“Oh, so there you are!” Max said.
“I see you found Guru Optimo’s room,” Brattleboro replied. “Wasn’t that a little sneaky? What about our agreement? You were supposed to look for Lucky Bucky Buckley’s room.”
“Let’s call it even,” Max said. “You cheated too, you know.”
“How?”
“You were supposed to have been a chair.”
“I wish I were a chair,” Brattleboro said. “I’d stand on myself and climb out of here. Look where we are! This basement, or whatever it is, has no doors and no windows, and the water is approximately ten feet deep. In a very short time, we’re going to become too tired to tread water and then we’re going to drown.”
“Brattleboro,” Max replied, “if there’s one thing I’ve learned during my many years as a secret agent, it’s this: If there’s a way in, there’s a way out.”
“We fell in through that trap door,” Brattleboro said, pointing upward.
Max looked, “Mmmm, yes, I see. . it closes after the victim passes through it. Well, that certainly proves one thing.”
“What?”
“Sometimes the things you learn during your many years as a secret agent aren’t worth a hill of beans.”
But at that moment the trap door was suddenly pushed open and 99’s face appeared. “Max! Are you down there?” she called.
“Shhh! Don’t wake Guru Optimo!”
“All right,” she whispered. “But are you down there?”
“I can’t hear you, 99. Speak a little louder.”
“I don’t want to wake you-know-who.”
“When you shake what, it glows blue?”
“You-know-who!” 99 shouted.
“Sh-sh-sh-sh-sh!”
“He’s down here!” Brattleboro called up.
“Max, why are you imitating Brattleboro? And who’s down there?”
“I am. He is. We both are. Now, look, 99, I think I’ve figured out a way to get us out of here. I still have that cord. I’m going to toss it up to you. You catch it. Then you can pull us out.”
“I don’t think I’m strong enough, Max.”
“99, in times of extreme peril, a person can summon an extra strength that he didn’t know existed. You can do it!”
“I’ll try, Max.”
Max tossed the cord up to her. She caught it.
“Ready, Max?”
“Just a second.”
Max looped the cord around his wrists. “All right, now, 99-pull!”
“Here goes nothing, Max!”
There was a sudden splash. Then 99 bobbed up beside Max and Brattleboro.
“Something apparently went wrong,” Max said thoughtfully. “I wonder what it was?”
“Max, you were the one who was in extreme peril,” 99 said. “So I guess you summoned an extra strength that you didn’t know existed and out-pulled me.”
“Well, I’m glad to know, at least, that the theory is still valid.”
“It’ll be a nice thing to die knowing,” Brattleboro commented.
“All is not lost quite yet,” Max said. “We still have the cord. Maybe I can lasso something up there in Guru Optimo’s bedroom. If it’s firm enough, if it holds, we can pull ourselves out.”
“Boy, would I like to be in a position to take bets,” Brattleboro said.
“Try it, Max,” 99 urged. “It’s our only chance.”
Max made a loop in the end of the cord, then slung it up through the opening. It did not return.
“Max! You caught something!”
“Don’t get your hopes too high, 99. I’ll give it a little tug, and-”
“What, Max?”
“I did catch something!” Max said excitedly.
“Will it hold us, Max?”
“Let me give it another little tug. We’ll-”
The chair came tumbling down through the opening, narrowly missing them. A moment later it popped to the surface and floated.
“Well, there’s that chair you were wishing you were to stand on,” Max said to Brattleboro.
“No help. I was talking about a highchair.”
“Try again, Max,” 99 said.
Max tried again.
He got a floor lamp.
“Once more, Max.”
This time he got a drawer from a chest of drawers.
“Don’t give up, Max.”
Next time, when he tugged on the cord, it held firm.
“Success!”
“Too bad,” Brattleboro said. “I was beginning to like it down here. The place is nicely furnished.”
Max climbed the rope, then pulled himself up through the opening. 99 followed. Then Brattleboro emerged from the trap.
Max peered into the dimness. “I wonder what I lassoed?” he said.
“Max, it doesn’t matter.”
“No, I’d like to know. When I tell this story to my grandchildren. . here I’ll turn on a light.”
He flicked on the switch. His eyes followed the cord.
“Oh. . hello, there,” Max smiled.
Guru Optimo was sitting up in bed looking at them curiously. The cord was looped around the large toe of his left foot.
“Thanks for the hand,” Max said.
“Foot, Max,” 99 corrected.
Guru Optimo grinned broadly. “No, Sergeant Preston, in the Royal Mounted Police we sit on the horse facing front,” he replied.
“Speaking of that,” Max said, “there’s a matter I’d like to discuss with you.”
“I have something to say too,” Brattleboro said.
Guro Optimo beamed. “I don’t care what your mother says, the light bulb is not an impractical invention-it will keep little children from sticking their fingers in empty sockets.”
“Yes, well, that’s very interesting,” Max said. “But what I’d like to discuss is renewing your agreement with Control. You promised, you know, that you would join us in our fight against the forces of evil. Now, as we look at it, a promise is a promise. So-”
“Don’t listen to that gush,” Brattleboro broke in. “A promise isn’t a promise. A promise is a tactic. You didn’t know what you were doing when you made that agreement with Control. They tricked you. Besides, you have a later agreement with KAOS. You promised you would join us in our fight against the forces of good!”
Guru Optimo looked from Brattleboro to Max, from Max to Brattleboro, confused.
“I would like to point out,” Max said, “that with us you would have the satisfaction of knowing that you were making the world a better place to live.”
Guru Optimo brightened.
“What’s that in comparison to the satisfaction of knowing that you were making the world a better place for you to live? Fooey on everybody else!” Brattleboro countered.
Guru Optimo glowed.
“You’re losing him, Max,” 99 warned.
“Speaking of old movies,” Max said to Guru Optimo, “remember last year’s famous Academy Award loser-‘A Beach Bunny Skins Her Shins at Jones Beach’? Recall what handsome, muscular, high-minded pre-med student Seth O’Scope said to gorgeous, blond, empty-headed apprentice beautician Spray O’Hara when she came staggering up onto the beach with her surf board wrapped around her neck? He said, ‘What doth it profit a man to gain the whole world and flunk social responsibility?’ Think about that.”
Guru Optimo looked blank.
“I don’t think that’s an old enough movie, Max,” 99 said.
“Maybe not. I’ll try again. Speaking of old-”
“What’s going on here!” a voice behind them roared.
Max, 99 and Brattleboro turned and found Lucky Bucky Buckley standing in the doorway.
“You’re just in time,” Max said. “We were playing a game of Trivia, with old movies as the subject. Your question is: In the movie ‘The General Died at Dawn,’ what time was it exactly? We know it was dawn, of course. But at what time exactly did the sun rise on that day?”
“Guards!” Buckley shouted.
Max shook his head. “That isn’t even close. Try 5:17 A.M.”
“5:17 A.M.?” Buckley guessed.
Again, Max shook his head. “You were closer when you said ‘guards!’ ”
“Zop’em!” Buckley screamed at Guru Optimo.