Max: All right, Operator-anything to keep peace in the family. But, in the meantime, would you connect me with the Chief, please?
(click)
Chief: Control. . Chief here. .
Max: It’s me, Chief. Mission accomplished. Once again the forces of good have triumphed over the forces of evil. The confused alarms of strife and struggle have been stilled. The white dove, freed from its chains, flutters aloft. Where once trod the heavy boot of jeopardy, now trips the light fantastic. Joy abounds-except, perhaps, in Mudville.
Chief: Mudville, Max?
Max: There is no joy in Mudville, Chief. Mighty Casey has struck out.
Chief: Max, what exactly are you trying to tell me?
Max: Didn’t you get it, Chief? I was asking you to send the helicopter for us.
Chief: Max, that’s great! You’ve recaptured Guru Optimo!
Max: Not exactly, Chief. I don’t think you’d want him any more. He’s off-tune.
Operator: Excuse me, Chief. . Max. . Max, will you do that line about the heavy boot of jeopardy again? It’s for Uncle Ned. He’s taking notes.
Max: I’m sorry, Operator, but there isn’t time now. He’ll have to read the book. It’s on page-
Chief: Max, nevermind about that! Have you recaptured Guru Optimo or haven’t you?
Max: No, Chief. Weren’t you listening? I told you, you wouldn’t want him any more. He hypnotized himself. He’s harmless now.
Chief: Couldn’t we use him for something, Max?
Max: Well. . could we use a tall, skinny music box?
Chief: I guess not, Max. I’ll send the helicopter for you. Where do you want it to pick you up?
Max: Where it dropped us, Chief. Chief. . you sound a little disappointed.
Chief: I just don’t know how to explain this in my report, Max. This mission cost Control a lot of money. And what do we have to show for it?
Max: Ensuring the continued existence of the entire civilized world isn’t exactly small potatoes, Chief.
Chief: I know. But I sent you to bring back a person. A person is something that can be seen, touched, or, if need be, tortured. But the continued existence of the entire civilized world is. . Well, do you see what I’m getting at, Max?
Max: You’ve changed your mind about the tall, skinny music box?
Chief: Forget it, Max. I’ll try to explain it to you when you get back to headquarters.
Max hung up.
“What’s the matter, Max?” 99 asked.
“The Chief is disappointed.”
“He is? Why?”
“He didn’t say.”
“We better get going,” Brattleboro said. “I’d hate to miss that helicopter. I understand there isn’t a next one.”
They plunged into the jungle, headed for the clearing where the helicopter had dropped them. The vines lashed at their faces, the brambles tore at their clothes.
“Max, we should have waited for the helicopter at the castle,” 99 said. “I tried to tell you that.”
“Wouldn’t work, 99.”
“Why not?”
“The helicopter is meeting us at the clearing.”
“What I- Oh, nevermind.”
“Too bad it had to end this way,” Brattleboro commented sadly.
“You’ll get over it,” Max said. “A happy ending isn’t fatal.”
“It’s not that. My Chief will be disappointed in me, that’s what I meant.”
“Why?” Max asked interestedly.
“Well, this mission cost KAOS a lot of money. And what do we have to show for it?”
“Ensuring the continued existence of the entire civilized world isn’t exactly small potatoes, you know.”
“Yes,” Brattleboro nodded. “But my Chief sent me out to bring back a person. A person is something you can see, touch, or, if need be, torture. But the continued existence of the entire civilized world is. . Well, you know what I mean.”
“I think I’m beginning to get it,” Max replied.
Max signalled to 99 to drop back and let Brattleboro get ahead of them.
“What is it, Max?” she whispered.
“What the Chief was trying to tell me, 99, is that he wants me to bring back a person.”
“Are you sure?”
“Well, he wasn’t interested in a music box.”
“Did he mention anyone by name, Max?”
“No, but he didn’t have to. I have a very quick mind, 99. It’s Brattleboro he wants me to bring back. Somehow, the Chief has the idea that this mission was a bust. But if we could capture one of KAOS’s top agents. .”
“Brattleboro!”
“Right, 99! Now, here’s how we’ll handle it. When we spot the helicopter, you yell, ‘There it is!’ That will get Brattleboro’s attention. When he looks up, I’ll give him a karate chop and render him unconscious. Then we’ll take him back to Control with us-a captive!”
“Max. . I don’t know. .”
“Of course, 99, it’s a dirty rotten trick. But when a nice guy like the Chief asks you to pull a dirty rotten trick, how can you refuse?”
“I suppose so. Let’s see, now. . I’ll yell ‘There it is!’ ”
“And I’ll chop.”
“All right, Max. Max. . we’d better catch up with Brattleboro. He’s looking back. And he looks as if he has something on his mind.”
“Probably troubled about disappointing his Chief,” Max said. “I know how he feels.”
“Yes, you and he have the same problem.”
“I wonder how he’d handle it if he were in my shoes?” Max mused.
A few moments later they all reached the clearing. They scanned the sky.
“I can’t see anything,” Brattleboro said.
“You’re standing in the wrong position,” Max said. “Stand with your back to me.”
“I just hope the helicopter can find us,” 99 said. “There are probably hundreds of little islands like this around here.”
“It’ll be along,” Max assured her. He turned to Brattleboro. “Well, this is about the end of the line for us,” he said. “Frankly, when we started out, I had my doubts about a KAOS agent and two Control agents working together. I was sure there would be a lot of conflict. But I guess that our experience proves that it’s really possible for the lion and the lamb to lie down together.”
Brattleboro looked around. “Where?”
“What I mean is, our experience proves that it’s possible for two natural enemies, like the lion and the lamb, or like Control and KAOS, to work together.”
“You’re right,” Brattleboro said. “I’ve had a wonderful time on this mission. And not once did I think of you or 99 as the enemy.”
“Not even when you tried to kill us?” 99 asked.
“I was having nice thoughts all the while.”
“Brattleboro, I’d be very pleased if you’d call me friend,” Max said.
“You changing your name?”
“No, no. I mean from now on, I want you to think of me as your friend.”
“You, too,” Brattleboro smiled. “You think of me as your friend, too-okay?”
Max extended a hand. “Buddy. .”
Brattleboro started to respond in kind. “Buddy. .”
“There it is!” 99 shouted.
Max and Brattleboro clipped each other with a karate chop. They dropped to the ground, each one having rendered the other unconscious.
A second or so later, the helicopter landed. The pilot jumped down. He looked puzzledly at Max, unconscious on the sand, then at Brattleboro, unconscious beside him.
“Boy, that’s a relief,” the pilot said. “From up there, when I was coming down, you know what these two looked like?”
99 shook her head.
“A lion and a lamb,” the pilot replied.
“No,” 99 said. “They’re just. . just buddies. .”