God, I clench my hands tighter together, trying to steady my pounding heart.
“Your dad had only one choice. The bikers knew what he was, what he’d done. He had to go into witness protection. He didn’t want to make you go. You were young and fragile, so he was going to take you out of town, and let you go. He put all the information on the USB, and he was going to drive it to me to continue with the case...then you know what happened after that.”
I feel my eyes burn with tears, and I swallow, shaking my head rapidly.
“So...you want the information to take down Axel, too?”
He shakes his head. “I know you don’t believe it, but I turn a blind eye to my son’s club. It’s not easy, but I do it. I’ve always found a way to protect him, even if he doesn’t believe it. I want the information to take down Beast and his club, as well as a chain of other outlaw clubs.”
“Taking them down would cause a war, wouldn’t it?”
He shrugs. “No, not if we have enough information.”
“The information on the USB,” I whisper.
“I swear to you, Meadow. I will not bring any harm to my son’s club. They’re careful; we have nothing on them. They don’t have to be involved in this.”
“You’ll understand that I need time to process this?” I whisper, lifting my eyes and meeting his.
“I understand.”
I stand, feeling my knees wobble. “Do you know what happened to Axel?”
Raide shakes his head. “No. I tried to find out, but I could never get a lead.”
I nod, walking to the door. “Can I ask you one more thing, Raide?”
He nods, looking exhausted.
“Do you love him?”
He smiles weakly. “I never had a chance to get to know my son, to love him, but every part of me aches every day to try. I want to love him, Meadow. He just won’t let me.”
“I know the feeling,” I mumble under my breath.
Raide stands, walking over. He places a hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry about Mitchell...”
I swallow the lump that forms in my throat. “My dad didn’t deserve to die, but sometimes these things can’t be helped.”
“No,” he says. “They can’t. Do you have money to get yourself some accommodation?”
I smile, but it’s weak. “With all due respect, sir, but even if I didn’t, I wouldn’t ask you.”
He grins at me. “No, I suppose you wouldn’t. Let me at least pay for a cab to get you where you need to go.”
I won’t argue with that. “Okay, thank you.”
“Call me when you decide what to do, Meadow.”
I nod, and walk out of the room. My head is spinning.
MEADOW
I go to the only place I can think of. Even though it hurts to go back and face the memories that lay there, I have nowhere else to go. The cab stops, and I smile at the driver and get out. I stare up at the big house, and sigh. I hope Lady will let me stay a few days, because if she doesn’t, I don’t know where I’ll go.
I’m halfway up the drive when my cell buzzes. I stare down at the screen, and I’m surprised to see a text from Axel.
A – Are we goin to be runnin again?
I’m angry at him, but more than that, I want him to know that I’m done playing his little games.
M – I’m not running anywhere. I went to see Raide.
My phone is silent a long moment—too long. I lean against the tree, and wait for it to buzz again. It does, five minutes later.
A – Glad to see I mean so fuckin much to you, Meadow.
Oh, he’s not going to use that on me. No fucking way.
M – You wouldn’t give me answers. I had every right to go to him. Don’t make me feel bad about that. I don’t have to answer to you any more, remember?
A – No problem.
Ouch.
M – You know, I figured something out today...
A – And that is?
M – That I’m in love with a self-righteous pig who refuses to let me into his heart, even though I’ve fully accepted the darkness there. I’m tired of playing your games, Axel. We’re done here. Come and get your USB. To be honest, I don’t care what you do with it. I’m done playing with you, and it’s about time I moved on. I’m at Lady’s. Send someone to get it, or get it yourself. I no longer care.
I switch the phone off before I can see if he answers or not. A loud crack of thunder fills the sky, and I stare up at the angry gray clouds rolling in. I didn’t see them coming. I rush up the stairs of Lady’s front porch, and rap on the door. A moment later, it swings open, and Lady stands there, staring at me with shock.
“Sugar, what are you doing here?”
I fumble a little with my words. “Well, uh, it’s a long story but, uh...I’ve got no where else to go, Lady.”
She smiles right away. “Come in, love, it’s freezing out, and we’re about to get rained on.”
I step into her house, and I feel a little shiver pass over me. I try not to think about what went down here, because I know it’s the only place I have to go right now.
“You look hungry, sugar. Let me give you something to eat.”
Lady rushes into the kitchen, and I sit on the couch, trying to think of anything but the fact that I just told Axel I loved him over a text. I mean, come on, seriously? I shake my head, disgusted with myself for losing my temper.
Lady comes out a moment later with a sandwich and a cup of tea. She places them down in front of me, and looks at me sadly.
“This can’t be good if you’re here, and not with Axel.”
I give her a weak smile. “I found out about his dad, and all the things that happened with mine, and when I asked him what happened to him he still refused to tell me. I love him, Lady, but I can’t keep coming second to his demons.”
She nods, understanding. “Axel is a hard man. I wish there was something I could say to make this better for you.”
“It’s okay, I’m not here to feel better. I just needed somewhere to go.”
She smiles, and taps my hand. “I have to go out now, love. But you’re welcome to stay. Go back up to your room, and make yourself at home.”
“Thank you, Lady. I can’t express just how much this means to me.”
She beams. “I’m sure I get it.”
I’m sure she does, too.
CHAPTER 24
MEADOW
Come back to me, my love, let me give you all I have.
I flop down onto the bed in Lady’s guest room, and contemplate turning my phone on. Part of me wants to know what Axel said; the other really doesn’t. I decide that leaving it off is my best option right now. I roll to my side, and stare out the window. The storm is rolling in, crackling in the distance. Rain is thundering against the window, making splatting sounds. Most times I’d love lying here, listening to the rain, but right now it’s making me uneasy.
I get up, deciding to go and make myself something to eat. Really, it’s just to try and take my mind off all the information Raide gave me, mixed with what Axel gave me. My heart is constantly aching, and it’s taking all my strength not to run to Axel and just forget the past and find the future. But that’s not so easy to do right now. I just need some time, some space, to figure out how this is going to go down.
I spend the next two hours reading in Lady’s library. I’ve picked up an old Virginia Andrews book, and I’m flicking through the pages.
That’s when someone raps on the door, loudly, frantically. I get to my feet, staring at the entryway. I didn’t hear a car. I walk slowly toward the door, wondering if it’s a good idea to answer it. I mean, what if it’s one of Lady’s cases, and he or she is on a rampage? I scrunch my nose up in contemplation, and continue toward the front door.