooo!’
‘Aye.’
‘On your own now are you?’ asked Joe as Freddie went to another customer.
‘Yeah,’ I winked, ‘the only way to be man.’
‘Lucky bastard.’ Poor old Joe lit up a cigarette. ‘Yeah.’ He muttered, exhaling a little smoke, ‘Yeah.’
‘Kids?’
‘Two of them Jock. Yeah two of them.’
What else is there to say. That’s nice? What is there?
‘And. .’ I began.
‘Trouble? Pooo nothing but bleedin trouble Jock.’
‘Yeah?’
‘Yeah. Once a kid reaches fourteen! Look out.’ Joe glanced around the room and thrust one hand deep into his trouser pocket. His shoulders hunched as he shook his head.
‘Why I come in here, init?’
‘Yeah?’
‘Why else? Place like this. Pathetic.’
‘What’ll you have Joe?’
He looked, trying to figure it out.
‘Eh.’
‘C’mon.’
‘I’ll have a gin and a bottle of brown then Jock cheers.’
‘Hey give us a gin, another black label and bottle of brown and a bottle of light ale.’
The barman looked at Joe and then back to me once more.
‘Have one yourself man.’
‘I’ll have a brown mate thanks.’
‘He’s OK,’ said Joe.
‘Drink in here regularly then?’
‘Most evenings at opening times. Sometimes stay on till late.’
‘Here lads,’ the barman downed half his beer, his nose wrinkling as he put the glass back on the counter.
‘Not very busy is it?’
‘Not at nights Jock. No. Lunch hour trade mostly,’ he nodded his head. ‘Busy then. That right Joe? Live around here do you?’ after a pause.
‘Quite near.’
‘Drink up Jock.’
‘What?’ I swallowed the whisky.
‘Drink up.’ Joe stood counting out some money. ‘Same again Freddie. No beer though. Not for me. Had a drink earlier.’
‘Nor me man, whisky’s plenty.’ I drank some light ale to clear my mouth. ‘Want a plain Joe?’
‘No I’ll stick to the tipped.’
We lit up and remained silent until the round of drinks arrived.
‘What do you do Joe? For a living I mean.’
‘Piss-ball about in a printing shop, that’s what I do.’
I laughed, ‘Jesus.’
Joe grinned, ‘Why what do you do?’
‘Nothing man, I don’t really do anything.’
‘Are you a drop out?’
‘I don’t think so Joe, never been in anywhere to drop out. No I just don’t work. Had a job a couple of years ago right enough. Desperate at the time.’
‘Well, good luck if you can get away with it. Cheers.’ He finished the gin but I let the whisky remain where it was.
‘Freddie another gin and light ale.’ I turned to Joe and said, ‘I’ve got to be going soon.’
‘You’re a bit well dressed to be a drop out,’ mused Joe.
‘What age are your kids?’
‘One’s twenty-two now, the girl’s eighteen,’ he grunted to himself.
‘What do they do?’
‘God knows. Don’t even know where he is.’ He looked at me. ‘He’s a bloody drop out I think. One of the neighbours thinks she saw him up west a couple of weeks ago. Hair down to his ankles she said. Fits the description anyway. His mother wants me to look for him.’ Joe laughed bitterly. ‘Where would I look for him?’
‘I don’t know, there’s places you could look for him.’
‘Would you look for him?’
‘I wouldn’t.’
‘Course you’re the same as him. Are you in advertising?’
‘Jesus. Not me Joe.’
He shook his head trying to suss it all out. ‘No, can’t reckon you at all. You a pop singer for God’s sake.’
‘Think I’d be in here bevying?’
‘Of course, of course. Scotch? Footballer that’s what you are. Think you’re Georgie Best. Yeah.’
‘Wrong again.’
‘What’s wrong with all you bastards Jock. Just can’t understand it any.’ He went silent and noticing the barman hanging about, called the same again.
‘Listen I went through the war and detested nearly every minute of it. All those bastard officers. Walking over the top of us and poncing around shouting orders at you. Christ it was bad. I never bore anybody with details about it like some do. I mean I. .’ Freddie was standing waiting for payment.
‘Listen Jock,’ Joe collected the change, ‘listen Jock here’s us having a drink together, I’m forty-nine and what are you? Twenty-four or something?’ I nodded.
‘I mean we’re quite enjoying the chat aren’t we? But we could come to blows any minute. Let’s face it.’
‘I know what you mean Joe.’
‘You don’t know what I mean son.’
I nodded slowly. ‘I know exactly what you mean.’
He snapped his fingers. ‘A student.’
‘No not me Joe.’
‘You know exactly what I mean,’ his eyes twinkling out with something deeper, he poked his forefinger into my chest. ‘Tell me what I’m talking about son.’
‘The age gap. Generation gap that’s all.’ I sat back nearly falling from the stool.
‘Look at you just now son. Just about fell off the bloody stool there. What’s wrong? Can’t you hold your drink?’
I smiled contemptuously, ‘What does it matter.’
‘Shouldn’t drink if you can’t stomach it son.’ He laughed, ‘that’s the trouble with you bastards, think you’re men cause you’re old enough to go into a pub.’