She met me at the door and immediately asked, “What’s wrong?”
I took a deep breath and looked at her forlornly. She said nothing but stepped forward and wrapped her arms around my waist and laid her head against my shoulder.
“I’m going to miss this,” I told her. “I don’t think I’ve ever been able to just hug someone who wasn’t my girlfriend.”
I could feel her smiling. “That’s because you’re a boy. You get all weird about affection. Girls hug each other all the time.”
My mind flashed back to the Spring Break orgy, particularly to a moment where Summer and Adrienne were laying on top of each other face-to-face, making out and crushing their tits into each other while I drilled Adrienne from behind. Before I realized it, I let out a low groan and felt my cock rising to bump Summer in the belly.
She giggled and stepped back, looking at the bulge in my shorts.
“Sorry,” I murmured.
“Don’t worry about it,” Summer shook her head and then took my hand, squeezing it. “Come on in.”
We found ourselves lying on her bed. I was sitting up with a couple pillows supporting my lower back. I had Summer lying on my chest while I stroked her back, both of us lost in our thoughts. We both knew she didn’t need to cry and didn’t really need to be held or comforted anymore. But we also knew that we both enjoyed this quiet cuddling.
The only times I’d ever really held someone this intimately were either right before or right after having sex. Before sex, I would be aroused and horny and eager to get to the fucking. After sex, I cuddled out of satisfaction and mellowness.
But holding Summer like this just felt… relaxing. There was no pressure to move things along towards having sex. Actually, if we HADN’T fucked that first day, I might have been feeling some tension inside from desire for Summer. But now I could just feel peaceful and enjoy the pleasant affection without ulterior motive.
I would miss this.
I would miss her.
I wasn’t even with her, but I’d bonded to Summer and I wasn’t so eager to let go of that. So I asked softly, “Do we really have to stop?”
Summer chuckled and without turning her head to look at me, answered, “I have to give you back to your friends, Ben.”
“What if I would rather spend more time with you?”
She didn’t answer for a long few minutes, but twice I felt her arms tighten around me, clutching my body as if unwilling to ever let go. And then at last she let out a long exhalation of air. She tilted her head downwards, away from me. “I can’t spend any more time with you, Ben. If I do, I’m afraid I’ll fall in love with you.”
I smiled and stroked her back. I could very easily imagine myself with Summer as my girlfriend. “Would that really be so bad?”
“I’m going to college, Ben. I’m leaving home and moving on with my life.”
“UCLA isn’t so far away,” I pointed out, regretting it the moment I said it. Summer was starting a new chapter in her life. Who was I to try and hold her back? “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be pushing this.”
She sighed. “Ben, you’ve helped me so much. I’d have been a wreck this whole week if it wasn’t for you, and I may very well have failed all my finals. But just because I’ve had your support doesn’t mean I’m not screwed up inside.” She took a deep breath. “I’ve been through this enough times to know, Ben. I’m rebounding. I want to believe that these feelings I have for you are real. Most of the feelings probably ARE real; you’re a sweet guy. But… I’m smart enough to know that some of the feelings are pure rebound. And I don’t want to build a relationship on a rebound. It wouldn’t be fair to either one of us.”
I sighed. “I know, I know.” My 17-year-old brain understood. But my 17-year-old heart didn’t want to admit it.
Summer turned in my arms then and crawled up until her face was level with mine. She touched my cheek with one hand and then leaned forward, softly pressing her lips to mine.
The tender kiss increased in pressure until she tilted her head and opened her mouth. My hands snaked up behind her head and held her to me as I probed with my tongue. She whimpered and moaned as our tongues touched and then we were breathing heavily through our noses as our kiss built and built into a full-blown heavy makeout session.
I lost track of how long we kissed. I was deliriously happy and yet felt the dark cloud in the back of my head, creeping over the horizon and steadily approaching. And as if by mutual consent, Summer and I slowed down our kisses until we finally pulled apart, panting for air while staring into each other’s eyes from inches away.
It had been a thrilling kiss, and yet the instant it was over I immediately began wondering if that was our last. I got a pained look in my eyes and sighing, Summer moved up and pecked my forehead.
Stroking my cheek, she said quietly, “In another world, one where I’m not on the rebound from Jae and I’m not leaving for college in a few months, who knows where life might have taken the two of us?”
I closed my eyes and nodded. And when I opened them all my tension flooded out of me. I could accept. I took a deep breath and then looked at Summer’s pretty face. “Can we still be friends?”
She smiled. “Of course!”
I nodded and then sat up. Scooting my butt over, I moved towards the edge of the bed and started looking around for my shoes.
Summer sighed and sat up against the pillows, pulling her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. And then in a hesitant voice, she said softly, “Ben?”
I paused while reaching for my shoe and turned to look at her. “Hmm?”
“You’re leaving for this summer camp, when?”
“June 30th. Saturday.”
“Two weeks?”
I nodded.
“And then you’ll be gone for a month?”
I nodded again.
She took a deep breath and hugged her knees tightly. “Ben, I don’t want you to visit me at all for those two weeks you’re still here. Not after graduation.”
Hurt, my eyebrows furrowed and I sat back against the bed heavily. “What? Why?” I moaned. I’d expected that Summer and I wouldn’t be cuddling every afternoon or holding hands all day anymore, but I assumed she and I could still hang out and talk or even just go somewhere and be quiet together. I really DID feel quite relaxed when I was just near to her and saying nothing.
“Promise me, Ben. Promise.” Her voice cracked and new tears were forming in her eyes.
With a pained expression, I nodded slowly. “OK. I promise. Two weeks. But I reserve the right to visit come August.”
She barked a short laugh. “Okay.” And then she let out a long exhalation, seeming relieved.
“But why, Summer?” I whimpered. “I’ll do it. Not after graduation. But why?”
“Please, Ben? I… I’m over Jae. I KNOW it,” she said firmly.
I nodded. “That’s good, that’s good.” But I didn’t understand what that had to do with me.
Summer sighed. “But now… now I’m going to need time to get over you.”
“Get over?” I asked. “We’re just friends, Summer. We’ll always be friends.”
“I know we will. But… it’s already too late. I have feelings for you, Ben; feelings that I’m going to have to get over. And I can’t do that if you’re still around.”
I sighed and turned my head away, nodding slowly. “Me, too.”
She reached out and squeezed my hand. I squeezed back, never wanting to let go. But it was time to let go. I leaned over and pecked Summer on the cheek, resigned to our fates. She was right. In another world, who knew where life might have taken the two of us? But this was the only world we really had. It was a world where the timing was off, where she was rebounding from a boyfriend and I was just a teenager with too many hormones and a tendency to be led around by my erection.