“And knock down the door?”
“Knock it down? 99, this sound is so destructive it will splinter that door to ashes.”
“Wonderful, Max. What did our scientists have in mind when they developed it?”
“They were having trouble getting the lid off a jelly jar.”
“Oh. But, Max, if it’s that powerful-”
“Later, 99,” Max interrupted, dialing.
Operator: Maybe you bought seven packs of gum at a going-out-of-business sale. At four cents apiece, that’s twenty-eight cents.
Max: Nevermind that now, Operator. Get me the Chief.
Operator: I wouldn’t call him if I couldn’t explain that twenty-eight cents.
Max: Will you let me worry about that, Operator?
Operator: I’m afraid you’ll get fired, Max. Then I wouldn’t have your kooky calls to listen to. I’d have to fold up my cot and go home.
Max: Really, Operator, would that be so terrible?
Operator: I’d miss my family. They’re living here at the telephone company with me.
Max: Your whole family?
Voice: Hi, Max-this is Uncle Ned.
Max: Supervisor!
Operator: All right, all right, don’t be a stool pigeon! With whom did you wish to speak to whom, Please?
Max: The Chief! And fast!
(click)
Chief: Control. . Chief here. .
Max: It’s me, Agent 86, Chief.
Chief: Good-got that door opened, eh? All right now, Max, about that twenty-eight cents. Do you have any idea-
Max: Chief, the door is still locked. That’s why I called you. Remember that marvelous gadget that R amp; D developed last week-the one that works on the principle of high-pitched sound waves?
Chief: You mean the jelly jar opener, Max?
Max: Right, Chief. Now-
Operator: Are you listening, Uncle Ned? Here comes the kooky part. Max wants to use the jelly jar opener on the door.
Voice: Hee-hee-hee! Old Maxie!
Chief: Who was that!
Max: Ignore it, Chief. Here’s the thing-would it be possible to send that sound over the telephone line? I’d like to use it to disintegrate this door.
Chief: We could try it, Max. I have the gadget right here. It’s sitting on my desk.
Max: Isn’t that a little dangerous, Chief? A gadget like that, sitting around on a desk.
Chief: I don’t intend to leave it here, Max. I’m taking it home with me tonight. I have a jar of pickles that’s been sitting in the refrigerator for months and the lid has rusted. I thought-
Max: I understand, Chief. But, could we take care of my door first? I’ll aim my shoe at it, and you send the sound over the line-all right?
Chief: Just let me know when you’re ready, Max.
Max: Pardon, Chief? I didn’t get that.
Chief: Ready, I said.
Max: Ready?
(Sound of sizzling wires)
Chief: Did that do it, Max?
Max: I didn’t have it aimed at the door yet, Chief.
Chief: Where was it aimed?
Max: I’d rather not say, Chief. But I’ll tell you this much-it’ll be a long time before I ever have to wash my right ear again.
Voice: Hee-hee-hee! Old Maxie!
Max: Will you just stay out of this, Uncle Ned, please? Chief-try it again. When I say ‘now.’
Chief: Now?
Max: Yes, now.
(Sound of sizzling wires)
Max: Perfect, Chief! Where that door was, there is nothing but a small pile of ashes!
Chief: Good, Max. Now, can we discuss that twenty-eight cents?
Max: I’d like to finalize this mission first, Chief, if you don’t mind.
Chief: How long would it take to explain twenty-eight cents, Max?
Max: All right-just say I made a couple phone calls.
Chief: Phone calls are a dime apiece. This is for twenty-eight cents.
Max: Then call it two and eight-tenths phone calls, Chief.
Chief: Finally! I don’t know why you have to make such a big problem out of a little matter like twenty-eight cents, Max. All right, that takes care of it. Good luck with the mission.
Operator: Max? Uncle Ned wants to know if he’ll have time for a nap before you make your next kooky call.
Max: Supervisor!
(click)
11
Max and 99 left the dieing room and made their way quietly along the corridor.
“Where are we going, Max?” 99 asked, whispering.
“To find Lucky Bucky and Guru Optimo.”
“I know that. But, I mean where are we going to look?”
“We’ll start on this floor and search every room. Then we’ll-”
They had reached a corner and Max had suddenly halted.
“What is it, Max?”
“We’re not going to have any trouble finding Lucky Bucky and Guru Optimo, 99.”
99 peeked around the corner. Lucky Bucky and Guru Optimo were standing there, facing them.
99 waggled her fingers and smiled amiably. “Hi.”
“Well. . out of the dieing room into the fire, eh?” Lucky Bucky said.
Guru Optimo grinned broadly. “You’ve got the idea, Lassie. But I sent you for the morning paper, not a gang of counterfeiters,” he said.
Max’s eyes narrowed. “All right, Lucky Bucky, are you ready to surrender, or do we have to start running up and down the halls again?”
“I can answer that in one contraction, Maxie Baby,” Lucky Bucky replied.
“Yes?”
Lucky Bucky turned to Guru Optimo. “Zop’em!”
Guru Optimo raised his hand.
Max and 99 darted between Guru Optimo and Lucky Bucky and raced down the corridor. As they whipped around a corner a flash of light exploded behind them.
“Guards!” they heard Lucky Bucky shout.
Max and 99 reached a stairway and dashed upward. They entered another corridor.
“Into one of these rooms!” Max said.
He threw open a door and he and 99 ran into the room. Max slammed the door behind them.
“Max! This is Guru Optimo’s room! Look-there’s the hole in the wall to the secret passage!”
“We couldn’t have picked a better room, 99! Quick, let’s get out of here!”
“Max, what-”
“Because this room leads to the secret passageway,” Max explained, “and the secret passageway leads either to the dungeon or the music room.”
“Music room?”
“Where we saw those old musical instruments-remember?”
“Oh. . yes. .”
“Come on, 99,” Max said, taking her hand and leading her into the secret passageway.
“Max, I still don’t understand-”
“Quiet, 99. I’ll explain later.”
They descended the steps in the secret passageway. A few moments later they entered the music room.
“Understand now, 99?” Max said.
She shook her head.
“A good general always leaves a way open for retreat,” Max explained. “You see, from here, if Lucky Bucky and Guru Optimo and the guards come in through the doorway, we can escape by way of the secret passage. And, if they come in through the secret passage, we can escape through the doorway.”
“Max, that’s really brilliant-really!”