Then a familiar female voice said, “The bastard’s still in love with you.”
Although the voice was familiar, I didn’t recognize it. I may not have even heard it. I may have simply imagined it….
I awoke sitting in the same spot. The light dappling the forest floor betrayed the fact that my delirium had lasted two or three hours. Noon had come and gone. Erzulie hunkered at my side with a thermos cap of orange juice. Seeing her, and no one else, panicked me. My wife, my ex-wife, and my ex’s husband had absconded, leaving me alone in an obscure upland glade with a wizened hominid woman whose name, Erzulie, was also that of a major voodoo goddess of the Haitian religion. Erzulie Freda, an imaginative yoking of the eternal female and the Virgin Mary. Why was this queer little person staring at me as if I had upset the balance between divinity and the material world?
“Bwah,” she said. “Bwah!”
That was pidgin French, wasn’t it? Bois. Didn’t that mean “wood”? Well, of course, there was a wood all around us, trees and shrubbery and vines. What could be more obvious? But when Erzulie said, “Bwah!” again, touching the thermos cap to my bottom lip, she was commanding me to drink. I slurped the orange juice greedily, grateful for its cold sweetness and for a brief reprieve from my panic. Then the panic came back.
I was lucid, I was refreshed, and I was scared. I pushed the thermos cap away and levered myself up against the tree trunk. I shouted Caroline’s name—two or three times. Then I called for RuthClaire and Adam. Erzulie grimaced, turned her back on me, and sat down on an outcropping of rock, embracing her knees with her thin, hairy arms.
“I’m here,” Caroline said, sliding down a mossy incline next to Erzulie’s rock. “Are you all right?” She hugged me.
“I don’t know. I could have died. You guys ran out on me.”
Caroline said she’d never been more than forty or fifty feet away, that Erzulie had stayed by my side to moisten my brow with makeshift compresses, and that we were now only ten minutes away from the habiline village. RuthClaire and Adam had each been back two or three times to check on me. If any had believed me in danger, they would have carried me to the Jeep and driven me to the hospital in Rutherford’s Port. But my fever had departed with the application of a second compress, and it had seemed to Adam that an hour or two of sleep, even if delirium-induced and fitful, would restore my physical and emotional equilibrium. My forehead was still cool, Caroline noted, touching me, and I looked a helluva lot better. Adam had been right.
These explanations did not appease me. Maybe the rest had restored my physical equilibrium, but I was an emotional shipwreck. In two days I’d toted up more grievances against Caroline than in our previous five months of marriage. Our working holiday was going to hell in a canvas backpack. I was the victim of gross neglect and an odious conspiracy of sexual exclusion. Using slightly blunter language, I told Caroline so.
She stared at me aghast. “You’re kidding.”
“I know what I know, Caroline. I feel what I feel.”
“Paul, you could run this country. You’re as paranoid as the first Duvalier.” I saw her waging a fierce internal battle to keep her composure from falling in ruins. “Maybe we shouldn’t have left you sitting here. You’ve had some weird fever dreams, old boy, and even though you’re awake again, you’re still under their brain-damaging influence.”
“Old boy?”
“Look, if I can forgive you for something you revealed while talking out of your head—if I can do that, even though it hurts like hell to find out—well, old boy, you can have the decency to forget the nonsense you dreamt sitting under this tree!” Both fists clenched at shoulder height, she began to cry.
My stomach flip-flopped. “Something I revealed?”
“You’re still in love with RuthClaire! You called her Eve and yourself Adam. Me, you called a two-timing bitch. Then you said you didn’t know who I was. Adam, either. In the sad little love pit of your subconscious, it’s just you and RuthClaire, world without end, amen.”
“Caroline, stop.”
“You think finding out something like that doesn’t hurt? My gut’s in an uproar, my nerves are knotted, and the irony of ironies is that from your paranoid point of view, I’m the perfidious two-timer—me, not you!”
“Caroline—”
“Just shut up? Every time you open your mouth, you put another foot in it. If you were a centipede, you’d’ve gagged to death by now.”
“That’s not bad, kid.” A wan chuckle escaped me.
“I’m not bad. There’s nothing bad about me. I’m so goddamn saintly I can go on living with a yahoo still in love with a woman happily married to someone else.”
Erzulie, whom I had virtually forgotten, made a hacking noise and spit into the leaves beside her rock. Then she got spryly to her feet and vanished into an uphill hedge of foliage. Caroline wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her blue work shirt.
“I didn’t know what I was saying,” I began.
“You did when you accused me of neglecting you—and, for God’s sake, when you accused me of getting kinky with Adam and RuthClaire.”
“I meant when I called myself Adam and RuthClaire Eve. A man’s not responsible for all the crap in his subconscious. I loved RuthClaire for a long time. We lived with each other for ten years. I was still in love with her when we divorced. I’ll never utterly eradicate those feelings. I really don’t think you’d want me to, either, as long as you realize that here and now, it’s all you, Caroline. My jealousy, my unfair resentments—they just go to prove it.”
“Hey, sport, that’s just hugely comforting.” But, her sarcasm aside, Caroline did appear comforted—or, if not comforted, then mollified. She had spent her anger. She had disillusioned me of the belief that I was the victim of a conspiracy.
“Caroline, I’m sorry.”
She smiled grudgingly. She put her arm through mine. “Come on, you jackass,” she said. “Let’s walk on up to Prix-des-Yeux.”
“Prix-des-Yeux?”
“The habiline village. We’re almost there. RuthClaire and Adam are waiting for us. The habilines, too, I guess.” Prix-des-Yeux means Eye-Price or Eye-Prize. In the special lingo of vaudun, the term connotes a state of mystical clairvoyance obtainable only by practitioners at the highest level of faith. Arm in arm, then, Caroline and I climbed toward that state—even though neither of us believed.
RuthClaire, Adam, and the habilines were not the only ones waiting for us when we arrived ten minutes later. Also on hand in the hidden village a hundred yards from the top of the mountain was Brian Nollinger. Once an anthropologist at Emory and a former beau of Caroline’s, Nollinger sat on a rosewood log next to the crude peristyle of the village houngfor, or voodoo temple. After we emerged into the ragged clearing encompassing Prix-des-Yeux, Brian stood up, turning his wide-brimmed hat in his hands like a steering wheel. I looked at Caroline. She looked at me. God blast me for a green-eyed fool, the first thought into my mind convicted her of a premeditated infidelity.
“Hello,” the interloper said. He wore bush shorts, hiking boots, calf-high socks, and a khaki shirt with epaulets and three or four button-down pockets.
Caroline said, “My God, Brian, what are you doing here?”
“That’s what I was going to ask you about him,” I told Caroline. “Please don’t try to pretend you didn’t know he was here.”
“But I didn’t—”
“That’s insulting. You must think I’m an idiot.”
RuthClaire, hearing this exchange, came out of the houngfor in front of which Brian had been sitting. A voodoo temple generally consists of a thatched enclosure with walls about two thirds of the way to its ceiling. The roof, as on this one, is wimpled with palm fronds. Hanging on cords beneath the ceiling is an eclectic jungle of sacred objects, including colored bottles, dried gourds, tin trinkets, and hand-carven mahogany charms. Exiting this shabby peristyle, RuthClaire walked straight across the small clearing to Caroline and me.