“Of course. But we couldn’t have done that if we’d stayed in Guru Optimo’s room. Because there was only the doorway and the. . Ummmmm. . well, here, we won’t be bored. We can amuse ourselves by looking at these old musical instruments.” He indicated an instrument that looked like a stringed watermelon.
“What did you say that is, 99?”
“That’s a strumplecord, Max.”
“How do you know that?”
“See that little brass plate attached to it, Max? It says ‘strumplecord.’ ”
“Oh.”
“And the brass plate on this one says ‘saxopular.’ ”
“All right, 99, I understand the system now.”
“Aren’t they beautiful, Max!”
“Well. . I don’t know that beautiful is exactly the word for some of them. This one, for instance. The one here that looks like a bass fiddle.”
“Mmmmm, you’re right. It is sort of ugly. I wonder why it’s wearing a derby hat?”
“I thought that was a funny-shaped bow.”
“What does it say on the brass plate, Max?”
Max bent down and read. “It says-” He straightened and stared at the instrument. “-V. T. Brattleboro?”
The instrument tipped its hat. “I come from a musical family,” Brattleboro explained. “When we all sat down to the table together we looked like the New York Philharmonic Orchestra.”
“Really?” 99 said. “Why?”
“We sat on folding chairs.”
“I don’t think-” Max began.
But at that moment they heard Lucky Bucky’s voice in the corridor. “Guards! — into the music room!” it shouted.
“Max! They’re coming!”
“All right-everybody out through the secret passage!”
They ran to the opening in the wall-then halted.
“Somebody’s in there!” Brattleboro said.
A voice came from the passageway. “Of course I’ll love you as long as I live, darling. Now, step aside and let the firing squad do its job,” it said.
“Anybody recognize that voice?” Max frowned.
“Guru Optimo!” 99 said. “Max, we’re trapped! Guru Optimo in the passageway, and Lucky Bucky at the door!”
“What a dumbhead!” Brattleboro said to Max. “You should have left a way open for a retreat!”
“Well, it’s too late for that now,” Max said. “We’ll just have to fight it out, man to man.”
“What about me, Max?” 99 asked.
“Woman to man, in your case, 99.”
“But, Max, we don’t have a chance. Guru Optimo will zop us!”
“I know, 99. But until- Wait a minute! 99, remember when we were in that bucket and you were hypnotized? You thought you were the Staten Island Ferry-”
“Are you going to start that again, Max?”
“I know you don’t remember, 99, but that’s exactly what happened. The spell was broken when the moonlight, reflected in your hand mirror, flashed in your eyes.”
“Max, your story gets more preposterous every time you tell it.”
“Just give me your hand mirror again, 99.”
“What for?” she asked, opening her purse.
“If a flash of moonlight can break a spell, why can’t it create a spell?”
“I don’t know,” Brattleboro said. “Why can’t it?”
“What I’m getting at is, maybe it can!” Max replied. “Now, when Guru Optimo steps into this room, I’m going to catch a beam of moonlight in this mirror and flash it in his eyes. I may be able to hypnotize him.”
“Max, there’s one thing,” 99 said. “There’s-”
“Don’t tell me why it won’t work, 99,” Max interrupted. “You might shake my confidence.”
“But, Max-”
The door to the room flew open. Lucky Bucky appeared, and behind him were the guards.
“Gotcha!” Lucky Bucky shouted victoriously.
At that very same instant, Guru Optimo stepped into the room from the secret passageway.
“Well, here goes. .” Max said, raising the mirror.
Nothing happened.
“See what I mean, Max?” 99 said.
“I see that it isn’t working,” he replied puzzledly. “But I don’t understand why it isn’t.”
“It’s mid-afternoon, Max. We don’t get much moonlight at that time of day.”
“That could explain it,” Max frowned.
Lucky Bucky shouted to Guru Optimo. “Zop’em!”
Guru Optimo raised his hand. There was a flash of light. The flash of light hit the hand mirror-and was reflected. It bounced back and hit Guru Optimo square in the eyes. His face lit up. His hand opened and a bright, shiny object fell from it and hit the floor and rolled toward a corner.
Lucky Bucky groaned. “Every once upon a time some little thing goes wrong,” he commented gloomily.
“Max!” 99 shouted gleefully. “Guru Optimo hypnotized himself!”
Max walked to the corner and picked up the shiny object that had fallen from Guru Optimo’s hand. “Amazing!” he said.
“What is it, Max?”
“The source of his power,” Max replied. “A Kennedy half-dollar. I had no idea these things could have such a hypnotic effect.”
Guru Optimo, as if in a trance, opened the case that held the strumpelcord and took the instrument from it. Wholly delighted, he began strumming it.
“Aiiii! A banjo player!” Lucky Bucky moaned.
“It’s the influence of the room,” Brattleboro said. “He’s turned himself into a musician.”
Guru Optimo got the saxopular and the hinkenschmaller from their cases. He began playing all three instruments at the same time. It sounded like someone falling downstairs with a load of garbage cans.
“I don’t recognize the tune,” Max said.
“I think he’s composing as he goes along,” 99 guessed.
Guru Optimo began singing:
Good dog, Lassie!
You’ll light up the ice box yet!
I’ll love you ’til the day I die,
Although you walk with a lisp!
“I’ll make a bet that by the time we get off this island that will be at the top of the charts,” Max said.
“And this is the booby I had penciled in for the emperor of the world!” Lucky Bucky wailed. “What a comedown for my comeback!”
“Poor Lucky Bucky,” 99 said sympathetically.
“99-he’s the enemy,” Max pointed out.
“But, Max, he’s harmless now. Without Guru Optimo, what can he do?”
A tear trickled down Lucky Bucky’s cheek. “All I wanted was to be a good agent to everybody,” he said. “Ninety per cent of everybody’s income-was that too much to ask?”
“Max. . do something. .” 99 pleaded.
“Well, I might be able to help,” Max said grudgingly. “Guru Optimo is of no use to us any more, since he’s become a musician. The fate of the entire civilized world, as we know it, is no longer in danger. So. .”
“Yes, Max?”
“This castle,” Max said. “Why not turn it into a resort hotel?”
Lucky Bucky stopped weeping and listened.
“The great hall would make a dandy restaurant,” Max continued. “And the guards, with their vacant expressions, would make perfect waiters.”
Lucky Bucky beamed.
“And for entertainment-why not Guru Optimo?” Max said. “I can see it up in lights now: ‘Guru Optimo on strumplecord, saxopular and hinkenschmaller-the world’s one and only one-man trio!’ ”
“He’ll be a star!” Lucky Bucky enthused.
“And you’ll be a star’s agent,” Max said.
“My comeback has just made a comeback!” Lucky Bucky crowed.
Brattleboro sniffled.
“Trouble?” Max said.
“Happy endings always make me sad,” Brattleboro explained.
“Well, that seems to close the lid on this case,” Max said. “Shall we go?”
There seemed to be agreement, so Max, 99 and Brattleboro headed toward the door.
Lucky Bucky called after them. “Look for us in the audience on the Ed Sullivan Show!”
A few minutes later they emerged from the castle. Max took off his shoe and began dialing. “I’ll have the Chief send the helicopter for us,” he said. “It can pick us up where it dropped us off.”
“But, Max-”
“Hold it, 99. I think I have the Chief on the line.”
Max: Chief? Max here. .
Operator: Just a minute, Maxie. I want to wake Uncle Ned. He’d never forgive me if I let him nap through one of your kooky phone calls.