The groom had three close friends, that were prone to committing practical jokes. One being a carpenter, the other an ordinary guy, and the third a dentist.
They all decided to pull practical jokes on their newly married friends. The carpenter decided he would cut the slats in the bed so that when they climbed into bed, the bed would collapse. The ordinary guy decided to short-sheet the bed, so that when they got into it their feet wouldn\'t reach the bottom. The dentist chuckled and wouldn\'t tell anyone what he planned to do.
A week later the three friends all received letters in the mail.
«Dear friends, we didn\'t mind the fact that when we got into bed, the bed collapsed, or the guy that short-sheeted it, but I\'m gonna kill the bastard that put the novacaine in the vaseline!»
Study the words and expressions given below:
groom жених
to commit совершать, устраивать
carpenter плотник
ordinary обычный
guy парень
dentist дантист
slat перекладина
to collapse падать, рушиться
bottom низ
to chuckle хихикать
to mind возражать, иметь что-либо против
bastard ублюдок
novacaine новокаин
vaseline вазелин
to plan on doing sth планировать сделать что-л.
to be prone to doing sth иметь склонность к чему-л.
close friend близкий друг
practical joke розыгрыш
to pull a joke on sb подшутить над кем-л.
newly married молодожены
to short-sheet подвернуть простыню под матрац
Exercises to the text1. Answer the questions to the text:
1. Why did the couple decide to just go back to their new apartment after the wedding?
2. What were the groom\'s close friends prone to committing?
3. What were they?
4. How did the carpenter decide to make fun of the newly married couple?
5. What did the ordinary guy decide to do?
6. Why didn\'t the dentist say what he was going to do?
7. How long did it take the newly married couple to write letters to their friends?
8. What was the young husband going to do with the dentist?2. Fill in the blanks with the words from the text:
1. A couple was planning on _______ married.
2. They decided to _______ go back to their new apartment.
3. The groom had three _______ friends.
4. They were prone to _______ practical jokes.
5. They decided to _______ a practical joke on their friends.
6. The carpenter decided he _______ cut the slats.
7. The bed would _______.
8. Their feet didn\'t _______ the bottom.3. Say if the sentences are true of false:
1. They decided to just go to Italy after the wedding.
2. The groom had three close friends.
3. The carpenter decided he would put the novacaine in the vaseline.
4. The ordinary guy decided to short-sheet the bed.
5. The dentist chuckled and told he would pull the bride\'s teeth out.
6. A week later the three friends all received telegrams.4. Match the words and expressions in the left column to those in the right one:
5. Translate from Russian into English:
1. Парочка собиралась пожениться.
2. У жениха было трое близких друзей.
3. Они имели склонность к розыгрышам.
4. Плотник решил, что он подрубит перекладины на постели.
5. Дантист усмехнулся и никому не захотел сказать, что он собирается сделать.
6. Я убью ублюдка!
Revise English grammarВ предложении The carpenter decided he would cut the slats… используется не встречающаяся в русском языке временная форма глагола – будущее-в-прошедшем время. Она образуется при помощи вспомогательного глагола would.
Этот же глагол – в другом значении – используется в предложении The dentist chuckled and wouldn\'t tell anyone what he planned to do…
Проверьте, насколько хорошо вы владеете этой формой глагола, при необходимости обращаясь к грамматическому комментарию (разделы 10, 11).6. Fill in the blanks with appropriate forms of the verbs:
1. As the young couple didn\'t have much money to go on a honeymoon, they decided that they (to go back) _______ to their new apartment after the wedding.
2. The groom\'s close friends thought that they (to act) _______ wisely if they (to commit) _______ some practical jokes on their newly married friends.
3. The carpenter decided he (to cut) _______ the slats.
4. They thought that when the couple (to climb) _______ into bed, the bed (to collapse) _______.
5. The ordinary guy decided to short-sheet the bed, so that their feet (not to reach) _______ the bottom.
6. The dentist chuckled and (not to tell) _______ anyone what he planned to do.7. Find English equivalents to the Russian words in the scanword:
8. Render the joke.
Section 10 Bride and groom
A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an afternoon wedding where the groom was 95 and the bride was 23. The groom looked pretty feeble and the feeling was that the wedding night might kill him, because his bride was a healthy, vivacious young woman. But lo and behold, the next morning, the bride came down the main staircase slowly, step by step, hanging onto the bannister for dear life.
She finally managed to get to the counter of the little shop in the hotel. The clerk looked really concerned, «Whatever happened to you, honey? You look like you\'ve been wrestling an alligator!»
The bride groaned, hung on to the counter and managed to speak, «Ohhh God! He told me he\'d been saving up for 75 years and I thought he meant his money!!»
Study the words and expressions given below:
bride невеста
feeble слабый, хилый
healthy здоровый
vivacious живой, веселый
bannister перила
concern озабоченность, беспокойство
whatever что бы то ни было, что же
to wrestle бороться, заниматься борьбой
alligator аллигатор
to groan стонать