That frightens me.
As soon as we step back into the compound, Axel turns to me, his eyes scanning my face.
“Where the hell did you learn to throat-punch?”
I meet his eyes dead on. “I’ve learned a lot. I’ve had a badass biker chasing me for over a year.”
For the first time in the years since darkness consumed Axel’s life, I see him smile.
And it’s beautiful.
I sleep for two solid days after that, exhausted both physically and mentally. I can’t function without rest, and Axel has given me what I need for showers, so I finally feel refreshed.
I wake on the morning of day three to the sun shining through and into my eyes. I groan and stretch, noticing that the pain in my leg has finally faded to nearly nothing. I peer around the empty room, and see the space beside me hasn’t been slept in.
Which means Axel hasn’t come back in here.
He’s been avoiding me once again, and I won’t lie and say I’m not frustrated by that. After what happened at the bridge the other night, I thought we might have broken some ice, but it turns out nothing has changed. He’s still as angry as he was before, but I will give it to him—he’s not snapping at me...as much. I close my eyes for a moment, knowing I should just leave, but also knowing that my heart isn’t going to allow that.
I can’t turn my back on him again.
I get out of the bed, stretching with a loud yawn. I ruffle about until I find a dress and some panties, and then I head out into the halls. It’s quiet, which is unusual. I don’t know where the guys are.
I run into Miranda when I step into the kitchen. She’s making herself some coffee. When she sees me, her eyes narrow and a scowl forms on her face.
“Well, well, I can’t believe you’re still hanging around.”
I put a hand on my hip, and lean against the counter. “What would you have me do? Go out and get shot?”
She shrugs, and chews on a fingernail. “I really don’t care what happens to you.”
“Look,” I say, walking over and taking a coffee cup. “I get it. I wouldn’t like me, either. You’re what he’s had for many years, and I’ve come in, and suddenly he’s not looking at you the same. That’s not my fault. I didn’t ask to be here any more than you want me here.”
She narrows her eyes, and studies me. Then, she sighs. “I’ve always known I came second to you. Not even I’m that stupid.”
“Axel doesn’t like me, Miranda.”
“Do you honestly believe that?”
I turn to her, my eyes wide. “Do you have any idea how he’s treated me in the past week?”
“Do you have any idea how he would have treated you if you were anyone else? Do you not think that if you weren’t important, that he wouldn’t have just shot you, instead of chasing you for over a year?”
I’d never thought of it like that. My heart flutters.
“He didn’t kill me because he’s known me since I was a young girl. It’s got nothing to do with caring, or anything else.”
She snorts. “If you say so, but I can tell you now, Axel looks at you like you’re something different.”
I shake my head. I can’t believe it...not after everything Axel has said and done.
“So you’re telling me he hasn’t fucked you then?”
I feel my cheeks heat, and she snorts. “Exactly.”
“That means nothing. Axel probably fucks half the women in this compound.”
“No,” she says, her eyes growing a touch sad. “I’m the only one.”
Really? She’s the only one?
“Why?”
She glances at the door for a second, before saying, “Because I let him fuck me the only way he knows how.”
“Restrained?” I say in a small, timid voice.
“Restrained, and fighting. It was good...for a while...I thought it was just a fetish, but I quickly realized that it ran far deeper. I started digging, I overheard things, and I figured it out. Axel was abused. I don’t know how, exactly, but when Beast took him for all those months, something bad happened. It fucked him up. Now, he needs to fuck women in a certain way to get off, it’s imbedded in his head. He won’t change who he is. I tried...I thought maybe I could be the one to save him, but then I heard him dreaming, and I knew there was only one person who could save Axel Wraithe.”
“And that is?” I say, feeling my eyes grow wide.
“You.”
I shake my head again. “Me?”
“You’re something to him, even if he won’t admit it. Don’t give up on him. I’m a lot of things, hell, I’m probably what you’d call a whore, but I see something in Axel that can’t be put back together by just anyone. It takes a special person, someone who knew what he was before all this. Don’t walk away, not if you don’t have to...I think he needs you.”
She gives me a weak smile, and walks out of the room, leaving me standing there...confused. I thought Miranda was just a cheap fuck for Axel, but I can see she actually cares about him, and I feel bad for her. Sometimes you just know you’re not enough for someone, no matter how desperately you want to be.
I take my coffee cup, and I walk out, staring down the empty halls. My guess, from experience, is that they’re at church, a bikers’ weekly meeting that no one is allowed to be involved in, except them.
I tred slowly toward Axel’s office, and I peer through the door when I open it. It’s surprisingly neat, for a biker’s office. I walk in, shutting the door quietly behind me. I walk over to his desk, and begin lifting papers and snooping. Don’t judge; I’m a woman, and let’s face it, we’d all think it, and most of us would do it. I open his top drawer, and the first thing I see there is a badge. A policeman’s badge.
I lift the golden, heavy piece into my hand, and stare down at it. I don’t really know a lot about Axel’s family, but maybe his granddad or someone close to him was a cop? It would make sense.
I place the badge down, and I catch a glimpse of my USB right at the back of the drawer. Seriously? He just left it in a drawer. Okay, granted, most of his men would never dare enter this office the way I have...but still.
I lift the device, and stare down at it. This caused so much pain for me, yet it brought me here, and sometimes I wonder if that happened for a reason. I hear the door knob turn, and I spin around, gaping. Axel walks in, and when he sees me, his eyes widen. His mighty arms cross over his chest. “The fuck are you doin’ in here?”
I could do one of two things in this situation: I could lie and stammer, and rush out of the room, or I could take Miranda’s advice, and I could push Axel, to see if there really is a chance for something between us. Seeing him standing at the door, his dark jeans hanging low on his hips, a tight black singlet stretched across his chest, makes me so damned wet I find myself squirming just looking at him.
I know what I want to do. I lift the USB into the air, and his eyes widen.
“You little...give me that, Meadow. Don’t fuckin’ start that bullshit with me. I refuse to chase you across the country again.”
I can’t help the smile that creeps across my face. Axel’s eyes narrow with confusion, and I keep my eyes locked on his as I bite my lip, and move my hand around to my back, holding it tight. I see the moment when he catches on, because his eyes sparkle, and then his expression turns hungry. He begins walking toward me, and I walk backward, quickly.
He lunges when he gets around behind the desk, but I quickly dodge him. With a smirk and a growl, he stalks toward me until my back is against the nearest wall. He presses his hard, large body against mine, and I quickly tuck the USB deep down into my panties, placing it right between my butt cheeks. Axel grips my shoulders, and runs his hands down over my shoulders and down my arms, until he reaches my ass.