47 Deeply Moving
‘“The sense of danger must not disappear: …”’ said Klein to Melissa on the telephone.
‘“The way is certainly both short and steep,”’ she replied, ‘“However gradual it looks from here; …”’
‘“Look if you like, …”’
‘“But you will have to leap.” Are you leaping?’
‘It seems that way. When can you and Leslie move in?’
‘Are you sure you want us to?’
‘Yes, I’m sure, Melissa.’
‘It’s a strange situation.’
‘That’s what life is, isn’t it?’
‘I mean, I know I’m taking advantage of you but at the same time I know that you want me to.’
‘That’s exactly right — I have no illusions about you and me and this is how I want it.’
‘Well, we can do it tomorrow evening if that’s a good time for you. We’ve only got the website gear and some clothes — no furniture except the tables and file cabinets.’
‘Fine, come ahead whenever you’re ready.’
‘You’ve got two phone lines, right?’
‘Right.’
‘We’ll need four more. I think it usually takes about a week before they can install them.’
‘I’ll order them now.’
‘Thanks. I’m really looking forward to this move, Harold.’
‘So am I, Melissa. Being an old fool is the most fun I’ve had in a long time.’
‘If you’re having fun maybe you’re not such a fool. See you tomorrow. Kiss, kiss, kiss.’
He kissed her back. ‘See you tomorrow.’
That Melissa had been able to quote the Auden poem with him pleased Klein greatly, made him feel that whatever was between them was growing and continually opening up new territory. After he rang off he paced the house restlessly, considering the working and sleeping arrangements. The front bedroom where he and Hannelore had slept would be for Melissa and …? Him? Or Leslie? A hot wave of irritation flooded over him; he resented having to consider Leslie, resented the idea of yielding place to him. On the other hand, the thought of claiming a regular place in Melissa’s bed in payment for a roof over her head embarrassed him; also the thought of his old body beside her young one every night made him squirm. No, the front bedroom would be for Melissa and Leslie. He would take the back bedroom and the website equipment could be set up in the guest room.
The house now wore a look of surprise and expectancy; encountering him in odd places scratching his head and muttering to himself, it found his presence changed. Standing before the Meissen girl, Klein was argumentative. ‘Why,’ he said, ‘is there such a contradiction in you? You’re a porcelain oxymoron: you’ve got a body that’s made for sin and a face like the Virgin Mary and you’ve never looked at me once in all these years — you’ve always got your eye on those invisible balls on that invisible pitch that’s behind me when I stand in front of you. What’s your message? Are you trying to tell me that the game is elsewhere, that I’m missing the point?’
Her eyes entranced and dreamy as always, she looked past Klein at the unseen world behind him.
‘All right,’ he said. ‘Maybe I’m mad. It’s the natural state.’
Just don’t get too natural, said Oannes.
What can happen that’s bad?
You never know.
That night Klein dreamt that Hannelore was walking towards him in the Fulham Road, the sunlight behind her shining through her hair. They both stopped and she looked at him sadly. ‘You left me,’ he said. ‘I didn’t leave you.’
Early the next evening he was watching at the front window when the van appeared with Leslie driving. Klein went out to meet them. ‘Here we are,’ said Melissa. ‘Hi,’ said Leslie.
‘Hi,’ said Klein.
There was no parking space in front of the house so Leslie and Melissa unloaded the van in the street and put everything on the pavement. Melissa kissed Klein. ‘Well, Harold,’ she said, ‘this is it.’
‘Yes, it is. I’m not strong enough to carry you over the threshold and of course it’s not really that kind of thing.’
‘Just as well, since there are two of us and Leslie’s a lot heavier than I am.’
While Leslie drove off to find a space Melissa and Klein carried things up the steps and into the house. ‘Don’t take anything heavy, Harold,’ she said.
‘I won’t. The computers go in the room all the way at the back.’
This one too, said Oannes when Leslie reappeared.
That’s how it is, said Klein. The work was soon done. He looked away when Leslie took his things into the front bedroom. ‘Shall we order a pizza?’ he said. ‘I thought we’d do the shopping tomorrow.’
‘Sounds good,’ said Melissa. ‘Cheese and tomato pepperoni, mushrooms, green peppers, onions, and anchovies?’
‘Whatever does it for you.’
‘Got any beer?’ said Leslie.
‘There’s an Oddbins just up the road,’ said Klein. ‘Why don’t you get a couple of six-packs while I order the pizza?’ He gave him a twenty-pound note.
Leslie’s eyes met his for rather a long time as he took the money. ‘Any particular kind?’
‘I mostly drink wine, so get whatever you like.’
‘What beer do you drink when you do drink beer, Prof?’
‘Beck’s, and I’d rather you didn’t call me Prof, Leslie.’
‘Sorry! Should I call you Mr Klein?’
‘Harold will do nicely, OK?’
‘OK, nicely is how I want to do it, Harold.’ He moved away pantherishly, the primal waves of his maleness continuing their transmission after he was out of sight. Receiving the message, Klein shrank into non-existence, reached into it, hauled himself out by the scruff of the neck, and shook his head.
He could be trouble, said Oannes.
Tell me about it, said Klein.
‘Leslie’s a lot of fun when you get to know him,’ said Melissa.
‘I’ll bet he is. I can see already that he’s got a great sense of humour.’
Melissa was standing by the wall where Pegase Noir used to hang. She touched the blank space it had left behind. ‘That winged horse flew away with some of the past, Harold. Now there’s more space for the present, wouldn’t you say?’
‘I suppose so.’ He wished she would move away from the mantelpiece and the Meissen girl. She was running her finger over the nipple of the figure’s exposed right breast, exactly as she had done the first time she was in this room. Maybe this is a dream, he thought. Maybe I’ll wake up and she won’t be here and I’ve never met her.
‘We’ve got the makings of a very pleasant arrangement here, Harold.’ She smiled suggestively. ‘Don’t spoil it for yourself.’
‘God forbid.’ He put Egberto Gismonti’s Sol Do Meio Dia on the CD player and the guitar filled the room with Amazonian jungle shadows. ‘That’s a nice sound,’ said Melissa. She shook her hips and rolled her shoulders to the music while he stood there danceless.
The pizza arrived, Leslie and the beer shortly after. They ate at the kitchen table. Klein opened a bottle of red which he and Melissa shared. Leslie drank Special Brew from the can. ‘They were out of Beck’s,’ he said.
‘Could I have the change?’ said Klein.
Leslie gave it to him. There was a beaded lamp over the kitchen table; Klein had always found its light cosy but now it seemed to fix the strangeness of this gathering like a surveillance photograph. He imagined the police examining it and asking questions. Really, he said to himself, what have I to feel guilty about?
Don’t ask me, said Oannes.