I shove at his chest, and he takes a few steps back. Then I drop to my knees in front of him. I lash out, taking hold of his jeans and yanking them down. He grabs my hair, pulling my head back harshly. “Don’t,” he rasps.
“Try and stop me, Axel.”
He keeps a firm grip in my hair, but I fight him. I take hold of his jeans, and I pull hard, bringing his hips towards me. Then I yank them down. A pained cry leaves his lips when I wrap one hand around his cock, and I tear the condom off before beginning to stroke. The piercings graze my fingers as I move my hands with hard, determined strokes.
“Stop...” he pants.
“But you want this,” I cry, feeling tears well in my eyes. “You won’t let me have you any other way. You want me to fight. You want my mouth on your cock, and you want me to hate it, isn’t that right? Isn’t that how this works? Well, I hate it, Axel, I fucking hate it.”
Then I lower my head, and I wrap my lips around his cock, taking him deep with one movement. His pained hiss fills the room, and his hips buck, filling my mouth even further. Salty tears run down my face, and I can taste them as my head bobs up and down, swallowing him deep into the back of my throat. I choke on a sob as I wrap my fingers around the base of his cock, and begin stroking.
This is so fucked up.
So beautifully fucked up.
And I feel like I belong here, on the ground...like this...broken.
“Meadow,” he practically chokes. “Stop.”
“No,” I cry, taking him deeper, sliding my hands down to cup his firm, warm balls.
I look up, and he’s shaking his head from side to side, agony in his features. He’s hurting. This is a situation he’s been in before, and the idea of that has a mortified sob wrenching from my throat. I slide my hand back further, until I feel the soft flesh between his balls and his ass. I press in there, and his ragged cries grow louder.
“Fuck, please,” he begs, tugging my head back.
I fight against him, and keep my mouth closed over his cock while pressing my finger into that soft skin. I feel his cock swell in my mouth, and with one final press he comes, with a gush that shoots into the back of my throat. Warm salty liquid fills my mouth, and his pained bellows fill the room. Tears burn my eyes as I take all of him, and then I let him go, slumping down onto the floor.
He doesn’t look at me as he turns, and charges out of the room.
What the fuck did I just do?
Did I just break something that was already so broken?
CHAPTER 13
MEADOW
Jump my sweet, accept defeat.
My fingers tremble as I take hold of the door handle. I shove it open, and blink through the blurring in my vision. I need to find Axel. What I did back there...it was so cold...so heartless. I walk down the halls, and my head is spinning from the drugs that were clearly put in my drink earlier. I run into Jax in the hall, and his eyes are frantic. When he sees me, he storms over and grips my shoulders.
“Where the fuck is he?”
What.
“I don’t...”
“Where the fuck is Axel?”
Oh God, he’s gone.
“I don’t...know...”
“He’s gone, we’re on lockdown, and he’s gone. What the fuck happened?”
I ignore him as I step past his body, feeling everything in mine shaking. Where would Axel go? I move through the halls past people like a zombie, keeping my eyes fixed on the door. The minute I step out of it, I hear Colt’s voice thunder through the night. “Meadow just left. Get her back, now!”
Even though my leg is still achy, I pick up into a run, heading for the gate. The moment I reach it, I launch upward, tangling my fingers through the wire. I haul my body up and over, scratching myself on broken bits of wire. I land with a thump on the other side, and I cry out, but I don’t stop. I get to my feet and I begin to run along side of the road, heading for the bridge and the trees that lie beside it.
I need to find Axel.
I reach the bridge within five minutes, and I begin to cross it but skid to a halt when I see the shadowy form standing over the other side of the railings. Axel. My heart leaps into my throat. Is he going to kill himself? I force my legs to move, even though all they want to do is stay glued to the ground. I reach the railings, and wind begins whipping my hair across my face. I stare at him, and I see the pain in his features, but I know he’s not going to hurt himself.
I can see it in his eyes.
So, I do the only thing I can think of. I climb over the railings, and stand beside him.
He turns, and his eyes widen slightly, but he says nothing.
“You know, jumping off... it helps. It gives you a sense of power, a sense of freedom. It used to scare me, but now, somehow, it soothes me. Jump with me, Axel.”
I reach my hand out, and he turns, staring down at it with confusion in his gaze. I swallow as I peer down at the water below us. My entire body begins to tingle, and a feeling of fear fills my chest. It’s terrifying being up here, but the moment you let go, that fear is replaced with relief. For a moment, just a moment, you feel free. I stare at my blank hand, wondering if he’ll take it.
“You can trust me,” I whisper. “I know I let you down once, but I won’t do it again.”
Just as I’m about to give up and pull it away, he reaches out, and his large fingers curl through mine.
We don’t look at each other. We just step over the side.
Together.
The minute we begin to fall, I feel my heart leap into my throat, and fear course through my veins. It’s an addictive feeling, one I’m growing accustomed to. The minute our bodies hit the water, and that all familiar sting radiates over my skin. I feel my heart begin to calm, and a sense of peace washes over me. I surface before Axel, but when he comes up, I hear his rough coughing.
I can see him beneath the moonlight, and I watch with need as his hair falls across his forehead, making him look so ridiculously perfect. He meets my gaze, and I’m really not sure what is going to come next. I hurt him. I pushed all his limits. I expect, more than anything, that he will open his mouth and spit curses at me, making me regret every second of what I did earlier.
Like I don’t already regret it enough.
But he doesn’t yell at me, or spit curses. No...he lunges towards me in the water, and his fingers curl around the back of my head. I gasp, but he smothers it quickly, by pressing his lips over mine. My entire body sinks into him, and a contented sigh leaves my lips. He crushes his lips harder against mine, turning our kiss from demanding to desperate. I reach up and tangle my fingers into his hair, tugging him closer to me.
He begins pulling our bodies backward until we reach the bank. Wrenching his mouth from mine, he lifts me, and places my body on the soft grass. Moments later, he’s beside me, laying me down, pressing his lips to my cool, wet cheeks. He snakes his tongue out, sliding it across and over my flesh before pressing his lips back against mine and kissing me once more. His free hand slides down my side, finding the hem of my shirt.
The moment I feel his fingers slide up underneath it, I groan. His fingers tickle my flesh as he moves them higher, finding the curve of my breasts. With a groan, he cups them, massaging them in his big palms. I whimper, and arch my back, not getting enough of what I need from him. What I’ve needed for so long. He is my undoing, and nothing I tell myself will change that.
I reach up, and slip my own hands under his shirt, finding his hard, wet flesh. I gently press my nails into his skin, and a ragged groan leaves his lips. He takes hold of my pants, and he yanks at them, pulling them down as he pulls his body away from mine. I moan as he moves lower, taking hold of my panties and tearing them off in one quick swipe. Then his hands are on my hips, and he’s using his face to spread my legs, before his mouth finds my pussy.